“’No, that’s me talking. I think you’re gorgeous, Detective Kingsley. And I thank you for saving my life.”
Uncle Alec shuffled uncomfortably.“I’ll give you kids some space,” he muttered, and got up.
“The Chief is right, Odelia,” said Chase. “Please don’t pull a stunt like this again. Next time call me first.”
“I will,” she promised him. “And my cats, of course.”
“Of course. Where would we be without your cats?”
“Nowhere! They solved this whole thing! Well, Dooley did, at least.”
“Of course he did. Let’s get you out of here. You’re not making any sense.”
He helped her to her feet and she leaned on him as they walked away from that fateful sauna cabin. She noticed someone had dressed her in a thick sweater. Since it said NYPD on the front she assumed it was Chase’s. “What happened to my bra and panties? They must have been soaked.”
“I… removed them,” he said, blushing slightly. “But I looked away as I did.”
“Of course you did,” she said, placing her hand on his chest and squeezing.
“Now what was that about me being a gorgeous rescuing angel again?” he asked when they were out in the open, and making their way to his car.
“Oh, you liked that, didn’t you?”
“It’s not something I hear every day.”
“Well, if you propose to me, Chase Kingsley, I promise I will tell you all that and more.”
He eyed her sternly.“Still the drugs talking. Let’s get you to your father.”
“Yes, because you’ll have to ask his approval. He’s old-fashioned he is, my dad.”
“Ask for his approval, huh?”
“Yep. Ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage.”
“And if he doesn’t approve?”
“Then you’re shit out of luck, buster.”
He laughed.“Now I know it’s the drugs talking.”
“I’m serious!”
“So am I. Let’s get you home and into your jammies.”
“Ooh. Naughty naughty, Detective.”
Unfortunately, the moment she stepped into his car, she passed out again. She had a dim recollection of Chase carrying her up the stairs and tucking her into bed. He pressed a kiss to her brow, hoisted Max onto the bed and then she fell into a well-deserved sleep.
Epilogue
When I finally looked up from my bowl, I was feeling extremely pleased with myself. In the days that had passed since Odelia had caught Donna’s killer, I’d stuck to my diet and Dooley had stuck to his. And as I had slimmed down, Dooley had packed on the pounds. It was probably too much to say we were the same weight, but we were a lot closer in size than before. Dooley would always be a skinny cat, of course, and me a more sizable one, but I liked to think we’d both benefited from this uncomfortable episode in our lives.
When Chase had brought Odelia home, half unconscious, it had come as quite a shock to us, and when I’d seen her like that, I’d sworn that I was going to lose those pounds no matter what. We’d obviously let our human down in her hour of need and I was feeling very badly about it, even though Odelia said there was nothing we could have done.
I still felt that if I’d been more alert, we would never have allowed her to go off without her feline assistants by her side. I needed to be fitter, healthier and stronger than ever, if I was going to be my human’s protector, and for some strange reason all of a sudden I didn’t feel so hungry again all the time, or so weak. And even the diet food suddenly tasted better.
Which just goes to show: it’s all a matter of psychology. I once saw that on the Discovery Channel, so it must be true.
It was barbecue time at the Pooles again, and for the occasion Odelia had placed four bowls in a row, our names printed on the sides: Max, Dooley, Harriet and Brutus. The fearsome foursome. And for the first time in days, I wasn’t eating diet kibble but an actual piece of red meat!
All the usual suspects were present and accounted for: Tex and Marge, Vesta, Uncle Alec, Odelia and Chase. After we’d eaten our fill, us cats jumped up on the porch swing and settled in for the evening, watching our humans eat. Watching humans is actually one of my favorite hobbies, apart from cat choir and snooping around, of course.
Odelia wandered over, a Coke Zero in her hand.“And? How was the food?”
“Delicious,” I said. “Though I don’t feel like I deserve it.”
“Oh, stop it, Max,” she said with a smile. “You guys cracked this case.”
“No, Dooley did,” I said honestly. “I just slept right through the whole thing.”
“You all worked together, just like you’re supposed to. And I’m very proud of you. All of you.”
“You are?” asked Harriet, who’d been feeling kinda bummed out at the role she’d played. Or not played.
“Yes, I am. You guys are a real team. My fierce feline team.”
“Talking to your cats again?” Chase asked, ambling up.
Odelia turned to him.“Of course I am. I’m crazy cat lady, remember?”
“You’re my lady,” he said huskily, and took her in an embrace. Smooching ensued, and cheers rang out from Odelia’s family. It was safe to say this burly cop was a big hit with the Poole clan.
Just then, a skinny, pimply UPS guy arrived in their midst, and asked,“Vesta Muffin? Who’s Vesta Muffin?”
“Oh, God. Not again,” Tex muttered.
“That’s me,” said Gran. “Right here, buddy.” She took reception of a small package and signed off on it. And then she went and handed it to… Marge. “Here you go, honey. This is for you.”
Marge gave her mother a look of surprise.“For me? Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am. And I even paid for it with my own money.”
Marge opened the package, and discovered it contained a pair of gold hoops.“Mom!”
Gran nodded.“Just my way of apologizing for all that hoopla with the bees.”
Mom wiped away a tear and took her mother in an embrace.“I love you, Mom.”
“And I love you, honey. Thanks for putting up with me all these years. I know it can’t have been easy.”
Us cats also wiped away tears. Humans. They can really surprise you sometimes.
And as the Pooles sat down for dinner, Marge showing off her gold hoops and Tex showing off his barbecue skills, Uncle Alec and Chase discussed the case and Gran… was carefully looking around, then, when she was sure no one was watching, took the box that had contained Marge’s hoops and retrieved it. And as she stalked off towards the house, I thought I could hear a definite buzzing sound coming from inside that box. When she saw four cats watching herevery move, she pressed her finger to her lips. “Not a word, all right?” she whispered, and disappeared inside.
Humans. They’re completely bananas. Or is it beeneenees?
“So Dooley cracked this case, huh, Max?” asked Brutus. “And you slept right through it.”
I might have admitted this to Odelia but I wasn’t going to admit it to Brutus. “Dooley cracked this case but he had a lot of help from me,” I said therefore.
“Max is right,” said Dooley. “I could never have done it without him.”
“But you’re the one who discovered that telling bit about the bees, right?” Brutus insisted.
I saw where he was going with this.“Let me stop you right there, Brutus,” I said. “I was the one who taught Dooley how to surf the web, so technically I’m the one who discovered that clue.”
“Horse manure,” Brutus growled. “You admitted yourself you were passed out on the couch at the time while Dooley did all the heavy lifting. He’s the real hero here. Isn’t that right, Harriet?”
Harriet was otherwise engaged, though, as she sat staring out at the hedge at the end of the garden.“Mh?” she asked finally, when Brutus nudged her. “Oh, you’re right, smooching partner. Dooley solved this case. He won fair and square.”
“It wasn’t a contest,” Dooley muttered, eyeing me uncertainly. “You heard Odelia. We all worked together. Played our part. We’re a real team. Odelia’s fierce feline team.”