She shook her head several times. “No. No, no, no.”
“Here’s another truth,” I said. “The White Council has seven Laws of Magic. Screwing around in other people’s heads breaks one of them. When the Council finds out what you’ve done, they’ll put you on trial and execute you. Trial, sentence, and execution won’t take an hour.”
She fell silent, staring at me, crying harder. “Trial?” she whispered.
“A couple of days ago I watched them execute a kid who had broken the same law.”
Her shocked expression could not seem to recover. Her eyes roamed randomly, blurred with tears. “But… I didn’t know.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I said.
“I never meant to hurt anyone.”
“Ditto.”
She broke out into a half-hysterical sob and clutched at her stomach. “But… but that’s not fair.”
“What is?” I said quietly. “One more hard truth for you. I’m a Warden of the Council now, Molly. It’s my job to take you to them.”
She only stared. She looked wracked with pain, helpless, alone. God help me, she looked like the little girl I’d first met at Michael’s house years before. I had to remind myself that there was another, darker portion of the girl behind those blue eyes. The snarling rage, the denial, they both belonged to the parts of her mind that had been twisted as she twisted others.
I wished that I hadn’t seen flashes of that other self in her, because I did not want to follow the chain of consequence that sprang from it. Molly had broken the Laws of Magic. She’d inflicted incalculable harm on others. Her damaged psyche could collapse on her, leaving her insane.
All of which meant that she was dangerous.
Ticking-bomb dangerous.
It did not matter to the Laws that she had meant well. She had become exactly the kind of person that the Laws of Magic-and their sentence- were created to deal with.
But when the law fails to protect those it governs, it’s up to someone else to pick up the slack-in this case, me. There was a chance that I could save her life. It wasn’t an enormous chance, but it was probably the best shot she was going to get. Assuming, of course, that she was not already too far around the bend.
I only knew one sure way to find out.
I stopped in the darkened hall and turned to her. “Molly. Do you know what a soulgaze is?”
“It… I read in a book that it’s when you look into someone’s eyes. You see something about who they are.”
“Close enough,” I agreed. “You ever done it?”
She shook her head. “The book said it could be dangerous.”
“Can be,” I confirmed. “Though probably not for the reasons you’d think. When you see someone like that, Molly, there’s no hiding the truth about who you are. You see it all, good and bad. No specifics, usually, but you get a damned good idea about what kind of person they are. And it’s for keeps. Once you’ve seen it, it stays in your head, fresh, period. And when you look at them, they get the same look at you.”
She nodded. “Why do you ask?”
“I’d like to gaze on you, if you’re willing to permit it.”
“Why?”
I smiled a little, though my reflection in a passing window looked mostly sad. “Because I want to help you.”
She turned away, as if to start walking again, but only swayed in place, her torn skirts whispering. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, kid. But I need you to trust me for a little while.”
She nodded, biting her lip. “Okay. What do I do?”
I stopped and turned to face her. She mirrored me. “This might feel a little weird. But it won’t last as long as it seems.”
“Okay,” she said, that lost-child tone still in her voice.
I met her eyes.
For a second, I thought nothing had happened. And then I realized that the soulgaze was already up and running, and that it showed me Molly, standing and facing me as nothing more than she seemed to be. But I could see down the hall behind her, and the church’s windows held half a dozen different reflections.
One was an emaciated version of Molly, as though she’d been starved or strung out on hard drugs, her eyes aglow with an unpleasant, fey light. One was her smiling and laughing, older and comfortably heavier, children surrounding her. A third faced me in a grey Warden’s cloak, though a burn scar, almost a brand, marred the roundness of her left cheek. Still another reflection was Molly as she appeared now, though more secure, laughter dancing in her eyes. Another reflection showed her at a desk, working.
But the last…
The last reflection of Molly wasn’t the girl. Oh, it looked like Molly, externally. But the eyes gave it away. They were flat as a reptile’s, empty. She wore all black, including a black collar, and her hair had been dyed to match. Though she looked like Molly, like a human being, she was neither. She had become something else entirely, something very, very bad.
Possibilities. I was looking at possibilities. There was definitely a strong presence of darkness in the girl, but it had not yet gained dominion over her. In all the potential images, she was a person of power-different kinds of power, certainly, but she was strong in all of them. She was going to wind up with power of her own to use or misuse, depending on what choices she made.
What she needed was a guide. Someone to show her the ropes, to give her the tools she would need to deal with her newfound power, and all the baggage that came with it. Yes, that kernel of darkness still burned coldly within her, but I could hardly throw stones there. Yes, she had the potential to go astray on an epic scale.
Don’t we all.
I thought of Charity and Michael, Molly’s parents, her family. Her strength had been forged and founded in theirs. They both regarded the use of magic as something suspect at best, and if not inherently evil, then inherently dangerous. Their opposition to the power that Molly had manifested might turn the strength they’d given their daughter against her. If she believed or came to believe that her power was an evil, it could push her faster down the left-hand path.
I knew something of how much Michael and Charity cared for their daughter.
But they couldn’t help her.
One thing was certain, though, and gave me a sense of reassurance. Molly had not yet indelibly stained herself. Her future had yet to be written.
It was worth fighting for.
The gaze ended, and the various images in the windows behind Molly vanished. The girl herself trembled like a frightened doe, staring up at me with her eyes wide and huge.
“My God,” she whispered. “I never knew…”
“Easy,” I told her. “Sit down until things stop spinning.”
I helped her settle to the floor with her back to the wall, and I did the same beside her. I rubbed at a spot between my eyebrows that began to twinge.
“What did you see?” she whispered.
“That you’re basically a decent person,” I told her. “That you have a lot of potential. And that you’re in danger.”
“Danger?”
“Power’s like money, kid. It isn’t easy to handle well, and once you start getting it, you can’t have enough. I think you’re in danger because you’ve made a couple of bad choices. Used your power in ways that you shouldn’t. Keep it up, and you’ll wind up working for the dark side.”
She drew her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Did… did you get what you needed?”