Involuntarily we glanced at Clarice’s paws. She seemed to possess all four of them.
“Oh, who cares,” snarled Clarice. “That’s all ancient history anyway.”
Just then, a flea jumped from Dooley in the direction of the feral cat. Clarice snatched it up in midair, then flicked it into her mouth and chomped down.“Not a lot of meat,” she grumbled. “Got any more?”
I gulped.“You’re not afraid they’ll suck your blood?”
She laughed.“A flea suck my blood! I suck their blood! That’s why they never come near me.”
I had noticed she wasn’t wearing a collar. Then again, if her human was the kind of person to throw her off a cliff to leave her to die and rot, he probably wouldn’t take her to Vena’s for flea treatment. “You don’t have fleas?” I asked.
“Do you see a flea on me?” she asked, and I had to admit I didn’t. Fleas were probably more afraid of Clarice than she was of the little parasites. “Now are you gonna tell me what you want or are you gonna stand there yapping about your sad little lives?”
“We’re looking for Shadow,” said Dooley.
“Look behind you. But be quick,” she quipped.
Dooley did look behind him, then back at Clarice.“I don’t get it,” he said.
“Notour shadow,” I clarified. “Shadow. She’s the Most Fascinating Cat in the World, and she’s gone missing. She belonged to the Most Fascinating Man in the World but he got blown up, and if we can find her we want to ask her if she saw who killed her human.”
“Good riddance,” Clarice grunted. “I would blow up my human if I had the chance.”
“Who was your human, Clarice?” asked Dooley, interested.
In response, she merely gave him a dirty look.“I’ve seen Shadow,” she said. “Seen her rooting around my dumpsters, looking for scraps. Sad little creature. Namby-pamby cat. Scurrying away into the shadows like the kind of thing you find when you turn over a rock.”
“Where have you seen her?” I asked, my heart lifting with hope and excitement.
Clarice gestured vaguely.“Around. You’ll have to hurry, though. Cat looked absolutely mangy. Mangy and derelict. Wouldn’t surprise me if she’s dead by now.” She nodded knowingly. “It takes a special kind of cat to survive on these mean streets, boys. Trust me when I tell you these streets are unforgiving and they are relentless. No place for sissy cats like you. Or Shadow.” She gave us a stern look. “Just giving it to you straight. No fairy tales. That way you won’t be disappointed when you come upon her emaciated, rat-infested, maggot-crawling carcass in a gutter on the edge of town, nothing but a piece of road kill.”
Like I said, time spent with Clarice is always a joy to the heart and balm to the soul.
Chapter 24
The interview with the four remaining most interesting men concluded, Odelia decided to swing by the house for a bite to eat. Chase dropped her off and continued on to the station house, wanting to discuss the case with Uncle Alec. And she’d just inserted her key in the door and stepped inside when she became aware that she wasn’t alone.
Someone else was in there with her, and it wasn’t Max or Dooley.
“Who’s there?” she called out, afraid some burglar had decided to go for her meager belongings. They wouldn’t find much to satisfy their thieving tastes. Unless they were fellow cat owners and excited by the prospect of getting their kibble in bulk at the local Walmart or Costco, they’d be sorely disappointed by their sad little haul.
She took a firm hold on the baseball bat she liked to keep next to the front door—one of Chase’s contributions to interior decorating—and took a tentative step. Her house was a smallish affair, and from her position in the hallway she had a good view of the living room, the kitchen, and even the backyard through the sliding glass doors. Just then, the stairs creaked, and she gasped. Someonewas in here! Score one for the Poole survival instinct.
“Show yourself!” she yelled. “I’m armed and extremely dangerous!”
She lifted the baseball bat, wondering if she was holding it right and also wondering if she’d have both the time and the gumption to take a swing at this daytime intruder.
Just then, a person came stomping down the stairs and she raised the bat over her head.“I’m—I’m not kidding!” she cried. “I’ve got a weapon and I’m not afraid to use it!”
“Where do you keep the sheets?” asked Grandma, stepping out from the stairwell and giving her a look of annoyance. She frowned when she saw Odelia’s Babe Ruth imitation. “So this is what you get up to when I’m not looking. Having fun and playing games. And they wonder why this generation is so soft.” She shook her head and headed into the kitchen, opening the fridge. “And nothing to eat, of course. Sad. Very sad.”
“Gran,” Odelia cried, lowering her deadly weapon. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m moving in,” announced her grandmother, extracting a carton of eggs from the fridge and a tomato. “Don’t you have bacon? I need bacon if I’m gonna get through this. Bacon has always been my comfort food of choice.”
“But-but-but,” she sputtered.
Grandma plunked her bony frame down on a high kitchen stool and planted her elbows on the counter.“I got canned,” she said. “Got called out as a fraud and a cheat.”
Odelia stared at her grandmother.“I don’t get it.”
“Neither do I. Things were going great. Philippe was really taking to me, I could tell. Calling me Granny Goldsmith and stuff, and showing me pictures from when he was a baby. He didn’t even mention Scarlett Canyon anymore—having seen right through the woman I’ll bet.” She puckered up herface. “And thenshe showed up and ruined the whole thing.”
“She?” asked Odelia, also taking a seat at the kitchen counter.
“Sure. She. Amelia Goldsmith she calls herself. Burt’s wife. Turns out Burt may have played the part of the player, cutting a neat swath through a pack of blond bimbos over the years, but all this time the guy was married, can you believe it? Married! And to the same woman, no less. Claims she’s the mother of Burt’s boy Hunter and Philippe is her grandson.”
“But what about the DNA test?”
“Results came back. Neither me nor Scarlett made the cut. Nope,” she said, heaving an unhappy sigh. “Looks like that ship has sailed. Burt and I may have done the horizontal mambo back in the day, but ne’er a son was born from our union. And the same goes for the Canyon menace, though I could have told you this without some stupid darned DNA test.”
“So… that means you’re staying put?”
“Sure.” Gran slapped the counter and got up. “So where are those sheets? And you know I like them light and fluffy. None of that flannel stuff. I’ve got sensitive skin.”
She gave her grandparent a look of confusion.“What do you need sheets for? Don’t you have plenty of sheets at your own place?”
Gran’s face darkened. “I don’t have a place. Marge and Tex are dead to me. No way am I going back to those two backstabbers. After the way they treated me? Not one ounce of support for my bid to become Granny Goldsmith and rake in the millions.” She shook her head decidedly. “Nah-uh. I’m moving in with you.” She spread her arms. “Granny’s home!”
Chapter 25
We met up with Brutus and Harriet on the corner of Main Street and Franklin Avenue. Brutus and Harriet had formed a second team to look for Shadow. It was obvious from their expressions that they hadn’t found what they were looking for either, though.
“Did you find her?” asked Brutus.
“No, did you?” asked Dooley, who had a hard time reading faces.
“We did find Clarice,” I told the others. “She said she saw Shadow and that if we don’t hurry it might be too late.”
Brutus frowned.“You mean she might have left town?”
“She might have left the planet.”
“As in… flown off into space?”