“Sure, sure,” said Brutus, who seemed eager to jump into the fray.
I sighed.“Harriet?”
“Shush, Max,” the Persian said. “I think Shanille is about to implode.”
I turned to my wingman.“Dooley?”
“I’ll help you, Max,” he said. “On one condition.”
“What?”
“That you’ll help me find Odelia’s magic pills.”
And we were right back where we started.
Moments later we were finally called into Vena’s consultation room for our big inspection. I’ll spare you the details, but none of us came out unscathed that day. She applied some kind of weird-smelling gel to our necks, then handed Odelia an equally weird-looking comb with the advice to use it at least twice daily with a little soapy water, and finally gave our human the option to apply the dreadful collar or not.
“Quite frankly I’m using them less and less,” said Vena. “I find that they produce a horrible rash or allergic reaction in some cats, while others get them snagged on tree branches and such, which is potentially dangerous, as you can imagine. Still others lick them and end up with a severe reaction from the poison. So what shall it be? You decide, Odelia.”
All four of us looked up at Odelia, begging her to say no to the collar.
She gave us her sweetest smile, then proceeded to say yes to the collar.
Chapter 12
Odelia stepped into her dad’s office. As usual, the outer office was filled with people waiting for their doctor’s appointment. The one thing missing, though, was Grandma, who usually sat at her perch behind the reception desk, directing traffic, taking calls, jotting down appointments and gossiping with her son-in-law’s patients.
Odelia nodded hello to the familiar faces, then glanced at the empty counter. No Gran. Odd. She’d wanted to have another word with her relative about this whole Burt Goldsmith business. Talk some sense into her. And now she hadn’t even shown up for work. Not that she needed the job. She’d practically begged Dad to give it to her. Said she’d go crazy sitting at home doing nothing. Said she’d be the best receptionist he’d ever wished for.
Dad had relented and she’d been the worst receptionist he’d ever wished for.
And Odelia was just about to turn away when the door to the inner office opened and her dad appeared, along with Mrs. Baumgartner, one of his regulars. The bluff middle-aged woman thanked him and went on her way. Dad’s eyes scanned the waiting room, then the empty desk, and he sighed. When he caught sight of his daughter, he visibly perked up. “Odelia, honey. Come on in.” He turned to the other patients. “We’ll just be a moment.”
“Take your time, Doctor Tex,” said an elderly man with beetling brows and a stoop. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“Speak for yourself, you old fool,” said his neighbor, a squat ruddy-faced woman.
“One minute,” Tex promised, and ushered Odelia into his exam room.
“You don’t look so hot, Dad,” she said, noticing his pale and sweaty brow and his unkempt mop of white hair. Even his doctor’s coat had been buttoned askance. She set about to remedy this and her father took the opportunity to wipe his forehead with a napkin.
“It’s been hell all morning,” he confessed. “Between the patients and the phone calls I don’t know what to do first. Where the hell is your grandmother? I’ve tried calling but she keeps blocking me. I didn’t even know she could do that on that crappy phone I gave her.”
Grandma used to have a snazzy iPhone, but kept buying expensive apps in the App Store. And then she broke her phone by dropping it in the toilet. So now Dad had bought her a cheaper model. Some unknown Chinese brand. And Gran hadn’t answered his calls since.
“She thinks she gave birth to the son of the Most Fascinating Man in the World,” Odelia said, patting her dad on the chest, his doctor’s coat nice and neat once more.
“Come again?” he said.
In a few brief words she explained what had happened at the Hampton Cove Star that morning. Tex plunked himself down on the edge of his desk, looking stunned.“Shethinks she gave birth to a third child but she’s not entirelysure? That’s crazy!”
“That’s not all. Scarlett Canyon claimsshe is the mother of Burt’s child. Though her memory is equally fuzzy.”
“Crazy town,” muttered Tex, wiping his brow once more. “Is that why she didn’t show up for work this morning?”
“Yeah, she had a hot date with Burt.”
“She could have told me.”
“You haven’t exactly been on speaking terms, Dad.”
“That’s true,” he admitted.
Ever since Tex took her credit cards away—or his credit cards, actually—Gran had been ghosting him. Tough to do when you work together, but Gran had managed. Slipping him little pieces of paper and talking to the wall whenever she needed to address him.
“You think she’s going to quit working here?”
“If she can get Philippe Goldsmith to believe her claim she might,” Odelia said. “Burt’s ‘widow’ stands to come into a nice chunk of change, if Philippe is to be believed.”
“Maybe it’s for the best,” said Dad, staring at the ceiling. “Maybe this Philippe is taking your grandmother off our hands and she’ll live with the guy in Vegas from now on.”
“Colorado.”
“Colorado is fine. I can live with Colorado. Mexico would have been better. Or Africa.”
“I’m not sure Mom will like her mother moving away.”
Dad humorously slapped the desk.“There’s always a catch, isn’t there?”
“She’ll be back, Dad.”
“Not what I wanted to hear,” he said with a grin, then pressed a kiss to her brow. “And now you better scoot, young lady. Before my patients chase you out of here, feathered and tarred.”
“Maybe you should call the temp agency. At least until Gran comes to her senses.”
“Maybe I should,” he conceded, and walked her out.
Next stop was the library, where Odelia’s mother was stacking books in neat rows onto a library cart. “Oh, hey, honey,” Mom said. “Have you seen your grandmother? She was supposed to arrive early today. Help me prepare for the lecture tonight.” Mom, who was the spitting image of her daughter, pressed her hands into her lower back and arched backwards, grimacing. “Ooph. My back is killing me today.”
“Lecture? What lecture?”
“The Most Interesting Men in the World are in town. They’re doing some type of conference thing at the Seabreeze Music Center. I managed to snag them for an Evening with the Most Interesting Men in the World. Only it looks as if it might get canceled.”
“Of course. The explosion.”
“Explosion? What explosion?”
For the second time she told the story of the explosion that had taken the life of the Most Fascinating Man in the World.
“Bummer,” said Mom. “He was supposed to be the star of the evening. Not to mention the emcee.” She bit her lip. “Maybe the others will still show up?”
“They’re all being questioned as we speak, and it looks like the Most Compelling Man might be a suspect in the whole thing.”
Mom nodded knowingly.“Jealousy. Figures. They don’t seem to be able to agree on anything. Not the topics of conversation, not the seating arrangements or the order of introductions—not even the name of the evening. I wanted to call it ‘An Evening with Some Very Interesting Men,’ but they said that would favorthe Most Interesting Man in the World, who, coincidentally, couldn’t make it. Apparently there’s a pecking order of Most Interesting Men with the Most Interesting Man numero uno and Burt Goldsmith a close second. Maybe I should call the whole thing off now. Quite frankly it’s not worth the aggravation.”