“I haven’t put aside any differences,” said Harriet through gritted teeth. The words came out in a low growl and Chase frowned and checked his rearview mirror.
“One of your cats doesn’t sound happy, babe,” he said.
“Oh, she’s probably nervous, that’s all,” said Odelia.
“Nervous? How can she be nervous? She doesn’t have a clue where we’re going.”
“Cats have an instinct for these things,” she explained.
“Um, I guess,” he said doubtfully. Chase was not a big believer in the abilities of cats to solve murders. Then again, he also had no idea Odelia could understand every word we said and vice versa. Probably best to keep it that way, too, or else he might start interfering in this holy alliance between man and beast, as Tex had once called it.
“The only reason I’m going along on this trip is because Odelia asked me to,” Harriet repeated, in case we hadn’t heard her the first dozen times. “You’re not off the hook, Brutus.”
“I understand that and I regret it deeply,” said Brutus. “What more can I do than to apologize once again for any misunderstanding my behavior may have caused and to—”
“Misunderstanding? That was no misunderstanding. Your nose was practically glued to Darlene’s butt.”
“It was a case of wrong perspective!” he cried.
“Yeah, just keep telling yourself that,” she said, and looked out the window, determined not to give Brutus another glance.
“So what is our mission, Max?” asked Dooley.
“Mission. Nice,” said Brutus with a chuckle. When Harriet shot him a frosty glance, breaking her own rule not to look at him, the chuckle turned into a choked chortle, then quickly died away.
“Our mission—should we choose to accept it—is to talk to that Chihuahua and extract information from the mutt with any means at our disposal.”
“Chihuahua?” said Harriet, looking up in surprise. “Nobody said anything about a dog.”
“A Chihuahua, as Odelia has gone to great pains to explain, is not just any dog. A Chihuahua is a noble breed and amongst the sweetest and most innocuous of its kind. I’m sure we’ll get along great with the little mutt.”
“I’m not going near that dog. No way. Dogs stink.”
In the front seat, Odelia suppressed a snicker, causing Chase to give her a look of concern.
“Dogs don’t stink,” I said, with a glance at the back of Odelia’s head. I was nothing if not a loyal soldier to my general. So I dutifully conveyed her words to the rest of her troops. “A dog may have a very particular odor, but to characterize that odor as foul is in the eye of the beholder.”
“The nose of the beholder, you mean,” said Harriet.
“Right.”
“Dogs stink and I’m not coming near that mutt,” she insisted. “And that’s my final word. If you want to talk to the filthy creature, that’s up to you. But I’m going to look for a more palatable and civilized creature to talk to. Every mansion worth its salt must have a cat roaming around someplace, and I’m going to find it.”
“You just don’t want to be near me. Admit it,” said Brutus with a pained expression.
“I’m not admitting a thing until you admit your nose was so far up Darlene’s butt you could fondle her tonsils.”
“I’m not admitting something that didn’t happen,” said Brutus.
“Oh, you are going to confess, buster.”
“This isn’t a Syrian torture chamber and you can’t make me confess a thing.”
“Confess!” she screamed and flew across Dooley and my laps to tear into Brutus.
It took Odelia a little time to part both cats, and when finally she managed, Brutus had a bloody scratch across his nose and there was a drop of blood on Harriet’s otherwise pristine white fur that hadn’t been there before.
“And now behave, the both of you,” said Odelia in a voice I hadn’t heard her use before. She would have made a great taskmaster, I thought. Or owner of a kennel.
“You scratched me!” Brutus cried, aghast. “You actually drew blood!”
“Serves you right,” said Harriet from her corner.
“My nose! It will never look the same again!”
“Show it to Darlene. Maybe she’ll lick it for you.”
“I’ll have a scar!”
“I’m sure Darlene loves her men scarred.”
“I don’t care about Darlene!”
Dooley and I shared a look of concern. This cold war had just escalated into a full-blown hot war, and I wasn’t sure I liked it. Once the gloves came off, there was no telling whose face Harriet would dig her claws into next. Already she’d determined Dooley and I were collaborating with the enemy, so all bets were off. From now on, no one was safe.
“So how are we going to sneak into the manor?” asked Chase.
“I thought you might have a plan. You’re a cop, after all. Don’t you cops get trained to pick locks and stuff?”
“We do, but since this was your idea I figured you had a plan all cooked up and ready to execute.”
Brutus winced at the mention of the word execute. He darted a quick glance at Harriet, then continued licking his injured nose. For what it was worth, I figured it was only a small price to pay for his stupidity. Everyone in cat choir knew Darlene was a tease and a loose cat and everyone steered clear of her because of that fact. Now Brutus knew, too.
“I figured I’d just… wing it, you know,” said Odelia.
Chase laughed.“Wing it. I like that. Why don’t we simply go in through the basement? When I was checking out the manor this afternoon I noticed the lock is broken on the second basement window from the right. A good shove and we’re in.”
Odelia turned to Chase, a look of surprise on her face.“You were planning this before I even got the idea!”
“I wasn’t planning anything. Just happened to check the perimeter for possible weaknesses and just happened to notice the window.” His grin vanished. “Truth be told, Wolf asked us to give his security team a thorough screening. Dany being killed in broad daylight like that? There is obviously something wrong with the way security is organized.”
“I don’t think Wolf has any security to speak of. At least not that I ever noticed.”
“He has a few people on his payroll, but they’re not highly skilled or organized. I told him to hire a professional crew and that’s what he promised me he’d do.”
“You also told him about the wonky window?”
The grin returned.“I decided to wait until after the new team arrived.” He shrugged. “What? I know how your mind works, babe. You just love this breaking and entering stuff.”
“I do love this breaking and entering stuff,” she admitted. “And you know what else I love right now?”
“I have no idea,” he said, his grin widening.
“You, you big doofus. C’mere.”
“Not while I’m driving, babe.”
“C’mere!”
There ensued yet another one of those scenes that are incredibly awkward for cats to watch.
Humans kissing.
Yuck.
Chapter 21
It was well past midnight now, but the light in some of the windows of Whitmore Manor was still shining as bright as day. Then again, these were creative people. Actors. And clearly actors, like vampires, preferred to live at night and eschew daylight.
“Looks like they’re not asleep yet,” said Chase, glancing up at the three or four lit up windows. He settled back in his car seat, which he’d cranked back. “We’re in for a long wait, babe.”
“I’m going to let the cats out,” she said. “They’re not going to be comfortable cooped up inside the car. And she opened the door to let us out. We jumped at the chance. Well, all of us except Harriet, who still didn’t seem keen to join in the nocturnal adventure.
I gave Odelia a wave of the tail goodbye and she closed the door again. I just knew there would be plenty more nookie and I was glad she’d spared us having to witness it.
“So how are we going to get in?” asked Brutus.