He frowned as he took a closer look at that piece of blade Vesta had shoved under his nose. It looked very sharp indeed. “That thing cut me?” he asked.
“Yes, it did,” said Vesta. “You’re one lucky dude. This could have been your noggin,” she added, pressing an antiseptic-soaked cotton ball to his ear and making him wince.
He scrambled into a sitting position and surveyed the scene: there the lawnmower was, now minus a part of its blade, and there the cat contingent sat, all eyeing him piteously. And next to him, his family: Marge, Vesta, Odelia and… his son Dudley.
“So I’m not going to die?” he asked finally.
“No, you’re not!” said Odelia, and threw herself into his arms.
“Oh, you silly, silly man,” said Vesta, but she was smiling as she said it.
“I don’t get it,” said Marge. “It’s been one accident after another. First Ma falling down the stairs, then me electrocuting myself, and now this. What’s going on?”
“And don’t forget about my car breaking down,” said Odelia. “Or the cats almost being burned alive yesterday.”
“That was no accident,” said Vesta.
“It’s my fault,” said Dudley suddenly, looking rueful. “Since I arrived in this family accidents started to happen.”
“Oh, nonsense,” said Tex, now pressing the cotton ball to his own ear. “Like Vesta said, that lawnmower was going to break down sooner or later, and that coffeemaker has seen better days, too, as has that old pickup of yours, Odelia. And as far as that runner is concerned, I screwed that thing into place myself… fifteen years ago!”
“We probably should replace it,” said Marge, giving her mother an apologetic look.
“I’m just glad you guys are fine,” said Odelia. “And accidents happen, Dudley,” she added. “It’s not your fault.” She smiled at her brother, and it warmed Tex’s heart to see both of his kids getting along so well. It’s just the kind of thing a loving father likes to see.
“Let’s just hope this was the last of the accidents,” said Vesta. “I’m a tough old girl, but even I didn’t enjoy tumbling down those stairs.”
They all laughed at that, relief making them a little giddy, and even Tex was laughing along. And then Dudley suddenly said, “Is it just my imagination or is the number of cats growing in number? I thought you had four cats and now I see… five and a dog?”
“Oh, that’s Clarice,” said Odelia. “She’s a street cat and she’ll be keeping an eye on the others. And that’s Rambo—he’s a retired police dog and he’ll be their guard dog for a while. At least until this cat killer is finally caught.”
“I don’t know what this place is coming to,” said Marge. “Cat killers, if you please. Now who would try and kill our cats? You really have to be a sicko to try and do that.”
“Yeah, only a real sicko would do that,” Dudley agreed as he cast a curious look at Clarice, who stared right back at him, brazen as dammit, as was her habit.
Rambo, meanwhile, was already disappearing into the house, probably eager to get his nutrients in. Good thing that Tex was about to become a millionaire, he thought, because that dog was going to cost him an arm and a leg in dog chow if he kept this up.
“Where is Chase?” he asked, getting up from the freshly mown lawn with a groan.
“Still at work. He’ll be here soon,” said Odelia, supporting him.
“I’ll do that,” said Dudley, and took over from his sister. Tex proudly leaned on his son’s arm. It felt good to have a son, he thought. And as they walked into the house he thought this was probably one of the proudest days of his life. Well, except that he’d just made a total fool of himself over that lawnmower accident, of course. Or that his wife had almost died by electrocution, or his mother-in-law had practically broken her neck falling down the stairs. Or that his daughter had almost died in a head-on collision.
But apart from that? Proudest day of his life. And then he suddenly stumbled, and hit his head against the kitchen table and the world as he knew it instantly turned dark.
Chapter 36
“I don’t trust that guy,” said Clarice the moment Dudley and Tex were out of sight.
But since moments later Tex went down again and everyone convened in the kitchen to try and revive him, I momentarily forgot about her words.
Tex turned out to be all right, though, and when five minutes later he came to, he said he’d clumsily got tangled up in his own feet and hit his head against the kitchen table.
Against Tex’s protestations Marge called a doctor, just to make sure he was all right and no permanent damage had been done, and by the time we all returned next door, Tex lay tucked into bed, sleeping the sleep of the dead—though hopefully not too dead!
“He’s a bad one, that,” said Clarice once we were all installed on the couch, with Odelia moving around in the kitchen preparing dinner.
“Who are you talking about, Clarice?” asked Harriet.
“That Dudley, of course. Who else? I can see it in his eyes. He’s up to no good.”
“He seems like a great kid,” I said.
“He’s very nice,” Harriet chimed in. “Last night he even gave me some of that special pâté Marge likes to keep for special occasions.”
“And he cleaned out our litter boxes and put some extra litter inside—the nice-smelling kind,” said Brutus.
“He gave me a boost when I had trouble jumping on top of the couch,” said Dooley.
“I don’t care if he’s the perfect boy scout,” said Clarice. “I’m telling you now that he’s bad news. Also, I’m pretty sure he tripped up Tex just now, causing him to hit his head.”
“He did? I didn’t see that,” I said.
“That’s because your eyes aren’t as sharp as mine,” said Clarice, making me bristle a little.
“My eyes are perfectly fine,” I said.
“Your eyes may be fine, but Dudley’s got you all bamboozled. And now you only see what he wants you to see. And that goes for the entire Poole family.”
We let those words sink in for a moment, and just then Dudley walked in and said, “Need a hand, sis?”
He got a radiant smile in return from Odelia.
“No, that’s all right, Dudley,” she said. “Chase will be here any minute. It’s his turn to cook tonight. I’m just making sure we’ve got all the ingredients for spaghetti.”
“Chase only cooks spaghetti?” asked Dudley with a laugh.
Odelia made a comical face. “Don’t laugh. It’s his specialty.”
“I like spaghetti. So if what you’re saying is true, Chase is just my kind of guy.”
“Won’t you stay for dinner?”
“You don’t mind?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then sure,” said Dudley, and took a seat at the kitchen counter.
And as he and his sister continued to shoot the breeze, I saw Clarice study him all the while, never taking her eyes off him. And when Dudley glanced in her direction once or twice, her eyes narrowed, and her upper lip pulled back in a snarl. If Dudley was worried about this obvious display of enmity, he didn’t show it.
Until suddenly he got up and walked over to Clarice. “So this one isn’t yours?” he asked.
“No, Clarice doesn’t belong to anyone,” said Odelia. “But she drops by from time to time, so you might say I’ve half-adopted her.”
“She’s not very clean, is she?” he said, inspecting our friend more closely.
“That’s what living on the street will do.”
“Are you sure it’s safe for your own cats? I mean, she’s bound to be teeming with all kinds of parasites and other vermin. Fleas and lice and who knows what else.”
“I hadn’t thought about that,” said Odelia, considering Clarice for a moment.
“Fleas and lice have a tendency to jump from one carrier to the next, sis. It only takes them a fraction of a second to contaminate Max and the others, not to mention your home. Do you really want to wake up tomorrow morning with your head full of lice?”