Noah understood the underlying words. It didn’t matter now because she was gone. How had the last several years affected his brother? James had had to scratch and claw to keep the ranch afloat only to watch a fire take a good portion of his acreage. He’d had to watch their dad fade away. He’d had to make the difficult decision to sell half his land. Noah looked at his brother. He didn’t not care about Hope. He simply believed that everything would go wrong in the end.
Noah dragged a deep breath into his body. “I’m not going anywhere. I made a mistake by leaving in the first place. I knew it three days after I got married. I realized it wouldn’t work because she didn’t want me. She wanted someone she’d made up in her head.”
“She wanted your ten million dollars,” James pointed out.
“Yeah, well, she got it.”
There was a long pause before James finally spoke again. “Why the fuck should I believe you?”
Noah sank down to the dirt beside his brother. He might not be a Glen by birth, but now he realized this land was his birthright, too. He touched the grass beneath him. It was cool against his skin, but in the summer, sometimes the very ground radiated the heat of the sun. In the winter, it would be blanketed with snow and the world would look pristine and perfect for miles. The Circle G. His father had bled for this land. His father had found a home here and love. He’d found his other half, and then he’d been lucky enough to discover the woman who could complete him. He’d found it here. On this land.
“I won’t leave again because this is my home.” He felt it deep down. He was connected to this piece of earth. He was connected to his brother. “Because every minute I was away, I ached.”
“Then why the fuck did you leave? It seemed to me that you were always looking for a way out.”
Noah stared at his brother. “That’s not true.”
“You went to college fast enough.”
Fuck. They were back to that? “And I got through five years of school in three. I worked my ass off. I didn’t do anything but study. You seem to think I had some wild time in college while you were stuck here. I worked. I became a vet because this ranch needed one. Do you have any idea how hard it was to be your brother? I had to make a place for myself or I would be incidental. I wanted to matter to this place, to our family.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” James ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “You were the smart one. I was the one who couldn’t do anything but work a herd of cows.”
“Yes, that’s why there’s a shelf full of medals and trophies with your name on it. That’s why our parents kept a whole cabinet to show off the buckles you won.”
James frowned. “Great. I can keep my ass on a bull for a whole eight seconds. You got through college.”
He’d never dreamed his brother was jealous. “You would have, too.”
James shook his head. “Nah. It was for the best. I don’t need a damn degree to haul cow shit.”
Noah was at a loss. James did way more than shovel cow crap. “You run this whole ranch. That takes talent. Jamie, you can still go to college if you want to. You could get a business degree. Hell, you could do a bunch of it online. You don’t even have to stop working.”
James shook his head. “I can’t. I’m too old for that now. Just go away, Noah. I don’t need you hanging out around here.”
His brother was stubborn to the end. In the distance, he could hear a loud huff as one of the hands let Red out. The horse bucked, and the hand took a step back. He’d had a couple of carrots in his hand, but he tossed them away probably because he didn’t want to get his fingers bitten off.
“You’re like that horse, Jamie. You’re so scared that you won’t let anyone touch you anymore and I did that. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
James stared off in the distance, watching as Red snorted and kicked. “Why didn’t you call? You sit here and tell me how sorry you are and how sad you were at the time, but you never called me. Not once. I had to call you to tell you our dad died.”
Noah’s heart hurt because this was the part he didn’t want to admit. “I was ashamed. I didn’t love Ally. I loved the fact that she picked me. I was out of college, but I was still a jealous little boy. I was still trying to prove to someone, anyone, that I was as good as you.”
James looked at him, his mouth twisted in a frown. “No one ever did a damn thing to make you feel that way. I loved you. You were my brother.”
“And you were the mountain I never could climb.” Noah sighed. “It wasn’t you. You didn’t make me feel that way. You were the best damn brother I could have had. I did it. I was a jealous little shit, and when I woke up and realized what I had done, I couldn’t come home because I was too ashamed to face you.”
“Why now?”
“Because somewhere along the way I grew up,” Noah said, his words quiet. His muscles ached from the beating he’d taken, but there was a certain contentment that came with finally getting to explain himself. “I can’t let the mistake I made in the past keep me from what I want. I can’t let it keep me away from my home. And I won’t let it keep me away from Hope.”
“How could she lie like that?”
“How could you let her walk away?”
James took a long breath. “Because I guess I expected it.”
“Yes. Because it’s what I did. It’s what our parents did. Damn it, Jamie, the world can’t stay the same. We can wish for it, but it still burns down all around us. It still goes to shit, but isn’t it better to have someone to hold on to? You talk about how bad the last years of our parents’ lives were, but I don’t think they would have changed a minute of it. I don’t know what happens when we die, but I believe somehow, someway, they found their way back together. He wasn’t fading, Jamie. He was waiting. He was waiting to see them again.”
James’s head hit his hands and a strangled sound came out of his throat. “I love her. I tried not to, but I love her. I don’t think I can be enough.”
Noah put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “You aren’t. Don’t even try to be. Jamie, we started down this path a long time ago. I derailed us. I’m trying to get us back on track. I’m not enough for her. She deserves us both. We deserve the family we always wanted, but we’re going to have to fight to get it.”
“You don’t deserve shit, brother.” But it was said with a little laugh. James’s face came up. His eyes were red rimmed. “She didn’t tell me because she was afraid. If she’s married and she ran from him, then he’s bad. He’s going to try to hurt her. She’s scared of him.”
Finally, Noah could breathe again. “Yeah. I think we know why she’s been anxious. And I think he’s been stalking her. If Serena didn’t leave the flower, then it was him. Hope freaked out when she saw it. He’s been terrifying her.”
“Why go through the sheriff?”
Noah thought about what Cam Briggs had said. “He said this guy was making some serious accusations about her. We have to go after her. We can’t let this man take our woman.”
James got to his feet, offering Noah a hand. “You still know how to shoot?”
“Yeah, but I hope it doesn’t come to that. We need to talk to her, find out what’s going on.”
His brother’s jaw hardened, forming that stubborn line he knew so well. When James’s face went cold and his eyes settled into a predatory gaze, he was locked in. Nothing would stand in his way, Noah knew.
“You talk, brother. I’ll do what I do best. I’ll plow my way through.”
Noah had to run to keep up with him.
Hope forced herself not to look back. She was driving away from the Circle G. She was driving away from Noah and James and back into a nightmare.