“ And what do you mean,” he countered, “no good to anybody! Why hell, Jess, you're our number-one top field agent. That's the silliest thing I think I've heard outta you yet.”
“ Matisak's put me behind bars, don't you see that? I go between this compound and my apartment, from work to bed. I can't even go shopping without the Hardy-fucking-Boys looking on. Ever try on a dress with Bob Waite and Greg Thatcher looking on, Paul? And Sims! What a dull ass. Can't even play gin rummy because it runs counter to his notion of what's in the line of duty.”
He laughed at this. “No, can't say as I blame you for being frustrated, Jess.” He got a mental picture of Thatcher and Waite in a lady's dressing room, and this led to a grin.
“ Nothing funny about those yo-yos you've plastered to me, Paul, and I tell you, I'm through with this warped lifestyle- through. Hell, on weekends, I used to go into D.C., visit the Smithsonian or just walk the parks and smell the lilacs in bloom, but Waite and Thatcher've made it clear that there'll be no unnecessary risks. I feel like I'm living in a bottle, a goddamned prisoner of some kind of absurd war, and Quantico's become my cell and this… this… compound is getting the hell on my nerves. It's got to end.”
She tossed back her auburn hair, the long strands curling about her neck, and she went to the window to stare out at the same grounds and the same buildings she had been staring at for six months without letup.
“ We're doing everything we can, Jess.” Paul's response to her outburst came off sounding as lame to him as it did to her, making him frown.
“ I know that, Paul, and I appreciate it, but it appears that everything just isn't enough, doesn't it?”
“ I can… I can send you back to Hawaii to continue field work there, if you like. The hearings being held by the State Department to investigate our part in bringing Lopaka Kowona to justice are coming up soon.”
“ No, no… not Hawaii,” she said instantly. “When I go back to Hawaii, it won't be for any damned State Department hearings, you can believe that.” Jim Parry was there, and the idea of Matisak in her paradise-and he would stalk her there, as he would to the ends of the earth-made her almost physically ill. She had lost Otto Boutine to this maniac. The fiend would not get near Jim, ever. If the demon learned of their romantic involvement, he might easily target Jim just to hurt her. He was that sadistic.
“ New Orleans,” she firmly barked as she turned to face Zanek. She was as tall as he, her creamy skin taut and strained with her decision. “I want the New Orleans case.”
“ Come on, Jess, we've talked already about this. You can't seriously want to risk your-”
“ It's my goddamned life, Paul.”
“ You're in the Bureau, and that means it's also our goddamned life you're proposing to waste out there. This organization has invested a fortune in you, you realize, and-”
“ Oh, damnit, Paul, don't feed me that crap now. We've been through too damned much together for you to suddenly become J. Edgar on me.”
“ Hey, nobody does J. Edgar better'n me,” he joked.
“ I need a field assignment. I'm no good to anyone the way I am. I want the New Orleans case, this Queen of Hearts thing, okay? I can be effective there. I need to get back to work; I need to know I'm still effective, and I need to know I'm in charge of my life; that I run me, not Matisak.”
“ But that'd be suicidal.”
“ Do you understand me? You do, don't you? You'd hate being run around by a creep like this. Confess it. Say it. You wouldn't stand for it if it were you, would you?”
“ But Jess, New Orleans would mean opening yourself up to attack. He'll know you're there the moment tomorrow's papers hit the street.”
“ I'm willing to risk it; I'm willing to bait the bastard at this point, and if that doesn't make you salivate for his head on a platter, Paul, then maybe you'd best get out of this business.” She stomped about the room now like a caged animal, her pacing finally making his eyes follow her about. “Besides, you need Waite and Thatcher and Sims and all the others on more important duties. You can't continue to justify the outlay in man-hours to your superiors anymore. We both know that. All those taxpayer dollars so Thatch can stare through binoculars at my bedroom window? Come on, Paul, be reasonable. Come on, whataya say? Let's give Stephens his first choice.”
Zanek ran both hands through his thick mat of dark hair and shook his head. It was his turn to pace the room. “It's too damned risky, Jess. I care too much for you to knowingly put your life in danger.”
“ That's not what I want to hear from you, Paul!”
He drummed his fingers on his desk and finally bellowed, “Damnit, Jess, I don't know. I've been promising Kim… Dr. Desinor a shot, you know, to put her theories into practice.”
“ If that's all you're worried about, don't be. Just send us both-as a team. How better to determine if science and psi can work together?”
“ You're so damned competitive, Jess.”
“ You wouldn't have it any other way. So, what do you say?”
“ I can't make this decision without input from above. You know that, Jess.”
“ But they'll go along with your recommendation. I also know that.”
“ Do you also know you've talked me into a goddamned corner? I guess you do.”
She beamed, her eyes going wide. “Then you'll go to bat for me?”
He gave her a pretended angry glare. “No guarantees but one, Jess.”
“ What's that?”
“ You travel down there with a guard. At least two specially trained agents.”
“ No, not Thatch and Waite; please, no one, Paul. It'd only defeat us. Matisak won't tip his hand if he smells a trap, and no way can those bozos avoid being spotted.”
“ You either go with a guard, or you don't go.”
She breathed deeply, thinking that she could convince Santiva of the foolishness of this step later on. For now, she must allow Paul to play Marshal to her Saloon Girl.
“ Whatever,” she muttered. “But I want you to keep me posted on anything happening in Oklahoma,” she quickly added. “I can easily get there from New Orleans, if there's reason to.”
“ All right, then we're agreed. Now we just have to sell Santiva on the idea, and there's the little matter of selling the notion to Dr. Desinor as well.”
“ I thought you said she wanted to field-test her work? What's to sell?”
“ Let's just say she's not anxious to be proven wrong out of the gate, and now with you on board, she might be frightened off; besides, she's very selective about what cases she'll take on. Some, she says, leave her cold.”
“ I can imagine.”
“ You think what she does is a hoax?”
“ No, I didn't say that.”
“ What do you think of her work, honestly?”
“ The older I get, the longer I live, the more I see in this world… the more superstitious I get, I'm afraid to admit.”
“ But what Dr. Desinor does has nothing to do with superstition.”
“ I'm just speaking of my prejudices,” she continued, pacing the room again now. “And the older I get, the more sense I make of the old line that states there's more between heaven and earth than dreamt of in your little philosophy, or science, Jessica Coran. And”-she stopped short, seeing that he was concerned, that a crease had formed along his forehead-”and the older I get, Paul, the more limbs I crawl out on, saying things like, I think Paul Zanek's a man of vision for backing psychic detection in the agency, and-”
“ You've said that? To whom?”
“ And I also think you could take a great fall, Humpty-Dumpty, if she should fail, so I have to believe you're a courageous-type guy to back Desinor.”
He smiled at this. “I didn't know you'd formed an opinion. But as I said, Dr. Desinor could be uncomfortable with the idea of working in tandem with you at this stage. We'll have to break it to her gently, in the best possible manner.”
“ Well, if she's unwilling, then she's unwilling. But I'm going to New Orleans with or without her, you got that?”