And he was never leaving Bliss again. He’d learned his damn lesson.
“Good.” James settled his hat back on his head. “I think Hope’s planning on leaving, but she can’t without a car.”
Noah really didn’t like the idea of Hope leaving, so he was mighty happy he’d made the deal he had. He was going to have to make them all over the county. He had to go out tomorrow and talk to Max and Rye. He wasn’t looking forward to it. He might have to work for free for a year or two. Hope turned her head toward him, and his breath just about stopped. Yeah, he didn’t give a shit about the cash.
James stared at him.
“Really? Dude, you’re looking at her like she’s got a halo on her head. Didn’t you learn your lesson with Ally?” James asked.
“She isn’t Ally.”
James threw his head back and laughed.
“What?”
“I’m just realizing a few things.”
“Well, hell, brother, fill me in.”
James pointed straight at him. “Ally damn near broke you. She turned your whole fucking world upside down. She lied to you and used you, and here you are six months later back for more.”
It really did make him sound like a fool. Maybe he should back off. Maybe he should think about this more.
“Don’t frown like that,” James admonished. “I wasn’t saying it was a bad thing. I was just thinking that five years with a greedy bitch didn’t wipe out your childhood. I was thinking it was a good thing.”
Noah froze because his brother was right. Five years of being abused emotionally didn’t erase all the decades of watching real love. Watching his dads and his mom had merely made the longing sharper, less avoidable. He knew what he wanted. He’d gone about it all wrong. He’d allowed childish jealousies to lead him, but he wanted real love now. He wanted what his parents had. “I’m not a kid anymore. I want a family. I want what our dads had. I want the same thing you want.”
James took a step back. “I don’t want that.”
“How can you say that?”
James turned his face down. “I don’t want to fucking fade away. Look, I want a family, but what we had growing up just isn’t going to work for me. I watched my dad die because your dad and their wife were gone. He just sat down and waited.”
And that seemed like a beautiful fucking thing to Noah. “What’s wrong with that? I think they’re together again.”
“And if they aren’t? If this is all there is?”
His brother’s low words struck a chord in Noah. How much had being alone affected his brother? “Then at least they had each other. At least they really loved someone and someone loved them.”
“You weren’t here. You didn’t watch it.”
“I watched Momma die. I watched our dads have to live through it. I know I wasn’t here for Dad, but watching Papa was bad enough. And I know damn well he wouldn’t have taken back a moment of it. Not even the end.” He’d watched his fathers both die inside the day his mother had passed, but they’d found comfort in each other. “You remember what they did the night before her funeral?”
“They sat up all night and talked. They talked about her. I think they went through every picture we had.” James’s face was red, and Noah could tell he was trying to hold it together. How hard had it been to have to live in that house every day and know what he’d lost? To have to live with the ghosts of his family? Would the burden have been easier if Noah had stayed?
They had been raised differently. Other brothers were raised to know they would leave one day and that their relationship would be at best friendly—a congenial friendship made up of holidays and birthdays. That wasn’t how he and James had been raised. Their role models had been two men sharing a wife, sharing the burdens and joys, knowing always that they weren’t alone. They had their dads to look up to, and hanging out with Max and Rye hadn’t helped. Max and Rye Harper had always known they were halves of a whole and incomplete without the other. He and James weren’t twins, weren’t even blood, but their childhood had made promises that Noah had broken.
And it looked like James was paying the price.
“Are you two okay?” Hope asked, walking up to them. “Are you fighting again?”
“No,” Noah said. “We were just talking about our dads.”
Hope’s face went soft, and without a moment’s hesitation, she walked up to James and wrapped her arms around him. For the barest second, Noah worried James would just stand there. He had never been one to show his emotions. He was a stoic cowboy to the end. Except now his brother’s arms clutched at Hope. He pressed her close, and his face became buried in her hair. They stood that way for a long moment, James seeming to take comfort from the petite woman.
“She’s taken then, huh?” The scruffy one sighed. “All the pretty ones seem to be taken.”
“Yes, she’s taken. She belongs to me and my brother.” He said it quietly because he was pretty damn sure both his brother and Hope would disagree with him. It didn’t matter. He could be stubborn, too.
Jesse shrugged. “One of these days. Where did Cade slip off to?”
Hope’s eyes were suspiciously bright as she and James let go, but his brother seemed much more in control. “Okay, someone promised me lunch. I am totally letting the two of you pay since it seems like I’ll need every dime to get a new car. Oh, and afterwards I need to stop by and help Nell set up her stand. I think she’s selling bread and some kind of dream catcher. But it could be tofu and cruelty-free undies for all I know. I just promised I would help her set up. I have a schedule to keep after all. Just because I’m not working right now doesn’t mean I don’t have plans. Oh, god. I was supposed to have dinner with Lucy last night. I’m a horrible person.”
“She called the house.” James put an arm around her shoulder. She didn’t move away. “She was worried, but I told her you were all right.” He looked over at Noah. “Lucy is one of the new folks in town. She’s working at the tavern that Callie’s husband runs. Hope is her friend.”
“Thanks for explaining to her,” Hope said.
They started walking toward the door, James and Hope, side by side. One day he was going to be on the other side. That would be his place. He would prove he belonged there.
“Are you coming?” Hope asked, a hint of a smile on her face.
He caught up as fast as he could. Maybe it wouldn’t take so long. Hope was stuck with them for a while. Anything could happen as long as James didn’t kick him out. He certainly hadn’t expected to sleep with her cuddled between them last night. He felt surprisingly optimistic for the first time in a long time. He was back at the G. He was making headway with his family. He’d met a woman he really liked.
Things could work out.
He pushed through the doors as he felt his stomach growl. “I am ready for some lunch.”
Hope gasped as she looked at the truck.
“What the hell?” James asked.
There was a single flower on the hood of James’s truck. It was perfectly white and wholly incongruous. “I think someone likes you, James.”
James rolled his eyes. “I have to have a talk with someone. It seems like a girl I was dating has taken the whole two times we went out way too seriously.”
“Serena?” Hope asked. Noah couldn’t help but notice her face had gone utterly white.
James sighed. “Yeah. Hope, you gotta believe me. I never promised her a thing. It was two dates, but on one of them I brought her some gardenias because it was the opening night of her play. I kinda slept through most of it. She must have thought she was being cute. I’m going to talk to her.”