“Then I’ll tell her.”
He gave me a skeptical look. “She’ll just think you’re trying to cover for me.”
“Brilliant, Brutus! That’s brilliant!” I said.
“What is?”
“Never mind. I know exactly what to say to make this whole thing go away.”
And with these words, I trotted off in Harriet’s wake, leaving Brutus and Dooley to stare after me in wonder.
Chapter 15
“Look, I promise you that’s how it went down,” I told Harriet. “Don’t you believe me?” I added with an incredulous little laugh.
“So you expect me to believe that you’re actually the one who peed in my bowl, and when you told Brutus he decided to take the rap for your mishap and fessed up instead?”
“That’s how it happened,” I said with a shrug. “Brutus immediately understood you’d be very upset, and since he didn’t want two of his best friends to be mad at each other, he told me he’d tell you he’d done it instead.”
“Oh, Max. It’s very sweet of you to try and get Brutus off the hook and all, but—”
“I’m not trying to get Brutus off the hook!” I cried. “I accidentally peed in your bowl, and when I told him he said, ‘I’ll take care of it, Max,’ and that’s the God’s honest truth!”
She studied me for a moment. “Either you’re a much better liar than I always thought you were, or this really happened.”
“Trust me, it happened,” I said, and projected my most honest face. It was important I healed this rift between the two partners, as I could sense that Harriet, who is just about the most prissy cat I know, would never tolerate this kind of abuse of her personal hygiene by her partner. From me she might—just might—accept it. Maybe.
“I don’t know,” she said finally. “I find it hard to believe you would have an ‘accident’ on your way to your litter box and decide to relieve yourself in my bowl—my bowl!”
“Look, I already explained to you how I thought it was my bowl, and I only saw it was yours after I’d already done the deed. And I promise you that as soon as I realized what had happened, I told Marge, and she threw out the contaminated water and replaced it with fresh water from the tap.”
“So you promise me I never drank from your…” She made a disgusted face. “… whatever?”
“I promise you that the stuff never touched your lips, Harriet.”
“Mh.” She thought for a moment, then said, “Pinky swear?”
“Pinkie swear,” I said with a smile, and as soon as I held up my pinkie, I felt a giant load fall from my back.
Just then, Brutus and Dooley walked in, and Brutus said, “Dooley has something he wants to confess, Harriet.”
“It was me,” said Dooley mournfully. “I peed in your bowl, not Brutus. And when I told him what I’d done he said he’d take the blame.”
Have you ever watched a volcano right before it erupts? It’s not a pretty sight. Steam rises up from its innards, and you just know it’s going to explode any moment, and you’re going to get pummeled with pieces of hot lava and rocks and that famous pyroclastic cloud that moves at 400 miles an hour and destroys everything in its wake.
Well, just such a moment had now arrived, only the volcano was Harriet, and even though the warning signs were all there, Brutus gave her a look of such inanity that he reminded me of how the inhabitants of Pompeii must have looked just before they got the boiling contents of Mount Vesuvius dumped in their unsuspecting necks.
So I decided I’d better run for cover, and as I passed Dooley, I grabbed his paw and steered him in the direction of the pet flap.
And we’d only just left Marge and Tex’s kitchen when the eruption began.
I can promise you it wasn’t pretty.
“Why did you go and do that for?” I asked as soon as we were out of earshot.
“Do what for?” asked Dooley innocently.
“Take the blame for Brutus’s mistake.”
“Well, he asked me to. He suddenly got the idea and asked me to tell Harriet what I just told her.”
“Oh, dear,” I said. I probably should have included Brutus and Dooley in my plans, and laid it all out for them in the minutest detail for the meanest intelligence to understand. But I’d wanted to catch Harriet before she disappeared, and that was my fatal mistake.
Now she wouldn’t merely be upset with Brutus, but with me and Dooley, too, for trying to deceive her.
“Dooley?” suddenly asked Gran as we passed the table of adults. “A word, please?”
So I left Dooley in Grandma’s care, while I went off in search of some peace and quiet. I needed to think up a new strategy on how to deal with Harriet’s latest eruption. The future of our friendly foursome depended on it.
And I’d just entered the house when I came upon Dudley Checkers, wandering around Odelia’s living room, and looking at picture frames and generally making himself right at home—in a house that technically wasn’t his.
“Oh, hi there,” he said when he saw me. “Max, is it?” He crouched down and tickled me under the chin. “Why, aren’t you a chunky kitty?”
I frowned at the guy. I don’t like to be called chunky. I mean, can I help it that I was born with big bones?
“So where are your friends, Max?” he asked. “Oh, that’s right. You divide your time between Odelia’s place and her parents’. Yeah, she told me all about you and your little buddies. She also told me you had a big scare this morning. Some crazy person tried to set you on fire.” He shook his head. “Personally I think crimes against pets are the worst crimes imaginable. Right up there with crimes against kids. But then that’s me. I’m a big pet fan myself.” He then gave me a big smile and tickled me behind the ears and got up.
I don’t know why, but I was already starting to like this kid. I mean, anyone who loves cats is all right in my book, you know.
Odelia then walked in, followed by Chase. “Oh, I see you’ve met Max,” said Odelia.
“Yeah, he’s a big cutie, isn’t he?” said Dudley.
“Yeah, we think so,” said Odelia.
For a moment an awkward silence ensued, the kind of awkward silence that tends to exist between a brother and a sister who’ve never met before and didn’t even know the other one existed until now. Then Odelia laughed an awkward little laugh, and so did Dudley, and then Chase said, “I have to tell you, Dudley, that the story you told us at dinner really got me, man. Your mom dying and you finding your dad and all? Heavy.”
“Thanks, Chase. I’m just glad I finally got to meet you guys. It’s just… I grew up thinking I was an only child, you know. And now suddenly… I’ve got a sister!”
Chase tapped his chest with his fist for some reason, and said, “And a brother, too, buddy,” then clasped the other guy in a tight embrace. There was a lot of back-slapping, and Odelia, wiping away a tear, watched the emotional scene, sniffling all the while.
And then she joined the group hug. And since I didn’t want to be left behind, I joined in, too.
What can I say? It’s one thing to see this stuff in a Lifetime movie, but something else to be suddenly right in the middle of it. And I may even have shed a happy tear, too.
Chapter 16
“Look, Dooley,” said Gran. “Sometimes people make mistakes, and that’s only natural. And sometimes cats make mistakes, and that’s okay, too. If they own up to those mistakes, and are honest about them and apologize, you will generally discover that your friends and your loved ones will find it in their hearts to forgive and forget.”
Dooley looked up at Gran, and said, “But what if the mistake is so big that they can’t forgive and forget, Gran?”
“Oh, Dooley,” said Gran, placing a hand on the small cat’s head. “Your mistake was a very small one, darling. In fact I don’t even think it can be called a mistake at all. I’d call it an accident. And who can blame you for an accident, right?”