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ôFine. So IÆm the last honest man on the planet. Sue me. Are we done?ö

ôYeah,ö said Chase, getting up and glowering at the man. ôWeÆre done.ö

Chapter 18

ôWhat a nasty piece of work!ö Odelia fumed once we were en route to Hampton Cove again. ôI canÆt believe what Ebony sees in the guy!ö

ôHeÆs rich, handsome, and IÆm sure he can be charming when he wants to be,ö said Chase.

ôWell, heÆs not fooling me. And in my next article IÆm going to lay it all out, no holds barred.ö

Chase chuckled.ôLooks like Cotton is in for some more trouble.ö

ôHeÆs got it coming. What a thoroughly despicable person.ö

ôI think itÆs all that foie gras he eats,ö said Dooley. ôEating that much liver canÆt be healthy. It probably affects his own liver and now heÆs turned into a grinch.ö

ôNot a grinch,ö I corrected my friend. ôMore like a misogynist.ö

ôThat sounds bad,ö said Dooley, eyeing me curiously. ôIs that like cancer?ö

ôAbsolutely,ö I said with a smile. ôA cancer to society.ö

ôSo where are we going now?ö I asked, addressing my question to Odelia since Chase still didnÆt speak our language for some reason, even though heÆd been rubbing shoulders with us for a while now.

ôWeÆre going to talk to the rest of the family,ö said Odelia. ôCottonÆs dad, ex-wife and daughter. Find out what they have to say about this murder business.ö

ôI hope Harriet and Brutus are all right,ö said Dooley. ôInfiltrating a duck group could be dangerous, especially if one of them is a killer.ö

ôIÆm sure theyÆll be fine,ö I said, though I did experience a slight twinge of unease, too. Going undercover in a group of animal rights activists did indeed sound like a mission fraught with danger. I just hoped that these duck rights activists would extend their love of ducks to other species of animals, too. Like cats. Then again, bird lovers are often the most virulent cat haters, since they seem to think we alone are to blame for the decimation of the bird population. Even though personally I donÆt know any cats whoÆd want to be seen dead with a duck, so hopefully that gave these duck people pause when they went on their rampage.

Diedrich Karat lived in a house easily as big and nice as the entire Heartfield Clinic. His wife, CottonÆs mom, had died some years ago, so the businessman had the house all to himself.

ôHe must have sold a lot of foie gras to afford a place like this,ö said Dooley when we were staring up at the facade, which consisted of dark brick which lent it a touch of ominousness. Like those dark and stormy night stories the Bront? sisters liked so much. When the door opened I half expected a tortured-looking Heathcliff to be staring back at us, eyes burning like lumps of coal. Instead, it was just a regular butler with no visible signs of insanity.

ôItÆs not just foie gras the Karats are selling,ö I said as we followed our humans across the threshold and into the Karat dwelling. ôTheyÆre a luxury goods company, which means they sell everything your rich person likes, be it expensive watches, cars, jewelry, clothes, shoes, perfume, tobacco productsà If itÆs expensive and exclusive, the Karats will sell it.ö

ôAre there so many rich people in the world who can afford that kind of stuff?ö

ôOh, absolutely. There are plenty of billionaires and even more millionaires.ö

ôIs Odelia a millionaire?ö

ôNo, not exactly,ö I said with a smile. ôNot on a reporterÆs salary.ö

ôIf she works hard enough, and saves enough money, do you think sheÆll ever be a millionaire?ö

ôItÆs possible,ö I said. ôBut only if she lives to be five hundred years old.ö

Dooley thought about this for a moment.ôI donÆt think humans live that long, do they?ö

ôNo, they donÆt.ö

ôPity.ö

Diedrich was waiting for us in what the butler called the smoking room. Fortunately for us no smoking was going on at that moment, since smoking irritates my sensitive sense of smell.

CottonÆs dad was one of those barrel-chested men. He was also one of those potbellied men, and the combination of that barrel chest and that potbelly made him look very big indeed. In contrast, he had a rather small head and spindly legs, and so the end result was disconcerting.

He got up from a squeaky leather couch with some effort, and greeted us with a kindly smile and an outstretched hand.ôHow did you find Cotton? In good spirits, I hope?ö

ôHe seemed fine,ö said Odelia, perhaps a little more curtly than a loving father might have hoped.

Diedrich must have picked up on it, for he said,ôHe hates it there, I know. But it is for his own good. You canÆt go around frolicking all over the stage in front of a room full of shareholders and expect them to like it. Cotton singlehandedly collapsed our stock. So we had to do something.ö

ôHeÆs giving a press conference this afternoon?ö asked Chase.

ôYes, after what happened with Eric Blandine we owe it to our investors to talk turkey. ItÆs very unfortunate but it canÆt be helped.ö

ôWill you come out of retirement, sir?ö asked Odelia.

ôI donÆt think so. My health isnÆt what I would like it to be. High blood pressure. The doctors have advised me to take a backseat. Let others take the reins from now on.ö

ôSo Cotton again?ö

ôYes, Cotton again. Only this time weÆll keep him on a much tighter leash. No more canoodling with young models in front of the worldÆs cameras. He has a lot of growing up to do, but IÆm confident weÆll get him there yet.ö He gave Chase and Odelia an expectant look. ôSo? What have youfound so far? Any imminent arrests I should know about?ö

ôNot yet, sir,ö said Chase.

Diedrich frowned.ôI thought you were here to give me an update?ö

ôWeÆre here as part of the investigation. Collect background information on your son and the people that are closest to himùlike you, sir, and his ex-wife and daughter.ö

ôWhat good is that going to do? You should be out there, hunting the bastard down!ö

The manÆs head had turned red, and I could see a vein throbbing in his neck.

ôIf he keeps this up heÆll drop dead before the interview is over,ö said Dooley.

ôBoth Chase and Odelia know CPR,ö I said. ôTheyÆll give him the kiss of life.ö

ôWhatÆs the kiss of life?ö asked Dooley, much interested.

ôMouth-to-mouth resuscitation.ö When he continued mystified, I explained, ôWhen a person collapses you put your mouth on theirs and breathe into their lungs. In the meantime you give them a heart massage to keep the old ticker going until the paramedics arrive. ItÆs saved a lot of lives.ö

Dooley studied the Karat patriarchÆs lips, and shivered. ôThat canÆt be hygienic,ö he said.

ôWhy not? Odelia kisses Chase all the time.ö

ôYes, but thatÆs because she makes allowances: because she loves him. But I donÆt think they love Diedrich, do they?ö

ôItÆs not about love, Dooley. ItÆs about saving a life.ö

ôBut cooties, Max! Think about the cooties!ö

Luckily Chase managed to calm the man down, and his face lost its dark color.

ôItÆs just a routine part of our inquiry, sir,ö said the cop. ôNow can you tell us if your son has any enemies that you know of? Apart from those angry shareholders, of course.ö

ôWell, Ebony Pilay was pretty upset with him, at least according to Tobias. And then thereÆs those duck people. The Duck Liberation Army or whatever theyÆre called.ö

ôDuck Liberation Front,ö Odelia corrected him.

ôIt must be them, right? TheyÆre the ones who sent BlandineÆs liver to the office.ö

ôThe person in charge of the Duck Liberation Front has a solid alibi,ö said Chase. ôSo it canÆt have been her.ö

ôSo one of her followers did it. TheyÆre all nuts, as far as IÆm concerned. Absolutely bonkers. Who would want to save a duck? You might as well try and save the pigeons. Though IÆm sure thereÆs probably a Pigeon Liberation Front out there as well. Or even a Rat Liberation Army. The worldhas gone stark-raving mad, thatÆs all I can think.ö