She gave him a dark look. “Chase and I have no love life to spice up. We’re not dating, Uncle Alec.”
“Then maybe you should start. I think you guys would be great together. I know for a fact he likes you, Odelia. Likes you a lot.”
“He... he told you?”
“He didn’t have to. I can tell from the way he talks about you. He admires the hell out of you. Thinks you’d make a great detective.”
“That’s because he doesn’t know… my little secret.”
“He doesn’t have to know. Besides, even without Max and Dooley you still make a great detective. You just have a knack for it.”
“Thanks. It’s just that… what if he found out? I mean, not just for me. I have to think about Mom and Gran, too. Nobody can find out. They’d just label us freaks. And the attention that would garner would destroy us.”
“Nobody is going to find out, honey,” he said softly. “And even if Chase got an inkling, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. And he definitely wouldn’t tell on you.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “It’s much harder to keep something like that a secret when you’re involved with a person.”
“Of course. And if you are serious about him, I think sooner or later you’re going to have to come clean.”
She shook her head. “Never. I’d rather not date him than tell him.”
“Then you’d be making a big mistake,” he warned her.
“It would be an even bigger mistake to tell him,” she insisted. “He wouldn’t understand. Nobody does.”
“I do.”
“That’s different, Uncle Alec. You’re family. You grew up with it. Chase is—”
“Chase could be family. I know the boy, Odelia. He’s got a good heart.”
She was still shaking her head when the Chief’s phone rang. He picked up with a jovial, “Lay it on me!” He listened for a moment, then his face fell and he removed his feet from the desk. “Well, I’ll be damned. Are you sure it’s her? Uh-huh. Okay. I’ll be right over.” He hung up and stared at Odelia.
“Well? What is it?” she insisted.
“It’s your grandmother. There’s been an incident.”
Her heart constricted as she shot up from her chair. “Is she all right?”
The Chief grinned. “More than all right, apparently. There’s talk of indecent exposure.”
She closed her eyes. “Oh, no.”
“Oh, yes. Several beachgoers complained to one of the lifeguards near Pyke Point that an old woman and an old guy were going at it on the beach, in full view of the other visitors. The lifeguard called the cops and your gran and the guy have both been placed under arrest.” He shook his head. “I never thought that the day would come I’d have to bust my own mother for lurid behavior.”
“If it’s any consolation, I never thought the day would come I’d be embarrassed by my own grandmother.”
“Well,” said Uncle Alec, getting up and slipping on his gun belt. “The day has come, honey. So let’s see what she’s got to say for herself, shall we?”
Chapter 11
Dooley and I were strutting our stuff along the beach. Dooley had been trying hard to picture a nice fat juicy chicken wing but so far he wasn’t having any luck.
“It’s not working, Max,” he lamented.
“Just keep on trying. You have to give it some time.”
“But I’m trying very hard.”
“Creating stuff with your mind is just like with all other stuff, Dooley,” I told him sternly. “It takes a lot of practice.”
“Do you think so?”
“Sure! Do you think Beyoncé popped out of the womb and sang like a nightingale? Of course not! Or do you think Garfield could eat all of that lasagna straight out of the gate? The cat had to train his stomach! Took years!”
“Yes, I see,” he said, nodding seriously. “So if I keep on trying it’ll happen, right?”
“It will happen, Dooley,” I assured him. “You just keep on visualizing chicken wings and they will come flying. At first maybe you’ll just get a few feathers, then maybe a bone, but eventually the chicken wings will come your way and you’ll be able to feast on them to your heart’s content.”
“All right,” he finally said, fully convinced now. “Like you said, it all takes practice. So I’ll just practice very hard from now on. Practice practice practice. I’ll be thinking about chicken wings morning, noon and night and they will come.”
“That’s the spirit,” I said, glad he’d finally stopped moaning about his imminent death. So what if chicken wings would dominate our conversations from now on? It was way better than talk about dying, right?
We hopped up on a bench some smart town planners had placed along the boardwalk and gazed out across the ocean. That’s the beauty of a town like Hampton Cove. When being cooped inside your home gets too much for you, you take a stroll along the beach and sniff up some of that refreshing ocean breeze. You have to ignore the thousands of tourists that occupy the beach, of course, sizzling in the sun. It’s a custom I’ve never gotten my head around. Who wants to voluntarily go lie on the sand to be baked alive? I just don’t get it. Good thing us cats are way smarter than that. You’ll never find us slathering ourselves in oil to be broiled or sautéed.
Humans. They’re nuts. But what are you gonna do?
And we sat there watching men building castles out of sand, women jumping over waves, kids filling buckets and then pouring them out again and other humans engaging in other equally pointless activities when suddenly there was some kind of altercation not far from where we sat.
“Hey,” Dooley said, giving me a nudge. “Isn’t that Grandma Poole?”
Grandma Poole’s name isn’t actually Poole but Muffin. Vesta Muffin. But for convenience’s sake everyone calls her Grandma Poole. Sounds a lot better than Grandma Muffin. I glanced over to where Dooley was pointing. An elderly woman and an elderly man were lying on a beach towel, hugging and kissing. And from what I could see, there was some nekkid involved.
“Are you sure? I don’t think Gran would ever—oh, heck, you’re right. It’s Gran, all right.”
“Of course it’s Gran. Do you really think I wouldn’t recognize my own human? But what is she doing, Max?”
“Um…” Now this was going to be awkward. “Remember when Basic Instinct was on television the other night? And Odelia switched it off because there were parts that she felt uncomfortable to let us watch?”
“Oh, yes. That was way weird, huh? Some woman in some bed with some man and then suddenly there was a knife and then the woman had no clothes on?”
“Yes, that was way weird. Well, the same thing is happening with Grandma Poole right now. So I think we better not watch, Dooley.”
“You think watching it will be bad for us, Max?”
“It might be bad for our sense of taste,” I said.
We weren’t the only ones who’d noticed the frolicking old folks. Some parents close to the couple were averting their children’s eyes, while one guy was brazenly filming everything with his smartphone. Then a few irate parents approached the nearest lifeguard, who got on the phone.
“Uh-oh,” I said. “Looks like Gran’s in trouble.”
“You mean Odelia will be cross with her?”
“I think everyone will be cross with her.” Not that she’d mind. Gran doesn’t care. She does whatever she wants and listens to no one. She’s a free spirit who gets more and more out of control with each passing year. At least that’s what Odelia’s mom Marge always says. I don’t know if it’s true. Seems to me that when you’re as old as Gran, most people give you a free pass. But not today. As we watched, a police vehicle trundled up.
“Are the police going to arrest Gran?” Dooley asked.
“Looks like it. Though I’m sure that once they realize she’s the Chief’s mother, they might reconsider.”
“Why is that?”