“I think we better get a couple of officers in there,” said Chase. “Before he attacks your uncle.”
“The monster is dead! The monster is finally dead!”
The Chief hurried out of the room while three officers moved in to restrain Konrad. When he joined them, he was wiping perspiration from his brow. “Phew. The guy just went nuts on me.”
“At least you got your confession,” Odelia said.
They both watched Konrad pick up a chair and smash it on the table. “Yeah, at least we got his confession,” Uncle Alec said, scratching his head.
“The monster is dead! I killed him! I killed him dead! Me! I won!”
Somehow, there was something wrong with this picture, Odelia thought. Whatever Konrad said, she couldn’t help feeling the real killer was still out there.
Chapter 25
Odelia had dropped the three of us off at the police station, where she had some urgent business to take care of. She said there had been some kind of breakthrough in the case of the celebrity chef, so that was great. Most likely Chief Alec had caught the killer and now Hampton Cove would return to its usual peaceful state. It let us off the hook, as we no longer had to root around to catch the killer. Not that I minded. For some reason sleuthing came naturally to me. Probably because I’m a naturally curious cat. It’s just the way I’m wired, I guess.
We were traipsing along Main Street when we saw Gran ducking into some alley with that ancient boyfriend of hers. Oh, God. Not again.
“Wasn’t that your human?” Brutus asked.
Dooley looked up, completely oblivious as usual. “Huh?”
“Gran just went into that alley with Leo,” I said.
“She did? Maybe we should see what she’s up to?” Dooley suggested.
“Why would we want to see what she’s up to?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s really none of our business,” Brutus said, not sounding too keen.
“She’s my human, you guys!” Dooley cried. “I have a responsibility!”
“I think it’s the other way around, Dooley,” I said. “She has a responsibility towards you, not you towards her.”
“It goes both ways,” he said stubbornly. “She looks after me, so I need to look after her. What if this guy Leo is up to no good? What then? And I just sat here while she was being assaulted or something!”
“She’s not being assaulted,” I said. “It’s just that she can’t take Leo home because nobody approves of him, so they’ve gone and taken their affair to the streets.”
“Weird,” said Brutus.
“What’s weird?” I asked.
“I always thought human adults could do whatever they wanted. That it was just teenagers and kids that had to sneak around their parents’ backs.”
“Once you reach a certain age you revert back to the same state of having to sneak around,” I said. “Only now you sneak around your kids’ backs.”
“I still think it’s weird,” Brutus said with a shrug.
Well, it was kinda weird, of course. Once upon a time Marge had probably snuck around with Tex, canoodling in backseats of cars or bushes near the beach, and now it was Gran’s turn to do the same to her daughter. It was probably the circle of life or something. Like The Lion King.
“The more I learn about humans the more I think they’re way weird,” Brutus insisted.
“Better not to think about it too much,” Dooley said.
Of course, Dooley never thought about anything too much, so for him that came naturally.
We’d reached the alley, and darted a peek around the corner, fully expecting to see stuff that would hurt our eyes. Instead, I saw something that horrified me to my core. There was Diego, and there was a cat, but that cat wasn’t Harriet!
“Um, am I seeing this right?” asked Brutus. “Is Diego putting the moves on that feline over there?”
“You are seeing this right!” I said.
We all stared. Diego was doing stuff to that feline I’d never seen before, unless in those nature documentaries on the Discovery Channel. I mean, I have been with a female before, of course, but I’d never done… that!
“What are they doing?” Dooley asked.
“Something that’s not suitable for young viewers,” Brutus growled.
“I’m not a young viewer,” said Dooley.
“Well, you’re not an old viewer either,” Brutus said. He let out a long sigh of relief. “You know what this means, right?”
“That Diego is the hottest stud ever to walk these streets?” I asked.
“No! That Diego is cheating on Harriet.”
“Oh. Right,” I said. I was so fascinated by the moves Diego was demonstrating that the thought of Harriet hadn’t even occurred to me.
Dooley twisted his head to try and get the upside-down view. “No, but what are they doing?” he asked.
“If I tell Harriet about this, she’ll break up with Diego in a heartbeat!” Brutus said.
“She won’t believe you,” I said automatically. I was also twisting my head one-hundred-and-eighty degrees. This stuff was fascinating. I was learning things I’d never seen before, not even on the Discovery Channel.
“She’ll have to believe me!” Brutus exclaimed. “You guys are going to back me up on this, right? You’re my witnesses.”
“Sure. But she won’t believe us either,” I said.
“But why? You’re her friends!”
“Trust me, Brutus. When it comes to matters of the heart, a female feline only believes what she wants to believe. And if she wants to believe Diego is God’s gift to cats, nothing we say will convince her otherwise.”
“We need proof!” Brutus said, searching around. “We need Odelia with her phone. She needs to film this! She needs to get this on video and show Harriet!”
“Even so. Harriet is not going to believe it unless she sees it with her own eyes,” I said. “Trust me on this, Brutus. That’s just the way it is.”
“Oh, God!” he cried. “This is just one big nightmare, isn’t it?”
“Do you think it hurts?” Dooley asked, now lying on his back.
“I don’t think so,” I said.
“But they’re panting. And look at her. She looks like she’s in pain!”
“That’s not an expression of pain, Dooley,” I said. “That’s… rapture.”
“Rapture? What’s rapture?”
“Nothing you’ll ever experience,” I promised him.
“But why?!”
“Just think about the juiciest chicken wing God ever created.”
He frowned, thinking hard. “Uh-huh.”
“Now multiply that sensation by about a million.”
“Oh, my,” he said, eyes widening.
“Exactly.”
“Look, I’m going to get Odelia. She needs to see this,” Brutus said, sounding very agitated. “She’ll back me up. If she says Diego was doing the horizontal mambo with some other chick, Harriet has got to believe her.”
“What’s the horizontal mambo?” Dooley asked.
“Oh, Dooley,” I said with a sigh.
Brutus went off on his fool’s errand, and I stared after him for a moment. And that’s when I saw it. A Tesla, driving along Main Street. A very black Tesla.
“Dooley!” I said.
“Huh?”
“It’s the Tesla!”
He glanced the way I was looking. “Nice wheels.”
“It’s the car that was parked behind the restaurant that night! It’s got to be!”
And before he could respond, I broke into a run, in hot pursuit of the Tesla. I needed to get a glimpse at the license plate. I needed to figure out who that car belonged to. And as I came racing out of the alley, I saw that the car stopped right in front of a boutique store, halfway down the street. Panting, I came running up, and I watched as a tall Asian man stepped from the car and disappeared into the store. He was elegantly dressed in a kind of cape draped across his shoulders, shiny slicked-back black hair and snazzy sunglasses. I glanced at the license plate. It said Z1VR1D1N. I stared. Huh? Then I got it. ZIV RIDING!