ôIt died a natural death,ö Odelia assured her husband.
Chase grunted something under his breath. He didnÆt seem overly concerned whether the mouse had died from old age or from an attack by some ravenous stalker. ôIÆll get rid of it,ö he said, and picked the mouse up by its tail, then carried it off, presumably to dump it in the compost bin for later disposal and subsequent recycling.
ôDonÆt you think we should return it where Dooley found it?ö I asked. ôThat mouse has a mother and a father, and sisters and brothers, who are probably wondering where it went off to all of a sudden.ö
ôBetter put it in the field,ö Odelia instructed her husband. ôLet nature take its course.ö
ôIt will attract other, bigger animals,ö Chase warned.
Odelia shrugged.ôWe could give it a proper burial,ö she suggested.
Chase grinned, still holding the mouse between thumb and index finger.ôA proper burial for a mouse?ö
ôItÆs a living, breathing creature, Chase. It deserves our respect.ö
Chase inspected the dead mouse. I had the impression he wanted to point out it wasnÆt breathing or living anymore, but he wisely refrained from stating the obvious. Instead, he said, ôIÆll stick it in the fridge for now. We can bury it later on.ö
And since Odelia and Chase were up, they decided to get ready for their day. The sun had hoisted itself over the horizon and was casting its rays into the room. Rise and shine!
ôI donÆt get it,ö I told Dooley while Odelia took a shower and Chase rummaged around in search of a suitable coffin for the mouse. ôWhy would you think itÆs a good idea to put a dead mouse on OdeliaÆs pillow?ö
ôItÆs the baby,ö my friend explained, looking pained. ôOnce the baby is born, itÆs going to take up a big chunk of OdeliaÆs time and attention. And then what about me?ö
ôSheÆll still have time for us,ö I said. ôItÆs not as if sheÆll suddenly forget all about us.ö
ôShe wonÆt forget about you,ö Dooley clarified. ôBecause youÆre her favorite.ö
ôIÆm not her favorite,ö I said with a laugh.
ôOh, yes, you are. You solve crimes and make her look good. YouÆre her ace sleuth, Max.ö
ôOkay, so what about Harriet and Brutus? TheyÆre not ace sleuths and Odelia loves them just as much as she loves us.ö
ôShe loves Harriet because sheÆs pretty, and Brutus because heÆs big and strong. But me? I donÆt have any special qualities, Max. IÆm not smart like you, IÆm not pretty like Harriet, and IÆm not big and strong like Brutus. IÆmà superfluous.ö
I was taken aback, both from hearing Dooley use such a difficult word, and by the meaning behind it.ôYouÆre not superfluous, Dooley. YouÆreà sweet and cuddly.ö
He gave me a skeptical look.ôPlease. Sweet and cuddly is not an admirable quality.ö
ôIt is! And youÆre very sweet and very cuddly, Dooley.ö
But he didnÆt seem convinced. ôI need a USP, Max.ö
ôYou mean UPS, surely?ö
ôNo, I need a unique selling proposition. You and Harriet and Brutus all have one, and I also need one, or the moment that baby is born, theyÆll simply chuck me out.ö
ôNobody is going to chuck you out, Dooley.ö
ôThey will, unless I make myself indispensable. Which is why I thought of that mouse.ö
ôI very much doubt youÆll make yourself indispensable by festooning OdeliaÆs pillow with dead mice.ö
ôYeah, she didnÆt seem to like it all that much, did she?ö
ôNo, she did not.ö
We both looked on as Odelia removed the cover from the pillow and dumped it into the laundry basket, then picked up the pillow, thought for a moment, and dumped that into the laundry basket, too. Then she removed the cover from the duvet and put that in the laundry, and finally ended up putting both her and ChaseÆs duvets into the laundry, as well as the mattress cover, and if Chase hadnÆt entered the room and stopped her, I had the impression she would have stripped the mattress off the bed, too, for deep cleaning.
No, DooleyÆs new USP wasnÆt exactly a big hit with this expectant mother.
Chapter 4
Dooley and I were tucking into our first kibble of the day when a special news bulletin caught Odelia and ChaseÆs attention. As usual, the TV had been blaring away in a corner of the kitchen, supplying some pleasant background noise while our humans prepared breakfast for themselves, when Chase turned up the sound.
ôWell-known business tycoon Cotton Karat conducted his annual shareholdersÆ meeting, but had more eyes for his girlfriendÆs bottom than for his companyÆs bottom line,ö the newscaster intoned with visible glee. Footage of Cotton Karat kissing a stunning brunette supplied images to the newscasterÆs words. ôShareholders were less than impressed, and major shareholder Elvis Diamond even threatened legal action if Cotton doesnÆt stop acting like a lovesick puppy and more like the businessman heÆs supposed to be. Karat Group shares dropped like a stone, shaving off billions of dollars from the companyÆs value.ö The newscaster now turned to his co-host. ôWhat do you think, Karen? Would you buy from a man who is as loved up as Cotton Karat clearly is?ö
ôAbsolutely not, Mike. If a man devotes all of his time to his girlfriend and none of it to his company, why would he expect me to buy his products? He obviously doesnÆt care.ö
ôOuch. Looks like Cotton lost himself another customer.ö
The news bulletin turned to the weather forecast, and Chase turned down the sound.
ôWhat do they sell, this Karat Group?ö he asked as he buttered a piece of toast.
ôLuxury stuff, mainly,ö said Odelia. ôCaviar, foie gras, expensive cigarsà But also jewelry and designer clothes, watches, pursesà Anything that we canÆt afford,ö she finished with a rueful smile.
ôLooks like they can afford to lose a couple of billion in revenue.ö
ôNot sure they can. Ever since Cotton Karat took over from his dad, itÆs been one PR disaster after another. Frankly the investors and shareholders are getting fed up.ö
ôWell, as long as they donÆt kill each other over it, I donÆt care,ö said the cop as he took a sip from his piping hot coffee.
ôI actually interviewed Cotton Karat a couple of months ago,ö said Odelia, taking a seat at the kitchen counter. ôHe seemed like a nice enough guy. A real playboy, though. Seemed more interested in showing off his fancy car collection and his latest supermodel girlfriend than the company heÆs supposed to be running.ö
Just then, suddenly the glass sliding door opened and OdeliaÆs dad walked in. He was looking a little wild-eyed and was anxiously glancing behind him as if he was a character in a Robert Ludlum novel, being persecuted by some nefarious government conspiracy.
Without a word, he made a beeline for OdeliaÆs fridge, yanked it open and rummaged around until he found what he was looking for: a sizable sausage. He then cut a big chunk off the sausage, and still without a word of explanation, popped it into his mouth, closed his eyes in relish, and chewed on the delicacy as if it was a spoonful of Karat caviar.
ôDad!ö said Odelia with a laugh. ôWhatÆs going on?ö
ôVegetarians,ö said Tex with a dark look in the direction of the door. Like Jason Bourne, his attackers could presumably enter through that door at any moment, eager to kill him.
ôVegetarians?ö asked Odelia. ôWhat are you talking about?ö
ôYour grandmother has gone over to the dark side,ö said the doctor, continuing to be mystifying. When the others merely stared at him, he said, ôSheÆs become a vegetarian.ö
ôPoor Dad,ö said Chase with a chuckle. ôYou mean youÆre not allowed to eat meat anymore?ö
Tex nodded, as he eyed the rest of that sausage eagerly.
ôEat it,ö Odelia suggested. ôThereÆs plenty more where that came from.ö
ôAre you sure?ö said Chase. ôWe donÆt want him to break the vegetarianÆs pledge.ö
Tex gave his son-in-law a dark look.ôItÆs not as if IÆve got a choice. SheÆs making me eat tofu,ö he said. ôCan you imagine? Tofu!ö
ôI like tofu,ö said Odelia. ôItÆs very tasty.ö