Sidestepping the first turd, he stepped in another turd with his other foot, to even things out.
Double yuck.
One nice thing about being Cotton were the fine clothes the man wore. HeÆd been granted access to CottonÆs wardrobe, and he had to admit that whatever his faults were, the guy had taste. He checked his expensive watch and frowned when he noted the time.
ôWhere isùö he started to mutter, when suddenly he heard the sound of a footfall behind him. But when he whirled around to face the person, suddenly pain shot through the back of his head, a pain so sharp and unexpected that he cried out in agony.
And as he sank down to his knees, the last thought that passed through his mind was that now his five-thousand-dollar Tom Ford pants were going to be ruined, too.
Chapter 8
I woke up early again the next morning. Once again a loud scream tore me from a pleasant dream about a soft couch and a favorite blanket.
ôDooley!ö Odelia yelled, and immediately I was wide awake.
I searched around, fearing the worst, but when my gaze encountered my friendÆs, and he looked back at me guiltily but very obviously alive and well, I let out a sigh of relief.
ôWhy!ö Odelia cried. ôJust tell me why!!!ö
I frowned when I took in the scene. On OdeliaÆs pillow this time no mouse, thank God. But when I looked closer, I saw that a tiny feathered thing had found its way thither. I had to really approach to discover what the little present was that Dooley had picked out for our human.
It was a bird. A tiny bird, but still a bird.
ôI-I found it lying outside,ö Dooley explained timidly. ôAnd I thought youÆd enjoy the present.ö
ôWhat is it?ö asked Chase, yawning. Then he frowned. ôIs thatà a bird?ö
ôIt is!ö Odelia said. She was sitting bolt upright in bed and had folded her arms across her chest and was giving Dooley a look that brooked no contest. ôWell? IÆm waiting for an explanation.ö
ôItÆs my USP!ö Dooley said, a little lamely, I thought.
ôYour what?ö
ôMy USP. Max is the brains of this family, Brutus the brawn, Harriet the beauty, and I like to bring you little presents. ItÆs what cats do,ö he added helplessly. ôItÆs what I do.ö
ôWell, I want you stop doing it, Dooley. I want you to stop bringing me little presents in the morning, especially if they consist of dead mice and dead birds!ö
ôDid Dooley kill a bird?ö asked Chase with a note of concern to his voice.
ôI didnÆt kill it,ö said Dooley. ôIt was already dead.ö
A worm now came poking its head to the surface of the dead birdÆs chest and both Odelia and Chase cried out in horror. It wasnÆt unlike that chestburster scene inAlien, only on a much smaller scale, of course.
ôLooks like this bird has been dead a couple of days,ö Chase remarked dryly.
ôJust get rid of it, will you?ö said his wife.
ôWant me to bury it, like I buried the mouse?ö
ôYes, please do!ö said Odelia, sounding out of sorts.
Then again, it probably isnÆt a pleasant sensation to find a dead bird on your pillow first thing in the morning.
ôI thought youÆd enjoy the present,ö said Dooley dejectedly.
ôWell, I donÆt,ö said Odelia in a voice that brooked no contest.
And as we watched, the whole ritual started anew: after Chase had found a box appropriate for the mortal remains of the bird to be buried in, Odelia tore off the cover of her pillow, then tore off the cover of the duvet, and finally shoved covers and pillow and duvet into the washing machine, giving the knob a vicious twist as she did.
ôLooks like that didnÆt hit the spot,ö said Dooley finally.
ôNo, it clearly did not,ö I agreed with him.
ôWell, IÆll just have to keep looking for my USP.ö
ôNo, Dooley, you donÆt,ö I said, but the mulish look on his face told me that I could argue until the cows came home, it was no good. He was going to look for his USP if it killed him. Or us. Then again, dead mice and birds probably arenÆt a health hazard. Or are they?
Moments later we were downstairs in the living room, chillaxing on the couch and keeping an eye on our humans as they got ready to start their working day. All of a sudden the doorbell chimed, and moments later Uncle Alec walked in. OdeliaÆs uncle drops by so often Odelia has given him a key to the place. But like the nice guy he is, he rings first.
ôBad news, people,ö said the Chief as he ambled up. ôThereÆs beenàö He sniffed the air. ôIs thatà bacon?ö
ôYeah, want some?ö asked Chase. He had donned an apron and was presiding over the stove, cooking up strips of bacon for himself and Odelia.
ôDonÆt mind if I do,ö said Uncle Alec as he graced a kitchen stool with his bulk. ôCharlene has gotten it into her nut that weÆre going to be vegetarians from now on,ö he explained. ôAnd frankly itÆs driving me to despair.ö
ôShe must have been talking to Vesta,ö said Chase with a grin.
ôDonÆt get me started on my ma,ö said the Chief, holding up his hand. ôDid you know she was arrested yesterday for staging a protest against some foie gras guy?ö
ôYeah, I heard about that.ö
ôI had her released the moment I found out, of course. Otherwise IÆd never hear the end of it.ö
ôDid the foie gras guy file a complaint?ö
ôWell, thatÆs just the thing. HeÆs been murdered.ö
ôMurdered!ö said Chase, the wooden spoon hovering over the pan. ôWhat do you mean, murdered?ö
ôJust what IÆm telling you. Cotton Karat has been found murdered this morning. So you and Odelia better get out there ASAP and see whatÆs going on. Meanwhile IÆll take care of these for you,ö he added, sticking his fork into a glistening strip of bacon.
ôOut there where?ö asked Chase.
ôDuck farm,ö said the Chief, tucking into his bacon with visible relish. ôAnd get this, his liver has been removed.ö
Chase gulped at this.ôHis liver was removed?ö
ôUh-huh,ö said Uncle Alec, chomping his meaty treat with unabashed delight. ôCut out of his body with a carving knife.ö
ôIs that what killed him?ö
Uncle Alec shrugged.ôGuess so. IÆm not a doctor, but IÆd say itÆs probably tough to survive your liver being removed with a carving knife. Got any more of this stuff?ö
Odelia had also arrived downstairs, and as the Chief filled her in on what had happened with Mr. Karat, it was obvious that contrary to Uncle Alec, neither Odelia or Chase had any desire to have breakfast after the gruesome details of the murder had been placed before him. The upshot was that the Chief got to eat their portions of bacon, too.
I guess when youÆre an involuntary vegetarian, itÆs all about those silver linings.
Chapter 9
It was our first murder case in a while, and obviously the killer hadnÆt stinted on the gore. When we arrived, the dead man was lying on his back in what appeared to be a pile of duck muck. Which wasnÆt all that surprising since this was, after all, a duck farm.
Abe Cornwall, the county coroner, sat hunched down over the corpse, and was scratching his head with an air of bewilderment. He looked up when we arrived.
ôHe seems to be missing his liver,ö said the frizzy-haired coroner.
ôYeah, the Chief intimated as much,ö said Chase.
ôOh, he did, did he?ö said Abe as he got to his feet with some effort and a certain creaking of the joints. ôWell, if itÆs true that the killer took the manÆs liver, I think IÆve just solved the murder for you.ö He spread his arms. ôMust be Hannibal Lecter, in need of a liver enjoyed with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.ö
And chuckling unreservedly at his own little joke, he tore off his plastic gloves.
ôSo is that what killed him, you think?ö asked Odelia, ignoring the gallows humor.
ôIÆm not sure,ö said Abe, fingering his fleshy chin. ôHeÆs got a nasty bruise on the back of his head and his throat is slightly engorged.ö
ôKnocked unconscious, then strangled?ö
ôNo, not strangled. More as ifà someone forced something down his throat. Though I doubt thatÆs what killed him. I didnÆt find any other obvious injuries. No stab wounds or contusions. No defensive wounds on hands or arms. Nothing underneath his fingernails. In fact he appears to have been in excellent health before he lost one of his vital organs.ö