I feel like I was just talking to her about the flowers five minutes ago. A look at the clock startles me to realize I’ve wasted an hour in my office being caught up in my own head.
Trish takes her usual seat in the chair opposite my desk. I never have company in this office except for Trish, and Asher that one time. I always seem to be heading to everyone else’s desk.
Trish leans in. She has a stack of papers in her hand and a beaming smile on her face. “I came to tell you I got that raise.”
Oh. This is news.
“Congratulations! I see Erik took care of the misunderstanding, then.” I may not have seen Asher in days, but I can’t erase my embarrassing outburst in the elevator.
“Actually, Mr. Asher called me up to his office personally. It was very intimidating.”
“I can imagine.” I know from experience. “What did he say?”
“Well, he sat me down in his office and asked me everything from my duties here at the office to the new ones I have acquired working with Heather.” Trish starts fiddling with her hands.
“Were you nervous?” I ask because her body is radiating with unused energy she’s clearly been storing up.
“So nervous!” She leans forward in her seat and grabs the backs of her knees. “And it didn’t help that at the end of the conversation, he just dismissed me. Just like he was done with me or something.”
That sounds like the man I know. “When did you have this conversation?”
“Last night, after you left. I’ve been going crazy all night. I didn’t know what it meant. Kevin told me not to worry and that I should quit if Asher refuses my raise.”
“But you got the raise, right?”
“Yes, well, not officially.” Trish turns beat red and bows her head in embarrassment.
“Trish!” She has to stop telling me things like this! “Have you been reading Erik’s emails again?”
She peeks up at me with a look of shame. “Guilty.”
“Trish, you have to stop that. If I find out you’re doing it again, I have no choice but to tell Erik. Please don’t put me in this position.”
“I know, I know. It’s just… I’ve been so consumed with these feelings of anger over the matter and I’m not an angry person. I didn’t know what to do with myself.” With just one look at Trish’s remorse, I know she’s telling the truth. This girl doesn’t have a vindictive bone in her body. Of course she wouldn’t know how to handle her feelings in this matter.
“Well, I guess the damage is done. What did the email say?”
“Mr. Asher told Erik that after reviewing the matter and having a personal conversation with me, he found me to be a bright and capable young woman who is invaluable to the project.” Trish’s beaming smile was back.
“He’s right about that.” I can’t help but match her grin. It’s infectious.
“And he said Heather’s review of me is without merit and Erik should give me a raise as he sees fit and consider me for a promotion when the project is over, as I am, and I quote, overqualified for my current helm.” Her posture straightens and her chin lifts to the north in a sense of pride.
“Right, again. I’d say you really impressed him. And I hope Erik gives you a decent increase.”
“Oh, I know he will. At least what is fair, of course. Erik is just that way. You know, all for one and that kind of thing.” She bobbles in her chair like there’s a spring underneath her.
“I do.” It’s the one thing that keeps me sane around here. “Again, I’m very happy you have some closure on the matter.”
Trish lets out a laugh. “I feel much better.” She holds the papers she’s been holding on to straight out in front of her, putting them in front of my face. “Mr. Asher told me to give these to you.”
I take the papers from her hand and look over them. They’re all the proposals I’ve been sending up to his office for review. I flip through each contract in my hand, Asher’s signature on each of them. He approved everything.
I look up at Trish, who is playing with the hem of her skirt. “Did he say anything when he gave these to you?” I ask, hoping for some inclination of his feeling toward me after such a ridiculous outburst in the elevator.
Trish curls her eyebrows in and puckers her mouth in thought. “No. He just told me to take them to Mrs. Monroe. I almost didn’t know who he was talking about.”
I hate how he uses my married name. Its like he’s using it as an insult.
It doesn’t matter anyway. Now that he’s approved these contracts, I can get to work and hopefully get to the end of this project without having to see him. If I can do everything over interoffice mail and e-mail, then I’ll be very happy to never see Asher again.
Trish looks at me as if she can read my mind. She leans forward a touch to tell me, “He’ll be at the meeting on Friday.” It was a warning in the sweetest tone.
I laugh. Like really laugh. This girl totally gets me. “Is it just me or is that man confusing as all hell?”
She nods her head in agreement. “He is really bananas. Sometimes we don’t see him for months. He usually deals directly with Erik. And when he is around, he’s so serious, although Erik always comments on how cool the guy is. I’ve never seen it though.”
I saw a tiny glimpse of a relaxed Alexander Asher that first time I met him. Every time since then has been extreme.
“But he’s not supposed to be around until Friday, right?”
“Right. You’re safe for a few more days.” Trish answers as if she knew I had an undercurrent of regret and hostility building up inside of me. Although she’d probably say that to everyone in the office since we all seem to be on edge when he’s around.
My commute gives me time to think and decompress before starting or ending my day. On the way to work, I can read the paper, a good book, and listen to music. The people on the train around me are in the same Zen state of mind. Many are even asleep. It’s the dawn before the workday and everyone is refueling, getting those last moments of peace before having to answer to “the man.”
“The man” for me is a six-foot-tall bronze-skinned god who can turn you into a pillar of salt with just the look of an eye. Why does he have to be good-looking? Most CEOs are middle-aged men who only get beautiful women because of their money. Not Asher. No, he could get any woman even if he lived in a cardboard box. He has a debonair smile, his teeth a perfect row of white pearls. And his clothes, well, there’s no mistaking he has the physique of a Greek god or else his suits wouldn’t fit so perfectly on his square shoulders. I wonder what he looks like under his shirt.
What is wrong with me?
I blame Gabriel. Gabriel and I haven’t been intimate in over a month, and I’m wound so damn tightly I think I might burst.
Has it been longer? I have no clue. And I probably wouldn’t have noticed except I did an impromptu count after Malory asked me about my sex life, again.
So instead of feeling the warm arms of my beautiful, blue-eyed husband, I’m being attacked in my dreams by the chiseled chin and tanned skin of a man I cannot stand.
Okay, attacked is too strong a word. Aside from the first dream I had weeks ago, I’ve woken up before anything sinful could happen. While the dreams haven’t gotten physical since then, it bothers me he’s there at all. With each dream he taunts me, pulling me into an abyss of blackness.
It’s ridiculous that my mind would even put him in such a position. Asher is rich and powerful. The man can have anyone he wants. I saw the photos on the computer. He’s hardly without a beautiful blonde model or brunette actress. He probably tosses a redhead in there for jollies sometimes. Maybe all three at once.
And while I think he is quite the specimen, the truth is he makes my skin crawl.
All day at work, my mind keeps going back to that scene in the elevator. He was consuming and dominating, trying to turn me on when he knew I was his employee. How appalling is it that this sicko knew exactly who I was, didn’t tell me and made a mockery of me in the elevator? He did know who I was, right? If he didn’t when I got in the limo, he definitely did by the time we were in the elevator. He even made a joke about it to Trish. No, he embarrassed me. Especially when he caught my little show in my wet white shirt!