“Hey, Big Mac,” I said, giving the cat a little wave.
“Hey, you,” he said, then blinked confusedly. He picked up a piece of burger and stared at it, then back at me. “Some joker put shrooms in my burger. I’m hallucinating.”
“No, you’re not. I’m really here,” I said. “My name is Max, and this…” I searched around for Dooley. “Um… Anyway. I’m here because Clarice sent me. You know Clarice, right?”
The big cat shivered visibly.“I wish I didn’t. She scares me.”
“She scares me, too.”
Big Mac jumped down from the dumpster without dropping the piece of burger, which made him a superhero in my book. He studied me intently for a few moments, while I studied him. He was a little pudgier, but otherwise he could have been my brother from another mother. Or maybe even from the same mother. I’m not big on genealogy, so I never bothered to create my family tree, but now might be a good time to correct the oversight.
“Was your mom—” I began.
“Was your mom—” he simultaneously said.
We both grinned awkwardly.
“Were you born—” I said.
“Were you born—” he said.
From behind us, suddenly Dooley’s voice rang out. “Oh. My. God. You guys lookexactly the same!”
“Well, I’m a little slimmer,” I said.
“You look really fit,” said Big Mac. “Have you been working out?”
“Nah, not really,” I said. “I just try to watch what I eat.”
“He doesn’t,” said Dooley. “Odelia puts him on a diet from time to time, though.”
“Odelia? Is that your human?” asked Big Mac.
I nodded.“She’s great.”
“How long have you had her?”
“Straight from the litter,” I said.
“I don’t actually remember my mother,” said Big Mac, taking a tentative bite from the burger, then munching with enthusiasm when he failed to detect the taste of shrooms. “I mean, I know I had a mother, but my first memories are a little hazy. I remember I was with this old lady, but then she died, and I got transferred to her daughter, who didn’t like cats, and then she passed me on to her cousin, who liked cats so much she kept a dozen, which was pretty horrible.”
I nodded. Most cats hate other cats. Dooley and I are the exceptions to the rule, I guess. We genuinely like each other, and most other cats we meet. We’re weird that way.
Big Mac heaved a deep sigh as he delved deep into his recollection.“Lemme see, what happened next—Oh, that’s right. She got arrested for growing weed.” He spread his paws. “And that’s how I ended up here.”
“On the street,” I said, nodding. “Living from crumbs and scraps.”
He frowned.“Are you kidding? My human runs this McDonald’s. Feeds me all the burgers I want. He’s the weed woman’s brother and promised to look after us as long as his sister enjoys the hospitality of the Suffolk County penal system. Only problem is that since I live with him I’ve gained ten pounds.By the time Sissy gets released she won’t recognize me.” He devoured the final remnants of the burger and burped. “So what did Clarice want?”
“I don’t get it,” said Dooley. “If this man feeds you all the food you want, why are you—”
“Checking out this dumpster?” He shrugged. “Variety. You wouldn’t believe what people throw away. Once I found a container of perfectly good chicken nuggets in here.”
“But if you want chicken nuggets, why don’t you ask your human?” said Dooley.
Big Mac stared at him, then laughed.“Ask my human! As if he could understand a word I say! You’re funny, little guy.”
I decided not to mention that our human could understand us perfectly. It would probably boggle his mind. Not to mention he might think we were yanking his chain.
“Clarice actually sent us here because she thought you might be a witness to a murder,” I said, deciding to dispense with the chitchat and get down to brass tacks.
Big Mac’s eyes went wide as… Big Macs. “Murder!”
“Over at the Hampton Cove library. Were you by any chance hanging out there?”
“I was,” he said. “But I didn’t see no murder. Not a one.”
“It happened inside the library. Around eight o’clock-ish. Did you see anyone go in through the back entrance around that time?”
Big Mac thought hard, even sinking down on his haunches and puckering up his face.“Yeah,” he said finally. “In fact I saw several people go in. I didn’t pay them a lot of attention. Except for the pizza guy. I love pizza.” He licked his lips. “The one thing McDonald’s doesn’t have. Which is the reason I like to head into town of an evening. There’s a crazy tasty pizza joint right around the corner from the library. In fact there are two.”
“Could you… identify these people?” I asked. “I mean, if you saw them again, would you recognize them?”
“Sure. Why? Do you think one of them was a killer?”
I nodded, an idea forming in my head.“What do you say we take you downtown to look at some pictures? And when you’re through our human will buy you the biggest, juiciest, most delicious pizza you can imagine.”
He licked his lips.“You’ve got to be kidding, right?”
“No, I’m not kidding,” I said.
“He’s not kidding,” Dooley confirmed.
“Any pizza I want?”
“Any pizza you want.”
“Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy,” he said, rubbing his tummy. “You really are my brother, aren’t you? And if you’re not, you must be Santa Claus and Christmas came early this year!”
Chapter 14
Odelia was convening with her uncle and Chase in Alec’s office. This was business as usual for them. The only difference was that this time Gran had joined them and was now lecturing her son on how to do his job.
“Didn’t I tell you to go home, Ma?” asked Uncle Alec wearily, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.
“You can’t keep a good sleuth down,” Gran insisted with a wink in Odelia’s direction.
“Oh, boy,” Chase muttered, earning himself a scowl from the old lady.
“I think he did it,” she said. “He’s got that guilty look.”
“I hate to agree with you, but I think for once you’re right,” said the Chief.
“For once? I’m always right,” said Gran.
Alec ignored her.“This guy has a rap sheet as long as my arm. He’s been arrested for stealing so many times it’s a miracle he’s still walking around a free man.”
“It’s a disease,” said Chase with a lopsided grin. “And as we all know prison doesn’t cure a man, only the attention of a fine medical man like Dr. Freggar does.”
“He probably made that up,” said Odelia. “I’ll bet this Dr. Freggar doesn’t exist.”
“Oh, he exists,” said Alec. “But that doesn’t mean our Mr. Drood isn’t a thief.”
“But is he also a murderer,” said Chase, rubbing his chin. “That’s the question.”
“I told you already,” said Gran. “He’s our guy! He did it! Now fry him in the chair!”
“It doesn’t work like that, Ma,” said Uncle Alec. “We just collect the evidence and collar the guy, then it’s up to the DA to decide if they’re going to prosecute or let him walk.”
“At the very least he’ll be charged with grand larceny,” said Chase.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here,” said Alec. “I think we have a pretty good case that Sasha Drood is our killer and that’s what I’ll tell the prosecutor in the morning.” He yawned cavernously. “And now I’d like to go home and get some sleep myself.”
“I think we can all use some sleep,” said Odelia, also yawning.
She glanced up and saw that Gran was still sitting, ramrod straight, staring at Uncle Alec, not a sign of tiredness on her lined face. Even her curly perm was still perfectly in place, not a white curl ruffled.“So when are you going to string him up?” she asked.
“Ma! We don’t string people up! This isn’t the Old West. People have rights.”