“If Clarice can do it,” said Harriet, referring to a feral friend of ours, “we can.”
“Absolutely,” said Brutus with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.
“What are you guys going on about?” asked Gran. “What’s all this nonsense of you living out of dumpsters when you’ve got a perfectly fine home? Don’t we feed you enough? Is that it?”
“It won’t be our home much longer, though, will it?” I said.
“Yeah, Odelia is going to take us to the shelter and leave us there,” said Dooley.
“Where we’ll be adopted by single-pet parents who’ll split us up,” said Harriet.
“And then we’ll have to feed on rats,” said Brutus morosely. “And mice and… rats.”
“What a load of nonsense,” said Gran. “Where did you get this crazy idea from?”
“Well, Windex is there now, isn’t she?” I said. “And everyone knows that people consider dogs much better pets for families with babies. They’re man’s best friend.”
“It’s our claws,” Dooley said. “In fact I heard Chase ask Odelia about declawing.”
“Declawing!” Gran cried, causing the others to all regard her with alarm.
“What’s going on?” asked Scarlett.
“The cats think Odelia and Chase want to chuck them out,” said Gran, “because their claws might be dangerous to the baby, and to replace them with Windex.”
“Nonsense,” said Marge firmly. “Besides, it’s not up to Odelia or Chase to decide. And if they do want to keep the cats away from the baby you can all move in with us for a while.”
“With me, you mean,” said Gran.
“Or they could move in with me,” Scarlett suggested.
“Or with me,” Charlene said with a shrug. “I happen to like cats.”
To say we were all moved to tears by this outpouring of hospitality would be an understatement. Hugs followed, and even Dooley appeared appeased by this denouement. The only one who seemed unaffected was Tex, who was reading something on his phone.“What did you say the name of this dog is, Vesta?” he asked suddenly.
“Windex. Why?”
“Says here that Windex’s owner has been looking for him.”
“Her,” Gran corrected her son-in-law. “What do you mean, looking for her?”
“Just what it says in the paper. ‘The daughter of Mrs. Eileen Dobson, who was recently admitted to Cherryvale Nursing Home, has launched an appeal to find her mother’s beloved dog Windex. The day Mrs. Dobson was admitted, Windex was accidentally left behind in the apartment they shared. By the time Mrs. Dobson’s daughter returned to fetch the dog, she was gone. Mrs. Dobson misses Windex very much, and has offered a reward for her safe return.’” He looked up. “I thought you said you got her from the shelter?”
“I did. They said her owner had gone to a nursing home where pets aren’t allowed, so she had to get rid of her.”
“Looks like you were fed some wrong information, Vesta,” said Charlene.
“Oh, hell and damnation,” said Gran. “And now the dog has vanished!”
Just then, Chase appeared in the door. He was positively beaming.“It’s a girl!” he cried.
As one person, the whole family rose to their feet to crowd around the young father.“Can we see her?” asked Marge.
“Not yet. I’ll let you know when you can,” he assured us.
Tex cleared his throat.“So what’s the name of my granddaughter?”
Chase gave him a sheepish look.“We haven’t decided yet, Dad. Though we were thinking about calling her Ida.”
Tex’s face clouded. Ida was the name of his least favorite patient.
“Just kidding, Dad!” said Chase, clapping the other man on the back, almost causing him to take a tumble. “And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if I can hold my daughter!”
Chapter 24
It took a while, but finally we were all invited to partake in the happy occasion. Chase lifted us all up in turn to take a look, and what we saw was Odelia, looking tired but happy, with a tiny human in her arms. In fact the human looked so small it took me a moment to identify it as human at all. It was wrinkly, red, tiny and generally pretty ugly.
Of course I didn’t voice this sentiment, but when finally we had all taken our turn, and were back on the floor, Harriet whispered, “I didn’t know that babies were so ugly.”
“I know,” I said. “And why is it so small?”
“And why are its eyes closed?” asked Dooley.
“And why is so red and scaly?” Brutus grumbled.
Generally it didn’t look like anything to be afraid of, though. Not like the formidable enemy Dooley had made it out to be. Satan’s spawn it most certainly was not, unless Satan deliberately makes its spawn look as vulnerable and fragile as possible, which is unlikely.
“It does have something, though, doesn’t it?” I said finally. “Thatje ne sais quoi?”
“I don’t know about that, but it does look sort of cute,” said Harriet.
“And Odelia looks very happy,” said Dooley. “So maybe we’ll be all right.”
“Of course we’ll be all right,” said Brutus. “Didn’t you hear what Marge said?”
All in all, I have to say I felt more relaxed and happy than I had in days. And judging from the soft words spoken by the humans in the room, they were all pretty happy, too. So if this is what it was like when a new human arrived into this world, I was beginning to see why they all enjoyed the prospect so much. It truly was a source of joy. Ugly, but joyful.
Odelia was going to stay at the hospital for a few days, and so was the baby. Chase would stay put while the rest of us all got to go home, and tomorrow was another day.
When we arrived home, the Pooles remembered their mission to organize a search for Windex, and so we were all recruited to assist in the search.
“Max and Dooley, you take that side,” said Harriet, adopting the persona of fearless leader, “and Brutus and I will go that way. We have to find her, you guys. We have to bring her home!”
“Yes, sir!” Dooley said, and would have saluted if he’d known how.
Harriet took off with Brutus to scour the landscape for a sign of Eileen Dobson’s precious little doggie, and so did Dooley and me.
And as we traipsed along the sidewalk in the direction indicated, my friend had a confession to make.“I’m sorry about all that Satan’s spawn business, Max. Looks like I overreacted.”
“And I’m sorry about the shelter business,” I returned. “I also overreacted.”
We shared a smile.“So looks like we’ll be fine after all.”
“Yeah, looks like it,” I agreed. “Now all we have to do is find Windex and await Odelia’s return with the baby.”
“Do you really think they’ll call her Ida?”
“Somehow I doubt it.”
“They could call her Harriet. Nice name, Harriet.”
“We already have a Harriet in the family, Dooley.”
“So we could call her Harriet 2. And then when they have another baby we’ll call her Harriet 3. And so on. Or we could even call them H2 and H3. That way it’s easier for Odelia.” He suddenly tooted in my ear, “Dinner is ready, H2 and H3! See? Convenient.”
“I wonder where Windex could have gone off to,” I said, looking behind a hedge.
“Maybe she went looking for her human?”
“If that were true, she would be there right now, and Mrs. Dobson’s daughter wouldn’t have launched that appeal.”
“Or maybe she returned to the shelter, hoping to find her human there?”
“Possible,” I admitted. “But unlikely. I mean, she seemed happy enough to be with us last night. Even excited about cat choir and everything.”
“Yeah, the life and soul of the party.”
“Harriet and Brutus shouldn’t have left her all by herself.”
“We shouldn’t have left her all by herself,” Dooley said.
Too true, of course. And we’d just doubled back, thinking maybe to take a look behind the house instead, when I thought I heard Windex’s voice. I pricked up my ears, and sure enough it was her. The sound seemed to be coming from the Trappers, Tex and Marge’s next-door neighbors. And after we’d wended our way in that direction, we came upon a comforting sight: there she was, Windex, freely shooting the breeze with the Trappers’ sheepdog Rufus and Odelia’s neighbor’s Yorkie Fifi. The three dogs were lying on the lawn in Ted and Marcie’s backyard, and obviously having a good time.