Before we could respond, though, we were surrounded. Surrounded by humans. Lucky for us they were all humans we were familiar with: Odelia, Marge, Tex, Uncle Alec, Gran, and even Odelia’s solid cop boyfriend, Chase Kingsley.
“What do we have here?” asked Alec with a frown. “Two cats and a dead man.”
“Add a parrot and you have all the makings of a pretty funny joke,” Tex quipped and laughed loudly at his own joke. When no one else laughed, he quickly cut the laughter short.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “We slipped and fell.”
It was a terribly embarrassing thing to say. I don’t normally slip and fall. Then again, I’m only feline, after all. These things happen to the best of cats, right?
“What’s that?” asked Odelia suddenly, pointing at something on the floor.
It was a cream-colored envelope, with a logo embossed on the front.
“Don’t touch it,” said Uncle Alec when Marge made a move to pick it up. “Abe!” he bellowed. “Come in here a second, will ya?!”
Abe came running.“What, what, what?” the voluminous man asked, panting.
Uncle Alec pointed down at the envelope and Abe frowned.“Huh. Where did that come from? And why have you moved the body without my explicit permission?”
There was a slight pause, then Gran said,“He fell.”
“He fell?”
“He fell,” Gran repeated. “Keeled over. It happens.”
Abe didn’t look convinced. With the air of a man who’d done that kind of thing a thousand times before, he pulled on a fresh pair of gloves, bent down with some effort, and picked up the envelope, then turned it over in his hands. “Buckerfield Publishing.”
“That’s Chris Ackerman’s publisher,” said Marge, who knew her way around books—being a librarian and all. “Or at least it was his publisher. I read somewhere that he recently signed a ten-book deal with Franklin Cooper, rumored to have netted him a neat sum.”
“Well, open it,” said Gran.
Abe cleared his throat officiously, then opened the envelope and extracted a sheet of paper. Like the envelope, it was beige and embossed with the same logo. He quickly scanned the document’s contents and frowned. “Signed Malcolm Buckerfield. Says here he’s making Ackerman a counteroffer. Practically begs him not to change publishers. Offers him…” Abe gulped a little, like a turkey about to gobble up a particularly tasty morsel. “Holy mackerel.”
“Just spit it out, Abe,” said Uncle Alec.
Abe’s eyes rose over the document to meet Alec’s. “Ten million smackeroos if you please.”
“Nice,” croaked Gran. “This Chuck Peckerwood was some rich dude.” She directed a reverent look at the dead man. “Too bad he’s dead. We might have hit it off.”
“Instead, someone hithim off,” Uncle Alec grunted.
Abe suddenly fixed his eyes on me.“What the hell is that cat doing in here?”
Chapter 9
Harriet and Brutus were reluctantly wandering the streets around the library. They were nice streets, on the whole, featuring nice houses, but they lacked a certain oomph. The kind of oomph Harriet got from watchingThe Bachelor, for instance, orThe Kardashians. To be honest she was more of a homebody. Perched on her throne—a nice comfy red velvet cushion—in the Poole living room, grooming herself and watching her favorite reality shows, she was in her element. Roaming these streets at night talking to random cats? Not!
“I don’t like this, Brutus,” she said now. “Let’s go home.”
“But we haven’t talked to a single cat.”
“And we won’t. Isn’t it obvious they’re all home? Doing what we should be doing?”
“Nookie?”
She giggled.“WatchingThe Bachelor, you big doofus. With nookie for dessert.”
Brutus didn’t respond. He wasn’t as big onThe Bachelor as Harriet and Gran were. He probably likedThe Bachelorette a lot more, even though with Brutus it was hard to be sure. Lately he’d been in one of his silent moods. Not talking much. Harriet hated it.
“Why don’t we leave the sleuthing to Max and Dooley,” she tried again. “This is more Max’s thing anyway. He’s the one who wants to become a super sleuth. He’s the one who’s so obsessed with these silly Hallmark shows, figuring they’ll teach him everything he needs to know.”
“Well, he’s got a point,” said Brutus. “They are some pretty neat shows.”
Harriet scowled at her mate.“Neat? What’s so neat about people looking for clues the whole time?”
“They’re solving murders. Someone should,” said Brutus vaguely.
“The police should. That’s what they’re paid to do. Like your human Chase. The rest of us? We should simply live our lives, oblivious and happy.”
Brutus cocked an eyebrow.“Don’t let Max hear you say that. He wants to contribute.”
“Max is misguided. And so is Dooley. It’s all Odelia’s fault, really. She should never have gotten us involved in all of her amateur sleuthing. I mean, she’s a reporter, for crying out loud. When did reporters get it into their heads that they should be crime fighters?”
“I guess it kinda goes with the territory?” said Brutus.
“No, it doesn’t.” Harriet had given this matter a great deal of thought. “Besides, it’s dangerous. Criminals don’t like it when people mess with their livelihoods. Odelia should leave well enough alone, and so should Max. Before you know it one of those murderers or whatever decides to strike back and then where does that leave us? Without a human.”
This seemed to give Brutus pause, just like Harriet had known it would.“Do you think one of these murderers might target Odelia?”
“Of course! What does a murderer do? He murders. Like a plumber unclogs pipes or a coin collector collects coins, a murderer murders. It’s what they do. So if you’re going to try and stop them, they’re bound to get upset and murder you before you know it.”
Brutus pondered this.“Mh,” he said. “Something in that.”
“Of course there’s something in that. If there’s one thing you should know about me by now, Brutus, it’s that I’m always right.”
Brutus didn’t seem convinced, and soon lapsed into silence once more. It irked Harriet a great deal. She didn’t mind a silent mate—she talked enough for two—but she had the impression he wasn’t consistently paying attention, and that, she simply couldn’t stand.
A scrawny cat with matted fur crossed the road in front of them, stared for a moment, then scrambled off.
“Shouldn’t we talk to him?” Brutus asked. “Ask him what he saw?”
Harriet rolled her eyes.“Who cares what he saw or didn’t see?”
Brutus gave her a hesitant look, then cleared his throat.“Buddy—hey, buddy!”
“Brutus!” hissed Harriet. “What do you think you’re doing?”
But Brutus was already jogging in the direction of the scrawny cat.
“Whaddya want?” the cat asked suspiciously.
“I don’t know if you know,” said Brutus, “but there’s been a murder at the library.”
“Is that right?” said the cat, not the least bit impressed.
“Yeah, a writer was murdered. So I was wondering if maybe you saw something?”
The cat eyed Brutus with a look of amusement.“Like what?”
“Like maybe you saw the killer or something?”
The cat laughed.“What are you? A cat sleuth?”
Brutus shrugged.“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
“Oh, boy. Of all the weird stuff…” The cat studied Harriet, who sat studiously ignoring both the raggedy cat and Brutus. “So who’s the dame?”
“That’s Harriet.”
“So is she also a cat sleuth?”
Brutus hesitated.“Um…”
The cat laughed again.“Gotcha.” He raised his voice. “Hey, toots! Over here!”
Harriet felt heat rise to her cheeks and her tail quiver.“Are you talking to me?”
“Yeah, I’m talking to you. You wanna know what I saw, I can tell you for a price.”
Harriet rolled her eyes again, a gesture she’d perfected. “Oh, my God.”