“Don’t get her started,” Tony said to Melissa. “I been dealing with her on this.”
“Fine.” Melissa shot up her hand.
Fine? That was it? Oh, great.
“Tony, she has a point.” I argued. “I should be able to have a say so.”
“And we don’t? We all live here, work here. This has long surpassed the single notion of what you think is best under you ideology of a post comet world.”
“Then it should have been a group decision.”
“It should not even be up for discussion at this point.” Tony’s voice was strong.
“Whoa. Whoa. Hey, hey…” Gil interjected. “What’s going on?”
Did my face show something? Arrogance at Gil’s arrival?
“Oh, okay, I sense the arrival of a shining knight.” Tony backed up. “A dark one, but a shining knight nonetheless.”
“Tony, come on,” Gil stated. “What’s going on?”
“Tell him.” Tony said to me. “Tell him what you are mad about so you can get him on your side and hear him say,” Tony changed the sound of his voice. “‘You’re right Anna, you’re always right. Whatever you want’.”
I gasped.
Gil laughed. “Was that supposed to be an imitation of me? Because it wasn’t very good.”
“I’m working on it.”
Gil breathed out. “What’s going on, Anna?”
“We were out there. I guess scouting the area for survivors. Not to help them, like I thought, but just to see them. I wanted to help. At the very least, if we didn’t go door to door, leave the bag of supplies. Tony yelled at me…”
“I did not.” Tony defended.
“You did too. You said I couldn’t do it and was adamant that it was something we couldn’t do.”
Gil glanced at Tony, then to me. “I… hate to say this, but I’m gonna have to side with Tony on this one.”
Tony gloated with a ‘Ha, I knew there was a reason I used to like you’.
“Both of you…” I pointed. “Suck.” And then I walked out.
Okay, that was immature and not the way to end or handle the situation. I wasn’t a child and I needed to stop behaving like one. If I wanted something to go my way, under the semi democracy of the bunker, I had to present it to everyone with a why. Not stomp to my room and pout.
“Are you better?” Tony asked as he entered my room. “Or do I still suck?”
“Both.” I stood from the bed. “Look, I don’t want to fight. I don’t. So, please, other than because I said so, can you explain to me please, why we can’t help those people in town? We have plenty.”
“Yes, we do. We have plenty for our survival,” Tony said “And you know what? We have plenty to help a family, and maybe even a family after that. But where does it end? When do we draw a line at what cuts into our survival. Everything here, Anna was done to prepare us for the long run. To hold us over until we are self sufficient. We cut into that, we cut into our insurance. Did you ever hear the expression ‘don’t feed the strays’?”
“That is cold.”
“That’s the truth. We hand out, they’ll come back. If they know they can get it, they’ll not do for themselves. Then what happens when we turn them down?”
“That family, Tony. It could have been us.”
“It wasn’t. And you can’t feel guilty because you have and they don’t.”
I sniffled.
“Are you sick or are you crying?”
“Neither. I’m cold.” I walked over to the chair and grabbed the worn, but thick gray and black striped hooded sweatshirt.
“Did you know every time you wear that, Peter brags that he gave that to you?”
“He did.”
“He still brags.” He stepped to me and pulled the hood over my head, pulling the strings.
“I’m sure I look like a dork right now.”
“A cute one.” Tony held on to the draw strings. “Listen to what I am going to say. So I don’t sound cold or like a dick, or that I suck. Time has taken us past the point where we can just wave out our hand and say, ‘join us’. Time does damage and makes people desperate. Now, you can argue that it is all the more reason to help them, and I will argue that it is a mistake. We have it good. People would kill… and I stress kill to have what we have. If we just let anyone in, we chance having the same thing happen that occurred with the fire hall people. I know you feel bad. But you can’t save the world.” He walked over to my brandy and poured me a glass, handing it to me.
I thanked him and said, “Don’t you want to try? If not the world, then just a speck of it?”
“No, I don’t. I worry about you and my daughter. Your safety.”
“What about her future?”
“That too.”
“Then you don’t care if all she knows is these walls. These kids in the bunker with her. You don’t want her to experience the world out there.”
“Not if it means her safety.” Tony replied.
“But if we help people…”
“Anna…”
“Listen to me. If we help people, we can get them strong enough to rebuild this world right along with us.”
“I hear you. I do and that… is a great idea… but. It has to be executed correctly. In order to even help a speck of the world it has to be done right. There has to be a process, a standard we set. A way we handle the help. All of which would include having enough to help. That would include more hands on. We don’t have a lot of us. The more outsiders we bring in, the more chance we take of losing control of what is ours. This is ours, Anna. It is not unrealistic to believe there will be people who want to take from us, over and over. And we don’t have the manpower to fight a big takeover. If we go out there with care packages, eventually someone is gonna search out where they came from.”
“So let me get this right. You’re not really cold and heartless. You really would want to help people if you had the means and the muscle of protection behind you.”
“Absolutely. And a place to put them, because this place will get tight. I’m not giving up my space.” He took a sip of my brandy and handed back the glass. “Sorry, I like our joined rooms.” He winked.
“Okay.” I stepped back and walked to my dresser. “I’ll be back.”
“Where are you going?”
I lifted another glass and the bottle of brandy. “I need to talk to Gil.”
Tony crossed one arm over his waist and looked at me.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Should I be worried? I mean, you’re taking booze and are dressed seductively in that ugly hooded shirt.”
“No worries.” I crinkled my nose.
“Anna…” He called before I left. “No matter how drunk you get him, you won’t get him to side with you on this one.”
“Oh, I’m not going to get him to side with me. I’m going to convince him to stay.” I headed to the door.
“Okay. Now I am worried.”
Booze in hand, I smiled and left and sought out Gil.
He was on the third level of Hive One. Peter told me he was in his room.
When I arrived there his door was ajar. I called out and walked in.
“Hey,” he said. “This a surprise. That’s a good look for you.”
“I brought you a drink.” I closed the door using my foot.
“You shut the door. Are you seducing me?”
“Tony thinks I am.” I poured him a drink.
“Even better.” He took the glass. “But I must tell you, Anna, you don’t need to get me drunk.”
“You’re a married man, Gil.”
“Anna, come on. You know that marriage was a political move.”
I gave him a closed mouth smile and clinked my glass to his. “Sorry I said you suck.”
“You’ve said worse in twenty years.”