“I would love to,” she said gratefully.
He smiled broadly. “Then it’s a date. Oh, and Odelia?”
“Mh?”
He fixed her with an intent look. “I like you. I like you a lot.”
She returned his smile and took his face in her hands. “I like you, Chase. Very much.”
And then they kissed again, only a little less exuberantly than before, but no less heartfelt.
“Aah,” Harriet gushed.
“Ugh,” Brutus groaned.
Chapter 11
We all rode home with Odelia. She was very chirpy after her time spent at the gym. I thought it probably had something to do with hormones. When humans work out, they release something called endorphins in their brains, which make them feel happy. Or it might be all the kissing and groping she was doing with Chase. If this kept up, she’d soon have babies, which is something that tends to happen when humans kiss a lot. Female humans suddenly have baby humans. I have to admit I was not looking forward to that at all. I kinda liked the arrangement we had right now: me, Odelia and Dooley had a great thing going here. We didn’t need another little human to come in and ruining everything. Not to mention that Chase would move in and seriously cramp up our style.
Odelia was so happy she had a stupid grin on her face all the way home, and didn’t say a word.
“So what did you find out about the murderer?” I finally asked, deciding that someone had to take things in hand and steer them on the right track again.
“Huh?” asked Odelia, snapping out of whatever daydream she was living.
“The Donna thing? We are still trying to find out who killed that poor woman, aren’t we?”
Odelia looked at Harriet, whose turn it was to ride shotgun, the three of us ensconced on the backseat. “What have you found out so far, Harriet?”
Harriet seemed taken aback. She probably hadn’t expected that leading an investigation was going to involve actual, you know, leading an investigation. “I, um…” she began, darting a desperate look at Brutus. But that big lug wasn’t much help either, as he just sat there, lost in thought. Probably still trying to get the image of Odelia and Chase out of his mind. I didn’t blame him. Watching humans smooch is a traumatic experience.
“Um…” Harriet repeated. Then she seemed to get an idea, judging from the way her furry face suddenly lit up with what might be termed the light of intelligence. Though it might also have been gas. “We could do an Internet search!” she exclaimed.
Odelia’s eyebrows rose. “An Internet search?”
“Yeah. Donna Bruce was an Internet entrepreneur, so there’s bound to be a lot of stuff about her on the Internet.”
“Oh, I’m sure there is,” said Odelia, though she sounded a little disappointed. When you have four feline sleuths at your disposal, an Internet search isn’t exactly what you’re looking for. She probably could do all the Internet searches she wanted to do herself. But being the good sport that she was, she smiled at Harriet and said, “Knock yourself out, honey.”
Harriet beamed, directing a triumphant look at me. I held up my paw, claw up, in a sign of appreciation, but under my breath I told Dooley, “What a chump.”
“Huh?” asked Dooley, waking up from a stupor.
“Harriet is going to do an Internet search on Donna. She hopes to find the killer that way,” I told him, just in case he hadn’t been following the conversation, which obviously he hadn’t. “And Odelia thinks it’s just the way to go.”
“And isn’t it?”
“Of course not. What are we going to find on the Internet that will lead us to the killer? I mean, it’s not as if whoever murdered Donna posted a message online announcing the fact. Nobody is that dumb.”
“Right,” said Dooley, descending into his stupor again.
I frowned at him. “What’s the matter with you? You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden.”
Dooley nodded. ”Right,” he muttered, clearly not listening to a word I said.
I gave him a nudge. “Hey. What’s going on with you?”
He looked up. “Mh? Oh. I was just thinking is all.”
That immediately had me worried. When Dooley starts thinking, it’s bad news, as his cerebral capacity is too limited to allow for more than the occasional fleeting thought about food. It was obvious he was overtaxing his brain in a way that could prove detrimental. “Thinking about what?”
“Do you think Odelia and Chase are going to be married?” he asked finally.
“Yes, I do,” I said, understanding dawning. He’d been thinking along the same lines I had.
“I mean, what with all that kissing that was going on back there… The next step is usually that they get married, right?”
“I’m afraid so,” I said with a sigh.
“So who’s going to give Odelia away?” he asked. “I know she’ll probably ask you, seeing as that you’re her cat and all, but I consider myself her cat, too, and I love her a lot, so I would like to be considered for the honor as well.”
I looked up sharply. “That’s what you’re worried about?!”
He nodded sheepishly. “You’re my best friend, Max, but giving Odelia away would be like a dream come true. And since I figure she’s not the type to get married more than once, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so…”
I rolled my eyes. I saw what was going on. Marge was a big fan of the Hallmark Channel, and Dooley must have caught a lot of those slushy romantic movies lately, and gotten the idea in his head he was supposed to give away the bride or something. “Look, Dooley,” I said, wondering how to launch into this without upsetting him. “The thing is that in this tradition it’s not the woman’s cat who gives her away. At least not to my knowledge.”
He frowned. “But I thought it was the one who loved her the most who gave her away? And there’s no one who loves Odelia more than me.”
“Well, I love Odelia a lot.”
“Oh, I know that. But I love her more.”
“How do you reckon that?”
“I just have a more loving personality, I guess. You have to admit that you can be something of a curmudgeon sometimes, Max. I mean, you live with Odelia and probably don’t appreciate what you’ve got. Since I don’t live with Odelia, but still get to spend a lot of time with her, I obviously appreciate her a lot more, which means I also love her a lot more.”
“That’s just not true!” I said a little heatedly. “I appreciate Odelia just as much as you do, maybe even more, and I love her more because she’s my human, not yours.”
Dooley raised his chin. “She may not technically be my human, but since I’m more lovable she loves me a lot more than she loves you.”
“You’re more lovable? I’m more lovable! And Odelia loves me the most.”
“She does not. She loves me the most!”
“Does not!”
“Does too!”
“Not!”
“Too!”
“Guys, guys!” said Odelia, who must have overheard the discussion. She glanced at us through the rearview mirror. “Let’s keep it civil.”
“Odelia, Dooley says he loves you more than me,” I complained. “But that’s not possible, is it?”
“You’re arguing over who loves me more? Aww, that’s so sweet,” said Odelia.
“I love you the most,” said Dooley, “which means I get to give you away, right?”
“Give me away? Why would you want to get rid of me? I thought you just said you loved me.”
“It’s a tradition. Marge told me all about it. When a woman gets married, the one who loves her the most gives her away to the guy she’s getting married to. And since you’re getting married to Chase, I want to be the one to give you away.”
Odelia laughed. “Dooley, I’m touched that you would want to do that, but first of all, I’m not getting married anytime soon.”
“You’re not?”