He nodded sadly.“Yeah, I was there. And let me tell you, it wasn’t a killer dog that did it. It was a human. Not that I mind humans slaughtering each other. I mean, it’s what they do. But they shouldn’t slaughter my human.”
“I guess,” I said dubiously. I didn’t agree with him, though. All the humans I knew were pretty great, and they would definitely not slaughter other humans. But I guess I could see where he was coming from.
“You know, I don’t even want to know. It’s all so very troubling.”
“But you can confirm that the killer was a masked intruder, right?”
“Yeah. A masked intruder with a big meat cleaver. And now can you please just leave me alone so I can properly wallow in my misery? This is quickly turning into the worst day of my entire life.”
“All right, Kane,” I said, walking over and patting him on the back, being careful not to use my claws. “I’m sorry for your loss, buddy.”
“Yeah, yeah. Save it for the funeral. Oh, and when you see that deranged friend of yours? Tell him that if he ever comes near me again…” He hesitated, thinking hard. Then his face cleared. “Tell him I’ll sic my killer dog friend with the jaws of steel on him, and he’ll devour him in onechomp.”
Dooley was surprised.“I thought you said the killer dog didn’t exist?”
Kane grinned.“Well, he doesn’t know that, does he?”
Which just goes to show even dogs have a measure of intelligence.
Dooley and I stalked off, leaving Kane to feel sorry for himself.
“I kinda dig that dog,” said Dooley. “He’s goofy but nice.”
“Yeah, he’s all right, as dogs go,” I said noncommittally.
“A little sad, though.”
“Which is to be expected. If Odelia were killed I’d be sad, too.”
“You’d still have me and Harriet and Marge and Gran and Dr. Poole.”
“True, but Kane has the rest of the Kenspeckles and he’s still sad.”
Kane had Shayonne, Shalonda, Shantel, Sandy, Steel, Camille and Starr Kenspeckle to take care of him. Obviously they were no match for Shana.
We wandered out of the kitchen and down the corridor to the suite of bedrooms. At the end, the corridor took a left turn, ending in an airy and light atrium, where a flight of stairs led down into a basement, and up to the second floor. Voices drifted up to us, so we decided to go and take a look.
“Hey, this might lead to the underground dungeon where the Kenspeckles keep their killer dog,” said Dooley.
“We’ve established that, that dog is a figment of Brutus’s imagination, Dooley.”
“Oh. Right. I forgot. Still, it would be pretty cool if was real, huh?”
“I don’t think so. A dog like that—if it did exist—would eat us for breakfast. Literally. And I don’t know about you, but I value my life.”
All nine of them, actually. We trotted down the stairs and found ourselves in a pretty neat space. Several rooms led off a center hallway. The signs on the doors announced this was where we could find a bar, a game room, an office, a library, and even a nightclub.
“Hey, this is way cool,” said Dooley.
“Yeah, like a playhouse for grownups.”
As we neared the end, the voices became louder, and we saw that we’d arrived at the Spa& Wellness Center. The glass door was a little steamed up, and I pushed it open with my paw. We found ourselves in a darkened space, wall sconces casting a dim light, soft new age music providing a meditative atmosphere. Two men were face down on massage tables while two young ladies in white uniforms worked out the kinks in their shoulders and backs.
“Now this is what I’m talking about,” I said. “This is the life.”
“Being kneaded like a hunk of dough? We’re cats, Max, not bread.”
“It’s a massage parlor,” I said. “This is where they massage your muscles until they’re smooth and flexible.”
“My muscles are always smooth and flexible.”
I glanced at the skinny ragamuffin.“That’s because you don’t have any.”
“That’s not possible, Max,” he said. “Without muscles my skeleton would simply collapse.”
I keep forgetting that Dooley also watches the Discovery Channel. And it seems that from time to time he even manages to pay attention.
We ambled over to take a closer look, and I saw that both men had their heads stuffed into some kind of leather donut attached to the table. But even though their faces looked all scrunched-up and funny, they still managed to keep up a conversation. I now recognized them as Dion Dread, Shayonne’s husband, and Alejandro Salanova, the director of the Kenspeckles show. Neither man paid any attention to us, as usual. They were too busy talking.
“So it’s a done deal, then?” asked Dion.
“I still have to run it by the network,” said Alejandro.
“But that’s just a formality, right? As long as the producer’s on board, the network is bound to give us the go-ahead.”
“Yeah, I think it’s a cinch. We’ve never done a show like this before. What happens after you’ve been dumped by a Kenspeckle. It’s bound to be a hit.”
“I haven’t been dumped,” Dion protested. “Shayonne and I parted ways amicably. Irreconcilable differences and all of that stuff.”
“You can’t bullshit me, Dion. I was there when you had your big showdown with Shayonne, remember? Too bad the cameras weren’t rolling, or we wouldn’t have to reshoot those scenes. And at such a bad time, too.”
“Great time, you mean. All the attention is going to be on us now, with Shana’s body being found and the police sniffing around for the killer.”
“Well, that’s one way of looking at it, I guess.”
“Always look for the silver lining, Alejandro. That’s my motto.” He tried to grin, but it was hard with his face squeezed into that funny-looking donut.
I shared a look with Dooley. So Dion was getting his own show. That wasn’t going to sit well with the Kenspeckles. The only reason he’d risen to fame was because he’d married into the family. Now he was going to try and monetize that fame by establishing his own brand. I could see that this entire breakup with Shayonne and the murder of Shana was going to be benefiting him. If that wasn’t enough motive for murder I didn’t know what was.
“We have to tell Odelia,” I told Dooley.
“Tell her what? That two guys are getting a massage in the basement?”
“That Dion is getting his own show. I’ll bet it’s a big secret.”
“So? Getting his own show doesn’t make him a murderer, does it?”
“It sure does. He could have set this all up to launch his new show.”
Dooley gave me a worried look.“That sounds pretty far-fetched, Max.”
“No more far-fetched than a giant killer dog biting people’s heads off.”
He laughed, and then I laughed, and then we both laughed up a storm. It’s fun to laugh at a bully, at least when he’s not around. Until he is.
“Laugh all you want, bozos,” a gruff voice suddenly announced.
When we whirled around, we saw Brutus right behind us, looking pissed.
I gulped a little.“And? Any luck finding your vicious killer dog?”
Next to me, Dooley tried to suppress a giggle, but failed miserably.
Brutus fixed us with his best scowl.“I didn’t find a killer dog, but I did just overhear a very interesting conversation. A conversation that will interest Odelia a lot.”
“Hey. We heard it first,” I said, alarmed.
“Yeah, andwe’re going to tell Odelia,” Dooley added.
Brutus gave us an evil grin.“Not if I tell her first, you’re not.”
And then he slammed the door to the Spa& Wellness Center in our faces.
Chapter 12
The interview concluded, Odelia and Chase crossed the lawn back to the house. They’d briefly talked to the cameraman. His name was Burr Newberry and he’d been out partying all night. He met a nice girl in a beach bar and they’d spent the night together. Since Odelia happened to know the girl, she’d called her and she’d confirmed Burr’s alibi. He was in the clear.