“I’m honored that you would think of me to take care of this little problem for you,” said Omar.
“Scarlett said you were the man to see. I thought of taking everything to my bank, but she said that wasn’t a good idea.”
“Banks have an obligation to report any money deposited into an account over a certain amount. If you were to take your husband’s suitcases into a branch of your bank it would raise all kinds of red flags, and the police would be all over you in a matter of minutes.”
“But you won’t tell them, right? After all, my dear Bruce earned that money fair and square. It’s not his fault that the government thinks crystal meth shouldn’t be allowed. I mean, all he did was supply a product and fulfill a need. In fact the man was a saint.”
“Absolutely,” said Omar severely. “So when were you thinking about making your… investment?”
“I brought one suitcase with me,” said Gran, and hefted the suitcase onto Omar’s desk. It was big and bulky and the insurance man eyed it eagerly.
“Well, let’s open her up, shall we?” he suggested.
Gran adjusted the dials for the security locks and popped the clasps. Omar unzipped the monstrosity and stood eyeing the contents of the suitcase with eyes glimmering with excitement.“Now will you look at that,” he murmured, rubbing his hands with glee.
“He looks like a man who’s just found treasure,” said Brutus.
“He does indeed,” said Harriet.
“Do you think you’ll be able to handle such a big investment?” asked Gran.
“Oh, absolutely,” said Omar. “The Morro& Wissinski bitcoin fund is exactly the thing you need, Mrs. Moll. And in fact if you’d like me to fetch your other suitcases for you, I’d be more than happy to drop by this evening and pick them up.”
“Let’s first make this deposit,” said Gran, “and see how it goes.”
“Of course. I’ll start on the paperwork, shall I? And in the meantime here’s a brochure explaining the ins and outs of our bitcoin fund.”
And as he handed Gran a glossy brochure, he started filling out the paperwork for the transfer of a hundred thousand dollars in drug money to the Morro& Wissinski bitcoin fund.
“Looks like he took the bait,” said Harriet happily.
“Now let’s hope he takes it all the way,” said Brutus.
Chapter 37
That night we were staking out Omar Wissinski’s place, and frankly I was feeling a little crowded. There were four humans in the car, and four cats, and even though Chase’s squad car is roomy, it isn’t as roomy as all that.
“You really should buy yourself a bigger car, Chase,” said Gran as she shuffled about uncomfortably. “Especially now with the baby coming, you’re going to want to get a family car. A nice big Volvo.”
Chase directed a look of distaste at her through the rearview mirror.“Never in my life am I going to buy a Volvo.”
“Why not?” asked Gran. “I like Volvo. Big and spacious, and very, very safe.”
“They do get good reviews, babe,” said Odelia.
“I don’t care. I’m not buying a Volvo.”
“And why is that?” asked Scarlett.
“Because I don’t want to be the laughingstock of the precinct, that’s why!”
“Only idiots would laugh at a man who drives a Volvo,” said Gran. “Besides, what’s more important: the opinion of your colleagues, or the safety of your family?”
“Well, if you put it that way…” Chase grumbled.
“I think a Volvo station wagon is the way to go,” said Scarlett. “And a bright color, so it stands out in traffic. It’s much safer that way, you know. Better than gray or dark blue.”
“So a bright yellow Volvo station wagon it is,” said Gran.
“God, no,” said Chase, much to the others’ amusement.
“Why do babies need big cars?” asked Dooley. “I thought they were small?”
“Babies are small to begin with,” said Harriet. “But they grow very quickly.”
“And also, nobody stops with one baby,” said Brutus. “Soon there’s two, then three, and before you know it, there are four or five or six.”
“Six babies!” Dooley cried. “But there’s no space in the house for six kids!”
“Brutus is just kidding,” I said. “I don’t think Odelia and Chase are ready for six kids.”
“Let’s start with just the one,” said Odelia, who’d overheard our conversation.
“So when is the baby arriving, exactly?” asked Dooley nervously.
“Nine months,” I said. “Though now it’s probably a little less than nine months.”
“Nine months,” Dooley murmured. “That’s still a long time, isn’t it, Max?”
“Oh, absolutely. Nine months is like an eternity. Plenty of time for you to get ready.”
“Ready? Why do I have to get ready?” he asked in panicky tones. “Is something terrible going to happen when that baby arrives? Are we going to get kicked out of the house!”
“No, of course not!” said Harriet. “What Max means to say is that you have to get ready psychologically. Get used to the idea of a third person living in the same house with us.”
“A very tiny person,” said Brutus. “So tiny you’ll hardly notice it.”
“Oh, we will notice it,” said Harriet. “Babies might be small, but they take up a lot of space—figuratively speaking. For one thing, they’re very, very loud.”
“Some babies are loud,” I said. “Others are very, very quiet.”
“Let’s hope we get a quiet baby,” said Dooley. He thought for a moment. “If it’s loud, can we return it and get a quiet one instead?”
“I’m afraid not, Dooley,” I said. “You can’t return a baby once you have it.”
“Too bad,” said my friend. “There should be a return policy for babies.”
“Now wouldn’t that be a thing,” said Gran with a sigh. I had the impression she would have returned her son if she’d had the opportunity.
“Quiet, you guys,” said Scarlett. “Look, there’s movement.”
There was definitely movement across the street. Omar, who’d arrived in his own car, a Toyota Corolla, now appeared at the door, looked left and right, then hurried over to his car, drove it into his garage, and quickly closed the garage door again.
“Showtime,” Chase grunted, and got out of the car.
“Let’s go!” said Gran excitedly.
“No, you stay here,” said Chase, and made to close the door.
“Are you kidding me? I’m going,” said Gran.
“It’s not safe, Vesta,” said the stalwart cop.
“It’s my money!”
“It’s not your money, Gran,” said Odelia.
“Oh, but it is. Or at least Bruce’s money. The money he made selling crystal meth.”
“There is no Bruce!” Scarlett reminded Gran. “It’s just a ruse, Vesta!”
“I don’t care. It’s my money, and I’m not letting it out of my sight.”
“Oh, all right,” said Chase. “But you keep out of sight, will you?”
“I’m going to be invisible,” said Gran, ducking down low as she exited the vehicle.
Scarlett and Odelia now made out to exit the car.
“You two better stay put,” said Chase.
“I’m coming,” Scarlett stated decidedly.
“Too right you are,” said Gran. “We’re the neighborhood watch, after all.”
“Best you stay here,” said Chase, addressing his wife. “With the baby…”
“Are you kidding me?” said Odelia. “I’m not staying in the car.”
“But…”
“Is this how it’s going to be from now on? Cause if it is, I’ll tell you right now, mister, that you’re very much mistaken!”
“Oh, fine!” said Chase, and held the door open for his lady love, then helped her out as if she was an invalid. Odelia slapped his hand away, and Chase gave her a nice eyeroll.
Before he could close the door, however, four cats also walked out, causing the big cop to groan in dismay.“This isn’t a sting operation,” he lamented. “This is a family trip!”