“And what does that have to do with anything?” asked Harriet.
“I have religion on my side,” Shanille said, giving Harriet a supercilious look. “And that’s a lot more than I can say about you.”
And with these words, she passed by a furious-looking Harriet and stepped into the basement.
Brutus followed from a distance, and Harriet brought up the rear, with Fifi deciding to occupy the top step, giving her a fighting chance to make a run for it in case things turned ugly.
“What are they called again?” asked Shanille once they were down in the basement.
“Helga and Hector,” Brutus supplied helpfully.
“Hector? Helga? A word, please?” said Shanille briskly.
Immediately the mouse couple appeared, as did about a hundred of their offspring, taking Shanille by surprise.
“Oh, my,” she said as she saw the sea of mice surrounding them.
“Who are you?” asked Hector, nibbling from a piece of cheese Brutus was pretty sure had been in the fridge only an hour ago.
“My name is Shanille, and I wanted to have a little chat with you. From one of God’s creatures to another, and with the blessing of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who loves us all unconditionally and in equal measure.”
Hector frowned and turned to Brutus. “What is she talking about?”
“Shanille is Father Reilly’s cat,” Brutus explained. “And she has an important message for you.”
“Well, speak up,” said Helga. “I don’t have all day.”
“I have a proposition for you all,” said Shanille, taking a seat and carefully draping her tail around her buttocks. She didn’t look completely at ease, Brutus thought, and he could see why. More mice had appeared and Hector and Helga’s family was now all present and accounted for, filling the basement. In fact he couldn’t see the floor through the ocean of gray.
“What proposition?” asked Helga suspiciously.
“A way for all of you to live together in perfect harmony,” said Shanille pleasantly. “As you know, this home belongs to Odelia, and she has been so kind as to invite a number of cats to live with her. What she didn’t do is invite you lovely mice to share her home. But being the wonderful, God-fearing woman that she is, she was so gracious to let you stay here regardless. But through no fault of your own, this arrangement isn’t, um, convenient for her anymore. She appreciates you, and wants you to know she loves all creatures, great and small, just like the good Lord does, but she now suggests you and your family relocate to another, more suitable location, and leave her and my fellow felines the house.”
There was a moment of silence, then raucous laughter filled the air, as it rose up from two hundred throats.
“You must be crazy!” cried Hector loudly, slapping his tiny thighs with mirth.
“Yeah, you’re one big crazy cat if you think we’re going to accept such an arrangement,” chimed in his wife.
“I have a better idea,” said Hector, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Why don’t you move to a more suitable location and we’ll take the entire house. How about that, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s our proposition,” said Helga.
“Take it or leave it!”
“Why you little brutes,” Shanille growled, suddenly a lot less kindly than before. “You should be ashamed of yourselves. You barge in here and think you can simply take over the house? Shame on you!”
“Oh, get lost,” said Hector, making a throwaway gesture with his paw.
“Yeah, take a hike, sister,” said Helga, and in a matter of seconds the basement was empty again, the mice flowing into those little holes with unparalleled speed and coordination.
Shanille was gently fuming, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “Of all the impertinent, annoying, disgraceful…” she began.
“See what we’re up against?” asked Brutus.
Harriet gently placed an arm around Shanille’s shoulder. “You know what you should do, Shanille?” she asked.
“What?” grunted the choir director.
“Say a little prayer,” said Harriet sweetly. “I’m sure it’ll make all the difference.”
“Oh, go to hell,” growled Shanille, and was off.
Chapter 26
Three people were sitting in Chief Alec’s office and none of them looked particularly happy. There was Alec himself, of course, his deputy Chase Kingsley, and also Alec’s niece Odelia, who was pretty much part of the team.
“Let’s review the facts as we know them,” said Alec as he dragged a weary hand through what few hairs remained on his scalp.
Odelia’s uncle had called the meeting because of his dissatisfaction with the investigation, as he called it. He had a very good suspect in jail, who looked perfect for the two murders, but there were several small things that made him uneasy in his mind.
“First off, the murder of Heather Gallop. No phone was found, either on her person, or in her hotel room, and yet she’d called Dan and set up an appointment.”
“Unless Dan stole her phone,” Odelia offered.
“We would have found it,” said Alec. “We searched both his office and his house from top to bottom and found nothing out of the ordinary, except a ridiculous number of gnomes, too many for a grown man to feel comfortable collecting, but that’s neither here nor there.”
“My dad collects gnomes,” Odelia pointed out. “And he’s not afraid to admit it.”
“The UPS guy, who wasn’t a UPS guy,” Alec continued. “Highly suspicious if you ask me, as was the phone call to lure Dan out of his office.”
“Presumably to give the killer, dressed as a UPS guy, enough time to sneak into his office and murder Heather,” said Chase.
“Two. Jack Warner’s murder. Jack told me only last night that he had important information to share, and wanted me to meet him today. Only he never made it, because he was killed. What information? And was he killed because of it? Also, we haven’t found Jack’s phone yet, which his wife says he always carried on his person.”
“And Dan didn’t have this phone either,” said Odelia.
“Unless he dumped it,” Chase said. “On his way out of the hotel.”
Police had searched high and low for that phone, though, and hadn’t found it. So either Dan was the most cunning killer they’d ever met, or he wasn’t Jack’s killer at all, and had been framed. Again. Odelia was inclined to believe the latter, while her uncle and Chase were inclined to believe Dan wasn’t as innocent as he made out to be.
Uncle Alec leaned forward. “Look, “ he said, addressing his niece, “the only evidence about this UPS guy is a cat. A cat who could be mistaken.”
“I don’t think Buster is mistaken,” said Odelia.
Uncle Alec heaved a sigh. “I don’t believe I’m asking this, but what do you know about this Buster? In your opinion, is he a reliable witness?”
“He’s one of Max’s main sources of information. Buster belongs to Fido Siniawski, and as a barber Fido manages to extract more confessions, confidences and gossip from people than any other person in town. And Buster is right there to listen to all of it. So you might say he’s one of the best-informed cats in Hampton Cove. So yes, if Buster says he saw a UPS man enter the office, you can bet that he did.”
Uncle Alec sat back in his chair, which creaked as he shifted his weight. In spite of the diet his new girlfriend had put him on, he still had a long way to go. “You’re putting me in a very tough spot here, honey,” he said finally. “I have everything I need to finger your boss as the killer, except for these loose ends.”
“We could try to find this UPS guy,” Chase suggested. “I mean, is it possible that Buster saw a man who looked like a UPS guy but wasn’t?”
“He says he was wearing the brown uniform with the letters UPS,” said Odelia.
Uncle Alec rubbed his face. He looked haggard. When an investigation wasn’t going well, he often looked as if he’d slept in his clothes and hadn’t had taken a shower in days.