I’ve barely closed my eyes before the alarm goes off at six a.m. Pushing the comforter from my body, I roll my legs off the bed and pull out into a long stretch. I’m not used to getting up for work anymore.
If I could just rest my eyes for two more minutes…
“Oh no, you don’t!” I say to myself and shake off the need to go back to sleep.
Rolling my neck from side to side, I notice Gabriel is already in the shower.
Knowing I’d have trouble getting up in the morning, I was smart enough to shower before bed last night. I was too excited to go to sleep, so I had to do something with my time. Of course, as soon as I dozed off, Jackson woke me up, and now, with only two hours of sleep, I have to make myself look like a sophisticated businesswoman.
I walk into our small walk-in closet and pull out an outfit I specifically picked for today: an Albert Nipon ivory crepe pantsuit with a V-neck jacket adorned with a gold zipper in the front and an ivory belt. Since Memorial Day weekend just passed a few weeks ago, I can now safely wear white without committing a fashion faux pas. The suit is sophisticated and stylish yet casual enough to wear to work. This I bought with Malory in mind. Everyone knows women dress to impress other women.
I head into the bathroom in an attempt to, as my mother would say, “put my face on.” Opening the makeup bag, I unload my arsenal. If I learned one thing living with my mother, it was a girl needs her war paint before she goes into everyday combat. Due to last night’s lack of sleep, I have dark circles under my eyes. I slather on concealer, add a pinch of bronzer for color and line my eyes with a soft black before adding some mascara.
After having changed in our room, Gabriel walks into the bathroom. “You look nice.” He sounds slightly surprised.
I look back at my reflection. It is a vast improvement from the yoga pants, tank tops, and messy bun I’ve been sporting.
Gabriel, as always, looks handsome in his navy suit, crisp white shirt, and sapphire tie. It’s the one I bought him last year, along with new dress socks. A practical gift. I remember when I once bought him a bong and a thong.
“What do you want to do for dinner?” Gabriel asks, combing his hair while leaning over the double vanity.
I love his hair. It’s dark and wavy, a beautiful contrast to his blue eyes.
“I was thinking we could order in. I want to make sure I spend time with Jackson tonight.”
Today will be Jackson’s first day home without me. I know they say women can’t have it all—a career and a family—but I certainly am going to try. And if I have to forgo a home-cooked meal every once in a while to spend extra time with my son, that’s what I’m going to do.
Gabriel wipes the pads of his fingertips across his forehead; his disapproving eyes meeting mine through the mirror. “I let the nanny in while you were sleeping.”
I hold up my hand, pointing a finger in the air in warning. “Don’t.”
His mouth pulls in as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “How can you possibly expect me to be comfortable having a stranger home with Jack all day?” He looks back at me for a reaction. “It doesn’t even make sense financially. Between the cost of the nanny and the price for commuting, it’s just not worth it.” Gabriel has been against me returning to work. He loves me at home with the baby. I understand his concern, but I can’t take him pressing the issue again.
Running the brush through my hair, I let the soft brown curls fall down my back. I stare back at tired green eyes. This will have to do.
Turning my back to the mirror, I lean against the vanity and face Gabriel. “We still have your college loans to pay off. And some day we’ll have Jackson’s college loans to pay off. I can’t stay home forever.”
Gabriel puts his hands on his hips and lets out a hard breath. “I know. I know,” he says as if he’s trying to convince himself.
The last six weeks have been a continuous back-and-forth between us on the issue. Doors were slammed and the couch was slept on—not by me. It would have ended sooner, but Gabriel was called away on business half the time. He might be a successful attorney but this is one jury he was unable to sway. I’ve made too many consolations in this marriage. I am ready to take back my life.
We made amends and he promised he wouldn’t give me a hard time about it.
Gabriel places his arms around my waist and pulls me into him. “I just always pictured you home, taking care of Jack. And maybe having another…” he says with a twinkle in his eye.
I step back and put my hand up in a stop motion. “Hold on there, cowboy. First, one baby at a time. And second, Carmen is an amazing nanny. She came highly recommended and her credentials are impeccable.”
“She better be. She’s costing an arm and a leg.” He frowns, and I know he doesn’t get it.
I’m just glad he’s going along with it.
Stepping back into him, I put my hand on his face and lower his chin so our eyes are level. My voice is soft yet steady. “She will be. I promise. And besides, you hate your job. Maybe someday I’ll be able to support you and you can be the one to stay home.”
Gabriel lets out a soft sigh of defeat, but I can sense the wheels turning in his head. “How about we make a deal?” His navy eyes light up.
I eye him quizzically but let him continue.
“One year from today, we reopen the discussion. If our family is suffering or if this career is going nowhere, you come back home.” He holds up his pinky finger in front of his face, looking for me to seal the promise. “Deal?”
I wrap my finger around his and kiss our two fingers that are intertwined with each other.
“Deal.” I promise. “As long as you promise me one thing.”
Gabriel raises his eyebrow.
I widen my eyes so he knows I mean business. “No more talk. We can’t keep having the same discussion. No more arguing. You are giving me one year. Deal?”
Gabriel kisses our pinkies and releases our hands. “Good. Because in a year, I’ll be partner and you won’t have a need to work,” he says confidently.
I cringe at the idea.
“Chinese food for dinner?” I ask, heading out of the bathroom and through our bedroom.
“Don’t have to ask me twice.” He’s fastening his watch as he follows me down the hallway.
We make our way downstairs to the kitchen, where Carmen is feeding Jackson.
“Don’t forget you have to pick up milk on your way home.” I grab my purse from the counter.
“Okay. Good luck. Have fun. I love you,” Gabriel says, picking up his suitcase from the floor by the front door..
“You too.” I give him a swift kiss and then turn on my heel and face Jackson sitting in his highchair with a face full of oatmeal.
“And you too.” I give my little man a big kiss and head out the door with a stomach full of nerves.
Asher-Marks Communications is located in the Asher Building, a tall, glass skyscraper in midtown Manhattan. The two-story lobby of the building is intimidating with glass panel windows. Steel bars run across the vast space. Black granite lines the elevator banks and the walls behind the security desk.
“Seven Nation Army” by the White Stripes plays in my head. It’s my inner fight song, the one I play during a good workout and I sing to myself when I need a boost. The beat pounds in my head as I move forward.
The name ASHER is emblazoned on top of an omega symbol on the far wall above the security desk. Omega is the emblem of greatness. It’s ironic that a place with an insignia meaning the end is the place I’m hoping to find a new beginning.
The Asher name is well known in the city. Not as recognized as, say, Trump or Lauren. There is no reality show or clothing line. No high-profile divorces or runs for public office. Edward Asher is a renowned developer and financier. Over the past fifty years, he’s become one of the most powerful people in New York City. He is a prominent real estate investor and is a major stockholder in various companies, many of which have been relocated to this building. His name can be seen in hospital wings, college buildings, and minor league stadiums, all for donating insane amounts of money. Asher-Marks Communications is one of the Asher businesses, but I doubt I’ll ever see him step foot in the office.