Jack laughed. ‘Then he’s definitely mine.’
He smoothed his hair in the hall mirror, straightened his tie, and fought his way into the drawing-room.
‘Look who’s here, Jack darling,’ I heard Rose shriek. ‘It’s darling Fay. Doesn’t she look beautiful?’
The next moment Maggie came out of the room. I caught a glimpse of her white stricken face as she fled upstairs.
After that the party got completely out of hand. The children came screaming out of the study, followed by the conjuror still in tears.
‘I want my money,’ he said, ‘and I’m going.’
No one of course had any cash. Jack had an Irish 50p, and Berenice had travellers’ cheques, and the conjuror wouldn’t take an ordinary cheque.
‘I want cash on delivery,’ he said, firmly sitting down on his trunk of magic. ‘I don’t trust that lot in there not to bounce cheques, and I’m going to wait until I get it.’
I could just have paid him myself but I wanted to keep enough cash for my fare back to London — just in case.
In the drawing-room Jack was chatting to Fay, one hand holding a drink, the other lying along the sofa behind her head. He looked the picture of handsome relaxed contentment.
Berenice surprisingly was nose to nose with Professor Copeland. ‘I think it’s so terrific,’ she was saying, ‘how you’re able to plug into yourself and find this conduit into your unconscious and be able to tap all that energy.’
Rose was suddenly looking a little disconsolate.
Jason ran screaming through the crowd, followed by Damian and Midas, each carrying one of Jack’s Masai spears. The Professor and Berenice followed their progress fondly.
‘If I’d been able to act out what I felt like that, I’m sure I wouldn’t have had to spend all those years in analysis,’ said the Professor. ‘I mean my father’s a case-book example of an anal retentive.’
‘You’re working too hard. Come and sit down and talk to Fay,’ Jack shouted across at me.
‘I will in a minute,’ I said.
In the kitchen I found Coleridge and Wordsworth and Antonia Fraser and the kitten demolishing the food. But even they drew the line at lentil loaf and carrot cake. Upstairs I found Maggie a sodden, heaving lump on her bed.
‘I can’t bear it, I can’t bear it. I expected her to look like an old frump,’ she sobbed, ‘and she turns up looking gorgeous, and Jack’s obviously mad about her. She must have been on a diet for days. I never thought she’d be that thin. And everyone’s w-watching and saying how much prettier she is than me.’
‘Of course they’re not,’ I said firmly. ‘You’re much prettier than she is, and much younger.’
‘Look how they’re all over her, Jack, Berenice, Copeland, Rose, even Ace I expect when he gets back. They’re so fickle.’
‘They want to make things easier for Lucasta,’ I said. ‘And I expect Jack feels guilty because he left her for you, and he wants to make things up to her, not to go back at all, just to say he’s sorry.’
‘I hate them; I hate them both,’ sobbed Maggie.
More screams downstairs, and a volley of loud explosions. ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ I said.
Damian and Midas were standing on the stairs. They had found a packet of cigarettes, and had lit up and were systematically bursting balloons.
‘Stop it,’ I screamed. They took no notice. They really ought to join some paramilitary operation like the Scouts.
More dads arrived in second cars to collect children and mums who were not sober enough to drive, and they all stayed for the party, and had to be got drinks as well.
Lucasta was sitting on Jack’s knee now, playing with Fay’s charm bracelet. They all looked so happy. Jesus, I thought, what a bloody lot of unhappiness divorce makes.
Professor Copeland and Berenice were still having a great rap. ‘I found I couldn’t write about it,’ she was saying. ‘My life with Aaron was too painful to be transformed into enduring art.’
‘Don’t pull Antonia Fraser’s tail like that, Damian,’ said Delphinium. ‘Physical violence is not the answer.’
‘Perhaps I will have a drink after all,’ said the conjuror.
Somewhere in the distance I heard the back door slam. It was seven o’clock now. I was worried about Ace. The roads must be like glass.
‘When we give a children’s party,’ said Berenice, ‘we just write the scenario as we go along.’
In the hall, Damian and Midas were writing their own scenario in red lipstick all over the walls.
‘Stop it!’ I screamed at them. ‘Stop it, you little monsters!’
Once again neither of them took any notice. Then Damian raised two fingers at me.
The next moment Jason came out of the kitchen brandishing a kitchen knife.
‘No,’ I shrieked.
A key turned in the door and Ace walked in. Oh the blissful, blissful relief to see him.
‘Oh, thank God you’ve come,’ I said.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘They are.’ I pointed to Damian and Midas, and Jason who was now deciding which to carve up.
Ace was across the room in a flash.
‘Stop it,’ he said firmly, removing Jason’s knife, and picking both Damian and Midas up by the scruff of the neck, ‘or I’ll bash all your heads together. There’s a television in the study. Go and watch it.’
To my amazement they went quietly.
‘What else is the matter?’
‘The conjuror’s in hysterics. He couldn’t handle the children, and no one’s got enough money to pay him, so he’s joined the party and started drinking, and he doesn’t drink.’
‘Go and get him,’ said Ace, getting a wad of tenners out of his notecase.
‘What else?’ he said, after the conjuror had been dispatched into the night.
‘Fay’s here,’ I said miserably. ‘Rose is all over her, and Jack’s flirting like mad with her.’
‘And Maggie?’ he said swiftly. He always got the point at once.
‘She’s in absolute floods upstairs.’
He went towards the stairs. ‘I’ll go up and talk to her. Be an angel and mix me a very stiff whisky.’
‘Was it all right today?’ I said. ‘Not too awful?’
He shrugged his shoulders. ‘Pretty bloody, but at least it’s done.’
I went into the drawing-room to get the whisky. The party showed no signs of abating at all.
‘Where’s Ivan?’ said Berenice. ‘He should be back by now.’
‘He’s back,’ I said. ‘He’s upstairs with Maggie.’
Berenice’s eyes narrowed till they seemed one black slit across her face.
‘She’s upset,’ I explained.
‘Whatever for?’
‘She’s unhappy because Fay’s here.’
‘She’s so old-fashioned,’ said Berenice scornfully. ‘Everyone’s loose about exes these days; it’s healthy; you’ve got to stay loose. I can’t understand jealousy, it’s something I’ve never suffered from.’
‘Oh I’m sure you’re above that sort of thing,’ I snapped.
I put some ice in the whisky and shot out of the room.
I met Ace coming down the stairs; he looked very bleak; he was holding a letter.
‘What’s the matter?’ I said.
‘Maggie’s walked out.’
‘To Pendle?’ I whispered.
‘So she says in this note to Jack.’ He put his hand on my arm. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Oh God, how awful. But she can’t have got far; she was here twenty minutes ago.’
He opened the front door and looked out — snow was eddying and whirling and a shower of hard tiny frozen flakes swept inside.
‘Jack’s car’s gone. She must have taken it. Must be trying for the 7.45. She could kill herself on these roads.’
Suddenly he looked ashen beneath his suntan. He must be remembering Elizabeth driving too fast on icy roads in her excitement to meet him at the airport. He took the whisky from me and drained it in one gulp.