ôOf course not. YouÆre my best friend becauseà well, just because you are.ö
ôSoà I canÆt be fired for bad behavior like Cotton Karat?ö
ôNo, absolutely not. I can be upset with you for bad behavior, just like you can be upset with me if I behave badly, but I canÆt fire you, and you canÆt fire me.ö
ôSo youÆre upset with me, arenÆt you?ö he said with a sad look.
ôI was a little bit upset,ö I admitted. ôBut IÆm fine now.ö
ôOh, Maxùcan you ever forgive me?ö
ôNothing to forgive,ö I said magnanimously and with a broad smile.
ôNot even for calling you obese?ö
My smile faltered somewhat.ôHow many times, Dooley! IÆm not obese!ö
Now it was his turn to smile.ôI knew it. You still love me, donÆt you? Otherwise you wouldnÆt get mad with me.ö And to show me he meant what he said, he gave me a tight hug that almost choked me. Not to mention that he did it in full view of the whole street, which contained a lot of our feline friends, who all smirkedwhen they saw this public display of affection!
ôAll right, all right!ö I said finally, as I tried to wriggle myself out of his embrace.
ôIÆm so glad weÆre friends again, Max,ö he said as he practically skipped beside me.
ôMe, too,ö I said.
ôI wonÆt let any woman come between us again.ö
ôMind that you donÆt.ö
ôThough she was pretty, wasnÆt she, Pris?ö
ôVery pretty,ö I agreed.
ôToo bad she lives with that investor. HeÆs a cold one, Max. Only thing that matters to him is his bottom.ö
ôBottom line, you mean.ö
ôNo, Pris told me that Elvis is very concerned with his bottom. Studies it in the mirror all the time, and does all kinds of exercises to make it look as tight as possible.ö
I suppressed a shiver. Imagine having to live with a man who wonÆt let you out of the apartment, and is obsessed with his own bottom. No wonder Pris was the way she was.
ôSo the case is closed now, is it?ö
ôYeah, I guess it is.ö
He studied me for a moment.ôThen why do you look so sad, Max?ö
ôI donÆt look sad.ö
ôYes, you do. ItÆs not that youÆre still angry with me, are you?ö
ôNo, Dooley. IÆm not still angry with you. But I am not fully convinced that Lita is Eric BlandineÆs killer, thatÆs for sure.ö
ôSo weÆll just keep on looking, shall we?ö
I smiled.ôYou okay with that, buddy?ö
ôAbsolutely. ItÆs what I like best, you know.ö
ôWhat is?ö
ôThis! Sleuthing together.ö
I have to admit his words touched a chord.
How could they not? ItÆs what I like best, too.
Chapter 31
That evening, Gran was in charge of the cooking for a change. We were all gathered in Marge and TexÆs backyard, the entire family seated around the big table, but when the food finally came out, instead of shiny eyes and happy faces, mouths sagged and mutterings of disappointment could be heard. Not too loud, mind you, since Gran doesnÆt take criticism well.
ôWhatÆs this?ö asked Scarlett as she stared into her dish.
ôTofu,ö said Gran proudly.
ôIt looks like a piece of cardboard,ö said Scarlett, whoÆs probably the only person in the world whoÆs not afraid of GranÆs acerbic wit. ôAnd whatÆs that white goo?ö
ôThatÆs tofu sauce.ö
ôIt looks like paint.ö She took a bite. ôIt also tastes like paint.ö
ôAnd how would you know what paint tastes like?ö
ôI know it tastes like crap, and thatÆs exactly what this is. What happened to the roast beef you promised me?ö
ôMeat is murder, Scarlett. WeÆre all vegetarians from now on.ö
ôYou may be a vegetarian, but IÆm not.ö
ôSo you want to keep murdering the planet, do you?ö
ôNo, but I do want some regular food.ö She pushed her plate away. ôAnd this is not it.ö
ôOh, you ungratefulùö
But Scarlett held up her hand.ôSave it, Vesta. We both know youÆre not the one who supplied this spread. For that we have Marge and Tex to thank. And what a waste of money it was.ö She smiled a gracious smile to her hosts, who sat looking a little stiff and frosty, and jabbed at their meal with expressions that told all. Even Uncle Alec and Charlene Butterwick were uncharacteristically quiet while the tofu war raged on.
For a moment, Gran and Scarlett continued to be locked in a staring contest, then finally Gran relented.ôMaybe youÆre right,ö she said. ôIt does taste like cardboard, doesnÆt it? I bought it yesterday at LitaÆs store, and once I bought it, it seemed like a pity to throw it out.ö
ôThereÆs nothing wrong with tofu,ö finally said Marge. ôItÆs the way you prepare it that makes all the difference. She got up and started collecting plates. ôNow why donÆt you let me give it a try?ö
ôWould you?ö asked Gran, almost piteously. ôI donÆt know what happened but I just canÆt seem to make it edible.ö
ôCome on, Ma,ö said Marge. ôLetÆs give it our best shot.ö
And they both disappeared into the house.
Uncle Alec visibly relaxed, and so did the others. The prospect of having to eat the inedible and pretend to like it is probably beyond any human, or every living creature, for that matter. I had to confess that when Gran dumped a piece of tofu into my bowl, I gave it one sniff and gave up.
ôItÆs just fermented soybeans, Max,ö said Harriet. ôItÆs not poison or something.ö
ôI donÆt like soybeans,ö I told her. ôFermented or otherwise.ö
ôSo I hear Chase arrested Lita?ö said Brutus. He sounded happy about it.
ôYeah, someone sent Odelia a video of ducks being manhandled, and the same video was sent to Lita a couple of days ago, so now Chase is convinced it set her off on a murder spree.ö
ôYou donÆt look convinced?ö
ôThatÆs because IÆm not.ö
ôI wonder who sent that video to Odelia,ö said Dooley.
ôIt was sent from an anonymous number. Untraceable.ö
ôMaybe the same person who lured Eric Blandine to his death?ö
I gave my friend a nod.ôThatÆs exactly what I thought.ö
ôSo someone is framing Lita?ö Harriet asked.
ôYes, it certainly looks that way.ö
ôPity,ö said Brutus. ôThat woman is a menace.ö
ôShe is a danger to any cat that roams these streets,ö Harriet agreed.
ôBut that doesnÆt make her a murderer, does it?ö I said.
Finally Marge and Gran came out of the house with steaming plates of food, and this time the experiment proved a success, for the human contingent all tucked in eagerly.
Lucky for us, we didnÆt get to partake in the bucolic feast. Instead, Odelia slipped us some delicious chicken. It might not be kosher, but what can you do? It tastes so good.
[╩α≡≥ΦφΩα: img_2]
Later that evening, I decided to wander into town. I had to think, and a nice walk would do me good. Also, Kingman frequently has the best food in town. His human runs the General Store, and keeps KingmanÆs bowl filled to capacity at all times. He gets his stuff from his suppliersùsometimes excellent, sometimes not so much. Like the lottery, you simply have to throw the dice and hope youÆre in luck.
We were in luck that night, and the kibble that Kingman gladly shared was wonderful.
ôWhere have you guys been all day?ö asked our friend. ôWilbur is complaining that I donÆt eat enough.ö He patted his impressive belly. ôBut if I eat any more IÆll simply burst!ö
ôDo you have big bones, too, Kingman?ö asked Dooley.
Kingman grinned.ôAbsolutely. Big bones, thatÆs me.ö
I saw that Wilbur was chatting with a woman. The shop was supposed to be closed, but Wilbur likes to keep it open longer sometimes for special customers.
ôDoes Wilbur have a new girlfriend?ö I asked, eyeing the woman with interest.
ôNah. TheyÆre just friends. Though Wilbur wouldnÆt mind getting to know her a little better, if you ask me.ö
ôDo you think Wilbur will ever get married and settle down, Kingman?ö asked Dooley.
ôWhat are you talking about? The guy is old. Too old to have kids. And besides, why marry? WeÆve got a pretty great thing going here, me and Wilbur. WeÆre like those guys in that movie. WhatÆs it calledùTheOdd Couple.ö