“Yes, I did. Everything was arranged through the notary yesterday.”
“Good. Because I think Cybil might contest the will—and your claim.”
Niklaus Skad’s lawyer had revealed as much to Chief Alec when her uncle had interviewed him. Cybil still had no idea, and Odelia thought it was better it stayed that way until the will was officially read.
She watched as Stacie settled down at the edge of the pool and hugged a very wet Puck. At least something good had come out of this, she thought.
Then Puck shook himself, spraying water all over the place. Stacie laughed, and so did Odelia and most of the other guests. Except…
“Hey! Watch that stupid mutt!” Cybil screamed. “He’ll ruin my tan!”
Yep. Sometimes people got exactly what they deserved.
Epilogue
We were all enjoying a leisurely time in Marge and Tex’s backyard. There was good food on the menu, apparently, at least if I went by the cries of delight from Odelia and the grunts of appreciation from Uncle Alec and Chase. Us cats had gotten actual meat for a change, and Dooley had even gotten the chicken wings he’d been craving for. The murder case had been solved, Ziv Riding would spend a nice long stretch in prison, Odelia had postponed our yearly visit to the vet, and everybody was happy.
Well, almost everybody. Diego probably wasn’t happy. There was no way of knowing for sure, of course, as he hadn’t shown his face around these parts since his unfortunate run-in with Clarice. And Gran wasn’t too happy, either, as her beau Leo was still strutting his stuff with Jackie Canolli. But I wasn’t going to let her spoil the fun.
“So what about that Leo, huh?” Dooley asked, tucking into another bit of chicken. “Left my human broken-hearted. Maybe we should do something about him?”
“Like what? Put a horse’s head in his bed? Break his legs? Rough him up? We’re cats, Dooley. We don’t mess with humans.”
“Unless they mess with our humans,” said Dooley. “Like this guy Leo.”
We were out on the porch, tucking into our bowls. I darted a quick look at Harriet and Brutus, who were out near the tree next to the hedge, smooching.
“When are they ever going to get enough of each other?” I asked.
Dooley followed my gaze and shrugged. “It’s love, Max. It’s beautiful.”
I slowly turned to him. “It’s love, it’s beautiful? What happened to ‘Brutus is a monster for stealing Harriet away from me?’ I thought you loved Harriet.”
“I do love Harriet, but I’ve come to realize that if you truly love a cat, you need to be happy when they’re happy. You have to set them free to follow their hearts. And if Harriet’s heart leads her to Brutus, well, then that’s fine by me.”
I stared at him. “Who are you and what have you done to my friend?”
Dooley grinned. “I’m growing up, Max, what about that? Maybe one of these days I might even have a shot with Norma.”
“Oh, so that’s the deal. You like Norma now.”
“Well, she is pretty.”
“She sure is. She’s also high-maintenance.”
He frowned. “What’s high-maintenance, Max?”
“When a cat wants you to fetch her Swiss chocolates or else.”
“I’ll fetch her Swiss chocolates. I’ll fetch her all the Swiss chocolates she needs,” he said.
He had that dumb look in his eyes that goes along with being in love. Yeah, Dooley had it bad, I saw. So that’s why he was cool with Harriet and Brutus. He’d transferred his affections to another queen. Well, maybe it was for the best. At least he wouldn’t bother me with his endless moaning about Harriet.
“Don’t you think she has the most beautiful eyes, Max? Like rays of sunshine? Or, better yet, golden orbs that reflect the world’s early dawn?”
Oh, crap. This was even worse.
Harriet and Brutus walked up. Apparently you can’t live on love alone, for Brutus barked, “Where’s my meat? I thought we were getting meat? You two morons didn’t eat my meat, did you? Cause if you did, there’ll be hell to pay!”
“Here’s your meat,” I said, indicating Brutus’s bowl.
“Good,” he muttered. “I need meat. I’m a meat-eating cat.”
“I think we’ve established that,” I said.
He glanced up, a piece of raw liver between his teeth. “Giving me lip, Maxie? Better don’t give me any lip. I’m the one that got us this meat. Without me, there would be kibble on the menu. So better pay me some respect.”
I blinked. “Um, are you feeling all right, Brutus?”
“Course I’m feeling all right.” He grinned at Harriet, his bloodied teeth an awful sight. “I’m feeling on top of the world, ain’t that right, snuggle puss?”
“That’s right, my cuddle man.”
Then he dug in again.
I directed a worried look at Dooley, but he was still dreaming about Norma, his face displaying a moronic look. Well, even more moronic than usual.
I sidled up to Harriet. “Is Brutus all right? He seems… aggressive.”
“He’s just fine,” said Harriet, darting loved-up looks at her cat. “I told him that the reason I was so attracted to Diego was because he acted like a real cat. A butch cat, if you know what I mean. Not like you and Dooley, who are just a tad too sweet for my taste.” She sighed. “I love a cat who’s tough and strong. A catly cat. And I think Brutus got the message loud and clear.”
I groaned. “You turned him back into a bully?”
“Not a bully,” she said with a look of reproach. “A catly cat.”
“What does that even mean?!”
Brutus looked up. “Hey! Don’t talk to my lady like that, Max. Show some respect.”
“Brutus, my friend,” I began.
He gave me the evil eye. “Don’t go getting all soft on me again, Max. We’re all catly cats together. There’s no reason to get mushy.” He directed a grin at Harriet. “Isn’t that right, sugar lips?”
“That’s absolutely right, my stud muffin,” she cooed.
Brutus took me aside, and whispered, “Just play along, Max! She likes me all butch and macho so butch and macho is what she gets. Capisce?”
“But I liked you better when you were, you know, normal!”
Brutus rolled his eyes. “Haven’t you ever been in love, Max?”
“Um, no?”
He punched my chest. “Fall in love, and then we’ll talk again. And now don’t cramp my style, buddy. I’m warning you. Don’t ruin this for me.”
“What are you two whispering about, Brutus?” Harriet asked.
“Just telling this chump what’s what, my queen.” Quieter, he hissed, “I like you, Max. I like you a lot, and I wanna thank you for what you did for me. But this is how it’s gonna be from now on, got me?” Then, louder again, “You little weasel! If you talk to me like that again, I’m kicking your big, hairy, orange butt!”
And then he stalked off, leaving me staring after him, floored.
Oh, great. Instead of a real bully, now I got the Actors Studio version.
Dooley wandered over. “Don’t you think Norma’s fur is the color of—”
“No, I don’t!” I interrupted him brutally. “And please don’t talk to me about that cat again. Ever!”
Dooley stared at me, rudely awakened from his roseate dream. And as I sat there, moping, suddenly Harriet stole over to me. She gave me a gentle shove. “Maxie,” she said in a sultry voice. “I never saw this side of you before. When did you become all dominant and butch?”
I stared at her. “Huh?”
She giggled, a low and seductive sound. “I like this new Max a lot better than the old one. How about we share a piece of chicken?”
This was just too much. After all this nonsense with Diego, and now Brutus, she wanted to steal my chicken? No way! “You’ve got your own damn piece of chicken,” I snapped. “I’m not sharing mine.”