“He’s right, you know,” said Harriet. “Libraries are a thing of the past, Gran, so Marge should come on board, and become the world’s first Baker Street Cats dispatcher.”
“I very much doubt she’ll want to do that,” Gran grunted.
“Well, she’ll have to, or otherwise this project will be a bust!”
“Odelia is going to have a baby,” suddenly Dooley interjected, sounding gloomy.
All those present, except for Scarlett, regarded him with astonishment. Though the responses were markedly different: Gran looked elated, Harriet was frowning and didn’t look happy, and Brutus looked pretty much indifferent.
“A baby!” Gran cried.
“What baby?” asked Scarlett.
“Odelia is pregnant!” Gran said.
“She’s not pregnant,” I said, hastening to put the record straight before the whole town was buzzing with news that wasn’t news. “All she said was that she wants to start a family.”
“So she’s not pregnant?” asked Gran.
“No, she’s not—at least not as far as I know.”
“Oh,” said Gran, her face sagging.
“So is she pregnant or isn’t she pregnant?” asked Scarlett.
“I’m not sure,” said Gran. “Dooley says she is, and Max says she isn’t.”
“Let’s ask her,” said Scarlett, closing her notebook, visibly relieved her lessons for the day were over. “Odelia!” she hollered, getting up. “Oh, Odelia!”
Odelia’s head popped through the opening in the hedge. “Yes?”
“Is it true that you’re pregnant?” asked Scarlett.
Odelia frowned.“Of course not—why do you ask?”
“Your cats seem to think so.”
“Do they now?” said Odelia, cutting a curious glance in my direction.
I was shaking my head, but before I could deny the charge, Gran said,“It would be great if you were pregnant, honey. It’s what we’re all waiting for, you know.”
“Frankly whether I’m pregnant or not is none of your business, Gran,” said Odelia, “or yours, for that matter, Scarlett.”
“Well!” said Scarlett, taken aback.
“But for your information, I’m not pregnant, and even if I was, the first person I’d tell would be my husband.” And with these words, she turned on her heel and disappeared again.
“She’s pregnant,” said Scarlett knowingly. “Only a pregnant woman would be so catty.”
“She’s not catty,” said Gran. “Or is she?”
“Oh, she’s catty all right. Did you see the way she was looking at me? Hormones.”
“I’m not sure,” said Gran. Then a keen look came into her eyes. “Let’s ask Marge. If anyone knows, it’ll be Marge.”
“Marge!” Scarlett bellowed. “Marge, come here a minute, will you!”
Marge’s head now popped through the kitchen window. “What?” she asked, looking a little harried. Libraries might be a thing of the past, but the library where Marge worked still seemed to give her plenty of work.
“Is it true that Odelia is pregnant?” asked Scarlett, not beating about the bush.
Marge frowned.“What?
“Pregnant,” said Scarlett.
“We have it on good authority that you’re going to be a grandmother soon,” said Gran.
“And you a great-grandmother,” Scarlett pointed out, causing a slight lessening of Gran’s exuberance.
“Great-grandmother,” she repeated. “Oh, my…”
“Oh, don’t talk nonsense,” said Marge. “If my daughter were pregnant, don’t you think she would have told me?”
“So she’s not pregnant?” asked Scarlett.
“Of course not.”
“Huh!” said Scarlett, as Marge’s head disappeared.
“Oh, I know,” said Gran. “Let’s ask Tex.”
“Of course! If anyone knows, it’s Odelia’s doctor. Tex!” she screamed. “Oh, Texie!”
Tex’s head came popping out of the upstairs bedroom window, where presumably he’d been engaged in admiring the portrait of his gnome, the pride of his collection. “What is it?” he asked. “Where is the fire?”
“No fire,” said Scarlett. “Just that we heard that congratulations are in order.”
“What congratulations?” asked Tex, looking puzzled.
“Oh, don’t be coy, Tex. We know you’re going to be a grandfather soon!”
Tex’s face lit up. “I am? Oh, that’s wonderful news.”
“You mean you didn’t know?” asked Scarlett.
“No, I didn’t. This is news to me—but wonderful, absolutely wonderful.”
“But you are your daughter’s doctor, aren’t you?”
“I’m not a gynecologist, Scarlett,” said Tex.
“So you wouldn’t know if she were pregnant?” Scarlett insisted.
“Not unless she told me,” said Tex.
“Okay, Tex, go away,” said Gran. “We don’t need you anymore.”
“Oh,” said Tex, giving us a look of confusion, retracting his head again.
Just then, Chase came walking through the hedge, and gave us an all-encompassing smile.“Still working on those cat-talking skills, are you, Scarlett?” he said.
“Chase, you’re the dad,” said Scarlett, pouncing on the cop. “So when is the big day?”
“What big day?” asked Chase.
“When is your wife’s due date?!” Scarlett insisted.
“Due date?”
“Babies, Chase!” said Gran. “When is the baby due?”
“Before you can have a due date, first you need to be pregnant,” the cop pointed out.
“Oh, don’t keep us in suspense!” Gran snapped. “Is your wife pregnant or isn’t she?”
Chase gave her a smile.“That’s for me to know and for you to find out, isn’t it?”
And with these cryptic words, he walked into the house.
“This family of yours is just terrible!” said Scarlett.
“Yeah, so secretive,” Gran murmured.
And then, slowly, they both turned to me. And soon I found that Harriet, Brutus and Dooley were also staring at me.
“You’re Odelia’s top cat, Max,” said Harriet.
“Yeah, if anyone knows her deepest darkest secrets, it’s you,” Brutus added.
“A baby is not a dark secret, Brutus,” said Gran.
“No, I guess it’s not,” Brutus amended his statement.
“But you know, don’t you, Max!” said Harriet.
“Look, you guys, I have no idea what goes on behind closed doors!” I said.
“Oh, but you do, Max—you always do,” said Harriet.
“Yeah, you’re a clever little detective, aren’t you, Max?” said Brutus.
“If anyone knows, it’s you, Max!” said Gran.
“And if he doesn’t know now, he’ll be able to find out, won’t you, Max?” said Scarlett.
“But you guys!” I cried.
“You have to find out, Max,” said Harriet.
“Yeah, our lives depend on it,” Brutus chimed in.
“A baby is going to change everything, Max,” said Dooley.
“As we all know: when babies come, cats have to go,” Harriet added.
“Which means we’ll have to go,” said Brutus.
“No more sleeping at the foot of the bed,” said Harriet.
“No more spending time lazing around the house,” Brutus added.
“The good old days are over, Max,” said Harriet.
“Yeah, it’s bye-bye cats,” said Gran.
“At least as long as that baby is an infant,” Brutus pointed out. He turned to Harriet. “How long does it last, that infancy stage?”
“Oh, probably until the kid goes off to college?” said Harriet.
“College!” Dooley cried. “But that’s… a very long time!”
“Okay, so it’s a matter of life or death, Max,” said Gran.
“You have to find out if Odelia is pregnant—now!” Harriet stressed.
“Oh, all right!” I said. “I will find out, I promise!”
Okay, so I finally caved. But what did you expect? It was indeed a matter of life or death for us cats! Harriet was right: when babies come, cats have to go! And I honestly didn’t feel like going just yet. I was much too young to go! I really was!
Chapter 18