“I can assure you it wasn’t ghosts, and it wasn’t aliens,” I said.
“It was Rambo,” Dooley said as he inspected his own bowl and sadly had to come to the conclusion that here, too, Rambo had eaten his fill, and had left nothing for us.
“Rambo did all this?” asked Harriet. “But that’s impossible. No dog can possibly eat this much.”
“He ate all the food next door, too,” I said. “And if he’d had a third home to sneak into, I’m sure he’d have emptied the bowls there, too.”
“This is too much!” said Harriet. “First Odelia hires a dog—a dog!—to guard us, and then the silly mutt eats all of our food!”
“At least he didn’t pee in our bowls,” I said with a pointed glance at Brutus. I still hadn’t fully forgiven him for his midnight indiscretions.
“We’re going to talk to him as soon as he gets back,” Dooley announced.
“Wait, where is he?” asked Harriet.
“Out. Chase took him for a walk,” I said.
“Out! So you’re telling me both our canine and our human bodyguards left us all alone—exposed to who knows what kinds of dangers!”
“I’m sure this cat killer won’t attack us when there’s people around,” I said.
“A bodyguard should be present at all times to guard your body,” said Harriet decidedly. “What else are they there for?”
She had a point, I had to admit.
“He does have to do his business twice or three times a day,” I said. “That’s how it works for dogs. And he can only do his business when he goes for a walk.”
“Well, I for one don’t feel safe,” said Harriet. “And I want a different bodyguard. I want a human bodyguard. And I want him to be around twenty-four-seven. Who’s with me?” And she held up her paw to indicate she wanted to put the matter to a vote.
Brutus immediately held up his paw, but I was reluctant to follow his example. “I don’t know,” I said. “I was going to talk to Clarice, and ask her to help us out, but we all know that will be a tough ask. And since we don’t have any other options here… I say we keep Chase and we keep Rambo, at least if we can get him house-trained.”
“Dooley? What say you?” Harriet snapped, giving me a fiery look that meant trouble.
“I’m with Max,” said my friend.
“Of course you are,” said Harriet. “Well, fine! I’ll deal with this on my own. Come on, Brutus. Let’s go.”
“Go where?” asked Brutus.
“Out!” said Harriet, and stalked off.
Brutus gave us an apologetic grimace, then followed his girlfriend out through the pet flap.
“I wonder what she’s going to do,” said Dooley, as he thoughtfully studied his bowl, as if hoping that cat kibble would magically appear out of thin air. “Did you know that dogs could slobber this much, Max?”
“No, I didn’t, Dooley.”
He touched the goo with a look of distaste. “It feels like… the stuff they put on pies.”
“I’m sure they don’t put dog goo on pies.”
And as we discussed the ins and outs of dog goo, suddenly Dudley came bounding down the stairs, looking distinctly cheerful. And why wouldn’t he? He’d just found his long-lost dad—that he hadn’t even known existed. Jerry Springer, if he’d been present, would have handed him a fat contract on the spot.
“Hey, fellas,” said the prodigal son when he spotted us. “What a lovely, lovely day this is, huh?”
And he opened the fridge and started rooting around as if this was his home—which I suppose now it was.
Next to come down the stairs, though she wasn’t bounding but shuffling, was Gran. When she saw Dudley, she frowned. “So you’re still here, huh?” she said, not sounding overly welcoming.
“Yup,” said Dudley. “And can I just say, Mrs. Muffin, how very glad I am to meet you. My own grandmother died when I was three, and I always wanted to have a sweet old lady just like yourself to spend time with.”
“For your information, sonny boy, I’m not an old lady. I’m only seventy-five. And secondly, if you think I’m going to spend time with you, you’re delusional. I’m out of here.” And to show Dudley she meant what she said, she promptly skedaddled.
“Not exactly the sweetest granny in the world, is she?” said Dudley, addressing us, I assumed, even though he wasn’t looking at us but at Gran’s disappearing back.
“Oh, Gran can be very sweet when she wants to be,” I said. “But she can also be extremely testy.”
“I guess I’ll just have to win her over,” said Dudley with a shrug, then took the box of cereal out of the cupboard and dumped a goodish helping into his mouth.
Chapter 23
“Yeah, we bought that piece of land years ago, didn’t we, hon? And for a bargain, too,” said Tex as he poured some coffee for his guests—Charlene Butterwick and Alec.
“We bought this house before Odelia was born,” said Marge. “And back then we were still thinking about building our own home, figuring this one would soon be too small.”
“Initially we wanted two or three kids,” Tex explained as he took a seat. They were out in the backyard, and he’d already raised the parasol since the sun was really turning up the heat. “But then after Odelia was born we kinda dropped the idea, didn’t we?”
“We did. But we never sold the land, figuring it might bring us some money down the road. Or maybe at some point Odelia would want to build herself a home there.”
“Well, it’s certainly going to bring you some very good money,” said Charlene as she took a nibble from her piece of toast.
“How much?” suddenly asked Dudley.
“I thought the developers had been in touch?” asked Charlene. “Didn’t they make an offer?”
Tex frowned. “I think someone called me a couple of weeks ago, but I just figured it was one of them cold callers trying to sell life insurance so I hung up on them.”
“We did get a letter in the mail not so long ago,” said Marge. “But since we’d more or less decided to let Odelia have the land I didn’t pay attention. It didn’t mention a mall.”
“How much did they offer?” asked Dudley eagerly.
“No price was mentioned as far as I know,” said Marge. She wasn’t happy that Dudley was inserting himself into the conversation, but Tex had insisted, figuring he was part of the family now. Odelia, unfortunately, had already left for work, and so had Chase, otherwise they could have weighed in, too.
“So the mall is happening?” asked Tex.
“It’s still early days,” said Charlene. “Which is why if you’re going to sell you better do it now. Because if nothing comes of this, they’ll immediately rescind their offer.”
“Thanks for letting us know,” said Marge, and she meant it. They could always use the extra money, now that they apparently had an extra mouth to feed in the form of Dudley.
“I think you should hold off on accepting their offer, Daddy,” said the kid now. “Let them come back with a higher offer, and see how high you can get them to go before accepting.” He leaned back. “I’ll bet you can get them to offer you millions for that plot.”
“Millions!” said Tex with a laugh. “In your dreams, buddy.”
“No, I’m serious, Daddy! They need that land. Without it they can’t build their precious mall. So I’ll bet they’re willing to pay you whatever it takes to get rid of you.”
“Dudley isn’t lying, Tex,” said Charlene. “They seem very willing to make you a great offer. Their exact words were: whatever it takes.”
“Oh, my,” said Tex, a blush of excitement mantling his cheeks. “Do you hear that, honey? We could be rich.”
“Let’s wait and see,” said Marge, who didn’t like the way Dudley kept interfering in what she considered a private family matter.
“Okay, I gotta go,” said Alec, getting up. “Marge—can I have a quick word?”