Chase stared at his girlfriend. “What could possibly go wrong?” he asked, his voice a little hoarse. “When one mouse decides to evict another mouse?”
“Yeah, it’s a brave new world, isn’t it?” asked Odelia with a grin.
He nodded automatically, then shook his head. “Sometimes I feel as if I’ve landed on a different planet.”
“I’ll bet there’s plenty of other people that talk to their cats,” said Odelia as she took a seat next to Chase on the couch. “Only we haven’t met them yet.”
“Maybe you could start a Facebook group,” he suggested, only half in jest. “Or even a WhatsApp group.”
“Wouldn’t that be something?” said Odelia, directing a dreamy look at the ceiling. “If all the people who can talk to their cats got together, just imagine what we could do.”
“I’m not sure I want to imagine,” Chase murmured. The mouse stirred, and he scooted a little further away from the critter. “I think it’s waking up,” he said.
“Max!” Odelia bellowed. “Can you tell Elsa I’ve got the paperwork ready?!”
Max came trotting up, in through the pet flap, and looking decidedly antsy, Chase thought.
The big orange cat meowed something, and Odelia meowed right back. For a moment, they ‘talked’ back and forth like that, until finally Max gently shook the mouse. The tiny creature woke up, yawned and stretched. Odelia handed it the piece of paper, she scanned it quickly and finally nodded. Actually nodded!
There was more meowing after that, but Chase felt he’d had all the animal interaction he could stand for one evening, so he got up from the couch and decided to pay a visit to his future father-in-law next door.
Tex was seated on his porch, staring into the distance with a strange look on his face. When Chase came walking up, he started. “Oh, hey, Chase,” he said.
“Hey, Dad,” said Chase, and Tex grimaced. Tex still wasn’t used to Chase calling him Dad. “So how are things with the gnomes?”
“Oh, don’t ask,” said Tex with a frown. “I made a damn fool of myself by accusing Ted of being a thief. Turns out there’s actual professional gnome thieves on the prowl. We almost caught them at it, but they managed to skedaddle.”
“Gnome thieves, huh? I didn’t even know that was a thing.”
“Yeah, looks like.”
Chase joined Tex on the porch swing and for a moment neither man spoke.
“So do you want me to look into this theft?” asked Chase finally. It would be a nice change from the double homicide he was investigating.
“No, that’s all right,” said Tex. “Ted doesn’t want to involve the police. So he’s asked Vesta instead.”
Chase scoffed a little. “Vesta? I didn’t know she was a detective.”
“Her and Scarlett both. They’re starting a neighborhood watch, and they’re very eager to make their mark.”
Chase groaned. “Oh, dear.”
“Say that again.” Tex smiled and clapped his son-in-law on the knee. “You can still back out, son. It’s not too late.”
“Not a chance in hell, Dad. I’m in this for the long haul.”
Tex gave him a sideways glance. “Yeah, I think you are. More power to you. It’s not easy negotiating the family ties in this particular family.”
“I think I can handle it. I just saw Odelia negotiate with a mouse, so I have a feeling I’m just about ready for anything.”
The doctor laughed. “A mouse?”
“Yeah, apparently Max has recruited a mouse to evict the other mice that have taken over our basement. But first Odelia had to sign a document absolving it of all responsibility in case anything goes wrong with the eviction.” He shook his head. “I swear sometimes I feel like Alice in Wonderland.”
“You’ll get used to it. In fact I think you’re handling yourself amazingly well. I remember when Marge told me about the cat thing. I thought she was pulling my leg, until I saw Vesta scolding a cat about something. It took me a long time to get over my initial shock.”
“Vesta is an acquired taste,” Chase agreed.
They both stared out across the backyard, where Tex’s gnomes were once again dotting the landscape and spreading their particular brand of apple-cheeked delight.
Suddenly, from behind a bush near the back of the yard, Vesta popped up, immediately followed by Scarlett. Moments later, they sank out of sight again.
Tex heaved a deep sigh. “Like I said, you can still back out now, son.”
Chase swallowed, then said, “Nope.”
Tex patted him on the shoulder. “Brave man.”
Chapter 33
I really wanted to be there when Elsa went toe to toe with Hector and Helga, but she’d insisted it was best if she dealt with them singlepawedly and without feline interference, so after setting out some more snacks so she could keep her strength up ahead of the epic battle of the mice, all cats left the house.
It probably was for the best, for it had become clear to me that things might just turn ugly, and I simply hate bloodshed of any kind. Perhaps a little strange for a pet detective but there you have it. I get squeamish at the sight of blood, and Elsa looked as if she was ready to get into a real tussle with her headstrong fellow mice.
As it happens Vesta and Scarlett had asked us to join them on a very important mission, so everything worked out fine. By the time we returned from the mission, the house would finally be mouse-free, apart from Elsa, and I was looking forward to that.
“What do you want us to do?” asked Harriet as we got into Gran’s car.
“We’re going to catch these gnome thieves once and for all,” said Gran. “And since you guys can outrun the rest of us, I want you to jump them when you get the chance, and make them think twice about making fools out of the gnome owners of this town.”
“You only have to ask,” said Harriet, as she sheathed and unsheathed her claws with relish. Even though she balks at going mano a mano with a family of mice, Harriet has no trouble drawing blood when it comes to the more burglarious element of society.
The four of us were all ensconced on the backseat of Gran’s red Peugeot, while she took the wheel, with Scarlett handling navigation duties. Even though the car was outfitted with GPS, Gran preferred to do things the old-fashioned way.
“So just to bring you guys up to speed,” said Gran, and Scarlett giggled. Gran frowned at her friend. “What?”
“I’m sorry,” said Scarlett. “I’m still not used to you talking to your cats like that. It sounds so funny!”
“Well, maybe I’ll teach you,” said Gran.
“Oh, would you?” asked Scarlett excitedly.
“I was kidding. Talking to cats is one of those things you have to be born with. And now are you going to let me finish or what?”
Scarlett rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to be nasty about it. I was just saying—”
“I know what you were saying, and I’m saying you can’t always get what you want. I can talk to cats and you can’t and you’re just going to have to live with that.”
Scarlett turned in her seat. “You know what? If you’re going to be like this, I don’t even want to go on a stakeout with you. Goodbye.” And with these words, she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door to get out.
“Oh, don’t be like that, Scarlett,” said Gran. “I was just kidding.”
“I don’t think you were.”
“All right, I wasn’t. Now are you going to make a big deal out of it?”
Scarlett pursed her lips. “I might.”
“Well, don’t. We’re in this together, you and me. And we gotta see this through. So what do you say? Truce?”
Scarlett continued fuming for a moment, but then shrugged and said, “Truce,” and closed the door again. “You can be such a jerk sometimes, you know that, Vesta?”
“Yeah, I know. But so can you.”
Scarlett laughed an incredulous laugh. “Are you calling me a jerk?”
“You just called me a jerk!”