He pushes his chair back and gets up from the table. I swallow hard.
“I need to tell you this. I want you to know.”
I feel frightened, not physically but emotionally. “It can wait. Maybe I should go.” I need to avert this situation; I need to run.
I try to get away and he grabs my arm. “Hailey, stop. I need you to hear this. I promise you won’t be hurt. I wouldn’t hurt you, and you know this. I’ve proven myself to you.”
“That was ten years ago. I don’t know you.”
“Get to know me. Stop holding back.” He stands in front of me, blocking me. “Stop hiding from your feelings. I saw what you went through. I know how much pain you felt.”
“You have no idea. I try to put that in my past. I don’t want to relive it.”
“I need you to know what I felt back then,” he says.
I’m afraid to hear what he has to say. Is he going to say that he felt how the others felt? Is he going to say that I repulsed him with my fat self?
“I saw your face. When I saw you, I knew how Carrie affected you. I wanted to take your pain away. I would have beaten up everyone who’d hurt you if I could have, but they were girls.”
I smirk. “You couldn’t have protected me. Carrie was your girlfriend.”
“I think about it. I play it over and over in my head. I don’t know why she did what she did to you. The only thing I can come up with, based on my recollection and P’s theory, is that she tormented you for a reason. She thought you wanted me, and she also thought I wanted you.”
“She must have been on drugs back then, because that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Why is that stupid?”
I guess he’s forgotten what I looked like in high school. He could never have wanted anyone like me.
“Seriously, Chase, don’t go there.”
“Hailey.” He stares at me.
Tears begin to form. All this reminiscing is killing me.
“What?” I can’t look at him.
“Do you remember in high school when you were in the hallway crying and I came out to check on you?”
“Every day of my life. I was humiliated that day.”
“I wiped your tears away that day, and I really wanted to kiss you that day, too, but I couldn’t.” He lifts my chin up. Tears are flowing down my face and he wipes them away… again. “But I can now.”
He caresses my face with his hand and pulls me toward him. My brain tries to register what he’s just said to me. Filled with emotion, I allow him to invade my mouth. He glides his hand along my jaw as his tongue finds mine. I bite my lip as he breaks away.
“I want to touch you,” he confides.
“I’ve always dreamed of your touch, your hands on me,” I say, daydreaming after his sensual kiss.
“Your dreams are about to become reality.”
“Are you trying to provoke me?”
“Is it working?”
“Maybe.”
CHAPTER 17
Chase
I DIDN’T THINK Hailey would believe me when I told her the truth. She still seems to have low self-esteem, even though she is absolutely beautiful. One minute we are about to ravish each other, and the next minute, she changes. I knew this might be too much, but she confuses the hell out of me.
“This is too fast for me,” she sighs.
“I won’t kiss you again until you give me permission.” I back away from her. I would never force a woman into something she didn’t want.
“It’s not that I don’t want you, too. I don’t know... I’m just scared.”
“Don’t be scared. I would never hurt you. Do you want to leave?” I feel scared of her answer.
“No, of course not. Let’s finish dinner.”
We sit in our seats across from each other. I am aching for her… to touch her. Maybe we should have gone to a restaurant instead. I didn’t think emotions would be brewing like this. Her face looks like she is in deep thought.
“Are you okay?” I ask, raising my eyebrows at her.
“Yes. I’m sorry. I overreacted. I don’t want my old feelings to interfere with dinner. Let’s start over.” She reaches out her hand. “Hi, I’m Hailey, and it’s so great to meet you.”
I take her hand in mine. “Hi, I’m Chase. You are a very beautiful woman, and I would love to get to know you better.”
She hesitates and then gets up from her chair. She walks around the table.
I’m not sure what her move is about. Is she leaving? I told her I wouldn’t touch her.
“Chase.”
I look up at her. “Yes.”
She smashes her lips against mine. This move definitely catches me off guard. She likes me. She breaks the kiss, smiles, and goes back to her chair. As she sits back down, before I can speak, the doorbell rings.
What the fuck? What perfect timing…? I’m certainly not expecting anyone.
“Can you excuse me for a minute? I need to answer the door.” I’m hoping they have the wrong address. My parents are in California visiting my aunt and uncle, so it can’t be them. I look through the side window and see P standing there. Why is he here? I have to answer or he’ll never go away.
“Hey bro, what’s up?”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “The Knicks game. We were supposed to watch it tonight. I brought the pizza.”
“Shit man, I forgot. This day went too fast for me. I have to tell you something.”
“What?”
“Hailey’s here. I cooked dinner for her.”
“Oh damn. I’ll go.” He starts to walk away, shaking his head. “Whatever happened to bros before hoes?”
“Dude, you’re an ass. Come in. You drove all this way. I’ll talk to her.”
“Now you need permission from the date.”
I glare at him. “You have no feelings whatsoever.”
“None,” he says, laughing.
We head back inside. Hailey stands up from her chair. “Hailey, you remember Parker from school?”
“Yes, of course.” She shakes his hand and looks at me, confused.
I grab her hand. “P, I’m gonna talk to Hailey in private for a moment.”
He eyes us both up strangely and goes to sit in the living room. When he leaves, I whisper to Hailey, “I forgot we were watching the Knicks game tonight, but I could have sworn I told him. I must have been so wrapped up in thoughts of you, I forgot about everything else.
“That’s sweet, but I can just go,” she says.
“No, I want you to stay. It will be okay. P is my best friend, and you are my… friend… too. I’m sure all three of us can hang out.” I try to convince her, but really I’m trying to convince myself. I know how P can be.
“Okay, I’ll see how it goes.” Her smile is genuine.
I am dying inside. I hope to God P acts on his best behavior. She is sensitive, and he knows how to break people down. He also has no filter and says whatever comes out of his mouth.
I hope I’ve made the right decision.
CHAPTER 18
Hailey
SO MUCH FOR A GOOD DATE. I’m sitting here with two guys who were the most popular boys in high school. Who would have ever thought that would happen? Parker is eating his pizza with not a care in the world. He keeps looking over at me. Chase looks aggravated but keeps smiling at me. The whole situation is nuts. Parker finally speaks to me after twenty minutes.
“You look good, Hailey. It’s good to see you.”
That seems out of left field! Chase doesn’t look too happy with the comment.
“Thanks, Parker. It’s good to see you, too. It’s been a long time.”
As I’m sitting here, I receive a text message from my best friend, Erica. She was my only friend in high school, one of those people who were friends with everyone.