As we were walking along the street, neatly keeping to the sidewalk as befitting a couple of pedestrians such as ourselves, Dooley said,“We should have known that the arrival of the baby would change everything, Max.”
“You can’t blame the Boggles on Grace, Dooley.”
“But I do! If Grace hadn’t arrived, Odelia would still be working as a reporter, and she would be far too busy to open a bed and breakfast in the sky.”
“I’m sure the air in Airbnb doesn’t actually refer to the sky, Dooley,” I reiterated a point we’d discussed before.
“And if Grace hadn’t come into our lives Marge and Tex and Gran wouldn’t be so desperate to make money that they’re going to turn our home into a resort.”
Which actually made me wonder how they were going to accomplish such a feat. As far as I know—and I know I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination—these resorts need a lot of space, especially when they’re going to add in a hotel and all the necessary amenities your spa-going person likes to see.
“Look, Grace is here to stay, Dooley, and frankly I think adding a baby to the mix certainly has its benefits.”
“Like what?” asked Dooley as we neatly sidestepped a sizable sampling of dog excrement that some overzealous canine had left behind and their human had failed to remove.
“Like… well… um… Oh, I have it. Odelia looks a lot happier, doesn’t she?”
“She looks like a zombie, Max, and so does Chase.”
“Well, yes, but underneath that tiredness I’m sure they’re both very happy.”
“They don’t look happy. They look like they haven’t slept in weeks.”
Probably they hadn’t, that much was true.
“Okay, so these first couple of weeks and months are tough, but when Grace starts sleeping through the night, I’m sure their lives will be much enriched.”
“I’ve heard that’s when the trouble starts,” said my friend, who’d suddenly morphed into a sort of prophet of doom and gloom. “When they start to walk. That’s when you have to watch out. They will escape any chance they get, and you have to watch them like a hawk. And then when they start teething it’s even worse. You’ve got a standing appointment with the pediatrician, and then later, when they enter their teens you’ve got a standing appointment with a shrink. All in all, Max, I think kids should come with a health warning, just like cigarettes.”
“I think you’re looking at this all wrong, Dooley. Kids are fun! Kids are a source of great joy and happiness! Okay, so it’s not always easy, but generally humans seem to enjoy having kids.”
“They enjoy making kids, not having them.”
I stared at my friend.“Who told you that?”
He looked bashful for a moment.“I overheard Gran tell her friend Scarlett once. Though I don’t actually know what it means. It does sound nice, doesn’t it?”
“It certainly sounds like something Gran would say,” I agreed. “Look, Dooley. Babies aren’t like a pair of shoes you buy online: you can’t return them to sender. So we just have to accept that she’s here and decide to make the best of things.”
He sighed deeply.“I just hope Charlene won’t have a baby with Uncle Alec.”
It was a point I hadn’t yet given any thought to. “How old is Charlene?” I asked.
“Isn’t she the same age as Marge and Tex?”
I nodded thoughtfully.“Forty-eight. It’s possible, I guess, though unlikely.”
“You mean her clock is broken?”
“Her clock? What clock?”
“Odelia once told her mom that she heard her clock ticking and that’s how she knew she had to have a baby. I asked her what clock this was, cause I couldn’t see a clock, but she just laughed and patted me on the head.”
“I think she was referring to her biological clock, Dooley.”
“So where does she keep this biological clock? And how come no one else can hear it ticking?”
“Um…” Lucky for me we’d arrived in town, and the hustle and bustle of traffic distracted my friend to some extent. Soon we arrived at the General Store, where Kingman holds forth. Kingman belongs to Wilbur Vickery, who owns the General Store, and is a dear, dear friend of ours. He’s very large and very chatty and is the cat to go to when you’re dealing with an issue, great or small, since he knows all, or at least he thinks he does and so does everyone else in town, including me.
“Hiya, fellas,” he said when he saw us approach, deftly avoiding being trampled on by passersby and his human’s customers. “How are things?”
“Things are… interesting,” I said.
“We’re moving out,” Dooley announced without preamble. “We’re going to live with Charlene Butterwick from now on.”
Kingman’s eyebrows shot up. “Moving out? But why?”
“Odelia had a baby and also, she has started a bed and breakfast in the sky,” Dooley explained, “and so she doesn’t have time for us anymore. And Marge and Tex are opening a wellness resort and are going to turn their house into a hotel, their backyard into a pool and their garden house into a spa. So they won’t have time for us anymore either.”
“I’m sure you’re exaggerating,” said Kingman with a frown of concern.
“No, we’re not,” said Dooley. “They gave all of our food to the dogs, and we haven’t had anything to eat since last night.”
“Oh, you poor dears!” Kingman exclaimed. “Here, tuck right in!” He was pointing to a large bowl, filled to the brim with the good stuff. Kingman’s human gets his kibble delivered in bulk, you see, and always has plenty to spare.
We didn’t need to be told twice, and soon were snacking away to our heart’s content. I have to say it hit the spot, and before long we’d managed to empty the bowl. On top of that an old lady who saw us digging in like a couple of famished scavengers took pity on our plight, and opened a can of sardines she’d bought. Now Odelia has often told us not to accept candy from strangers, but A) sardines aren’t candy and B) we really were pretty starved at that point.
“So tell me all about what’s going on,” said Kingman once we’d finished our meal. “Odelia is starting a bed and breakfast?”
I nodded, licking my lips for those precious last crumbs.“Her first guests are a couple named the Boggles. He’s a Prime Minister in England, apparently.”
“And they have two horrible dogs who eat our food, sleep on our blanket, and treat us like surfers,” Dooley supplied.
“I think Dooley means servants,” I clarified.
“I’ve heard of this Boggle character,” said Kingman. “Isn’t he involved in some kind of scandal?”
“Possibly,” I admitted.
“I saw something about him being removed from office for some reason.”
“Removed from office? You mean he’s not the Prime Minister anymore?”
“No, I don’t think so. I didn’t pay a lot of attention, but I seem to remember he took a trip to some private island resort belonging to some billionaire and forgot to declare it as an expense and some people got very upset—possibly his accountant or his taxman or both. At any rate, they replaced him with some other dude or dudette. Plenty of staff turnover in those top jobs, apparently. Not like with our president, who usually manages to stick around for the full four years.”
I can tell you that this news wasn’t received with perfect equanimity. Dooley and I shared a look of dismay.
“Max!” Dooley cried. “If Mr. Boggle is out of a job, that means he’s never going to leave! He’ll stay with us forever and ever and ever!”
CHAPTER 16
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Odelia arrived back at the house with bags full of purchased goods, and had been thinking about the menu Janine had said she and John wanted to adhere to. She wondered how she was ever going to be able to please the demanding couple since she wasn’t exactly a Julia Child or Martha Stewart in the kitchen. She staggered in with the bags, and hoped her mom and Grace were all right. She hated to impose on her mother, but the arrival of the Boggles was an emergency, and she couldn’t very well let Tessa’s good friends down in their hour of need.