It had been absolutely perfect.
So why was his heart aching? Why was he wondering where Noah was and how he was doing? He was being a complete idiot. Noah was going to get what he deserved. He was going to have to deal with the fact that Hope would choose him. Noah was going to have to watch as he and Hope started a life together. Noah was going to have to be the one on the outside.
What the hell was he doing?
“Are you coming?” Hope asked, smoothing down her hair. “Shouldn’t you put on your pants?”
He didn’t see a need for pants when she was around. They just got in the way of his dick. He’d fucked her so hard he shouldn’t be able to use the damn thing for a while, but it looked like Hope was the ultimate cure for erectile problems. His well-used cock was stirring at the thought of flipping that skirt up again. Noah had been right about one thing. She didn’t need panties. He would make sure all of her panties mysteriously disappeared.
God, he didn’t want to leave this room. Leaving this room meant deciding things he wasn’t ready to decide.
Noah was in love with Hope. He’d just forced Noah to watch as he made love to the woman Noah was crazy about, and he hadn’t offered to share. He was feeling a little dirty. Not because of what he’d done with Hope but because he knew damn well she wanted Noah, too, and he’d kept them apart. He hadn’t done what he’d wanted to do. He hadn’t held her breasts up and offered his brother a taste. He hadn’t asked his brother to hold her down while he tongue fucked her. He hadn’t placed her between him and Noah so she knew damn well she was protected on all sides.
It was counter to everything he believed, but he just wasn’t ready to let Noah back in. The wound was too deep, and Noah walking back in the way he had was like ripping the scab off. James was bleeding again, and he wasn’t sure how to stop.
“I’m coming.” He grabbed his jeans. “How does your bottom feel?”
She flushed. After all the nasty stuff he’d done to her, she could still look so innocent. “It’s fine.”
“You liked your massage.” After he’d wrung several more orgasms out of her, he’d laid her down on the massage table and taken care of her the way he should. He’d deeply enjoyed rubbing every inch of her skin and listening to her purr.
“I liked everything, James. You know I did, but now I’m hungry, and it’s almost dinnertime. Did you plan to feed me?”
Dinner. Damn. He actually hadn’t thought of that. After the way she’d sweetly submitted, he owed her a nice dinner and some serious cuddling. He owed her his care. He scrambled. “We’ll go into town. We can go to Trio and have a couple of beers.”
There was no way to miss the change that came over her. Her whole body stiffened, the joy leaving her eyes. What had he said?
“Or wine. I could get us a bottle of wine. I don’t know much about it, but Alexei probably does. He spent all that time in Europe and those people supposedly know their stuff.”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I don’t think Alexei was a very cosmopolitan European. He spent most of his time with the mob. He probably knows his vodka better than wine.”
“Then he can make you one of those fruity martinis like the apple ones.” He would buy her drinks all night if it got her to relax. Maybe she would start talking if he got her a little tipsy. A little liquor might loosen her up and give him a hint of the stress she was under. He would get her all relaxed and make love to her again, and then he would gently bring up the subject of what was giving her nightmares.
She shook her head. “No. I can’t go out tonight. I…I need to go check on Noah. He looked very upset when he left.”
She started out the door. James stared, his mouth hanging open. Was she serious? He’d just spent hours making love to her, and she was going to check on Noah?
He reached for his shirt, hauling it over his head. “Hope. You stay right here.”
She stopped at the doorway. “I’m just going next door. I need to rest. It’s been a long day.”
Yeah, it had been a long damn week. He’d lost his best friends, had to deal with the fact that his brother was back, and he’d finally acknowledged that he was in love. Fuck. He was in love with Hope. It had to be love since he’d never had this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach simply because a woman was leaving the room.
Usually it was a bit of a relief. He’d had female friends. He loved the women of the town, but not a one of them, not a single lover in his background, made him feel the way Hope did.
“We’re going to talk about it, Hope. You can walk away right now, but we’re going to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you. Tonight.” He was past done. He could feel walls going up between them. She had been completely open with him in bed, but now she was shutting down again, and he wasn’t going to let that happen. No way. “And don’t think you can bring Noah into this. I’m not going to let you use my brother to manipulate me.”
Hope’s eyes flared, a little spark coming into them. “Me? You think I’m using Noah to manipulate you?”
A flare of guilt gnawed at his gut, but he powered through it. “Why else would you get out of bed with me to go see him? We just settled this, Hope. You made your choice.”
“Choice?” Hope asked. “I had a choice?”
James wasn’t going to back down. “Yes. Me or Noah. Me, who you’ve known for over a year, or a man who just walked into your life and has a bad reputation for walking right back out.”
Those warm brown eyes pinned him. “Is that right? Well, it seems to me this amazing choice you’re giving me is between a man who ignored me for a year and a man who wanted me the minute he saw me. And he didn’t know I even lived in Bliss. Noah didn’t run away from me.”
“Yeah, well you just haven’t given him enough time.” Bitterness welled. She was going to choose Noah. She was going to choose Noah because he was smarter, more educated, more urbane. He’d gone to college and lived in New York City. He hadn’t spent his whole life dirty and sweaty.
Hope softened. “James, can we all just sit down and talk?”
Yeah, Noah could talk a blue streak, and all James could do was sit there and be the idiot cowboy. “Ain’t no reason to talk, baby. You want Noah, have at it.”
Hope’s fists clenched at her sides. “I didn’t say that. I said I wanted to talk to him. James, he’s your brother.”
“He’s no blood of mine.” Noah wanted to walk off with the girl. It was what he’d always done. “My family is buried on the north hill, and it’s going to stay that way. This ranch is the only thing that matters.”
He’d always known it deep down. It was the truth of his life. He’d had a vision of clarity years ago as he’d stood in the driveway and watched Noah drive off toward a future they should have shared. God, had he not forgiven his brother for that, either? Had he not forgiven him for going off to college?
And why should he? If the shoe had been on the other foot, he wouldn’t have left. James would have stayed and worked the ranch with Noah.
“James, that’s not true.” Hope had softened, stepping a bit closer.
James backed away. “What do you know about it, Hope? Do you have any sisters? You ever had one of them betray you over a lover?”
Her hand fluttered up as though she wanted to touch him, but she drew it back. “That’s not what happened. James, he was young and stupid. He made a terrible mistake but it doesn’t mean he didn’t love you.”
That just proved she didn’t know a damn thing. “You weren’t here. And I don’t care how young and stupid he was. He has to stand up for his actions. He can’t expect to just let the fact that he was a dumb kid excuse his behavior. I was a year older, and I did the right thing. I didn’t run away from my obligations. That kind of thing can’t be made right.”