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“I can see that,” said Princess. She let go of Brutus, draped her front leg through mine and squeezed my non-existent bicep. “I like you, Max.”

I practically coughed up a hairball. “I like you, too,” I squeaked.

“You’re a regular musical prodigy,” Princess said. “Sing something.”

“Huh?”

“Sing something for me. Give me a sample of your talent.”

I cast about helplessly for a moment, but when I caught Brutus grinning at me, I pulled myself together and sang the first thing that came to mind. “Is it too late to say sorry?” I bleated. Princess blinked. My singing sounded as if a cat had stepped on my tail. “Cause… I’m missing more than just your… body.”

Princess emitted a wild giggle, then controlled herself with some effort and shook her head. “That was… interesting. Very… novel.”

Oh, God. I’d screwed up, hadn’t I? Stage fright. It’s a real killer.

“You know, I was actually at the Kenspeckle place today,” said Brutus, turning his back on me and starting to lead Princess away.

Her eyes went wide. “The Kenspeckles? The reality stars?”

“Yep. Hanging with Damien LeWood. Jamming with my main man.”

“You know Damien LeWood?” she asked excitedly. “The famous rapper?”

“The one and only. Damien and I are tight. If you like I’ll introduce you.”

“Ooh, Brutus. I would love that!”

I watched Brutus lead her to a nearby tree, explaining to her how his buddy Damien LeWood had promised him a leading role in his reality show, and how he was pretty sure he could get her a casting call with the director.

“Max, what’s going on?” Dooley asked, looking worried. “Why were you singing that horrible song? I thought we said we wouldn’t do that again.”

“I was trying to impress Princess,” I said miserably.

He looked at Princess. “She doesn’t look impressed. At least not by you.”

I groaned. “I know. It was a total fail. And now she’s all over Brutus.”

He shrugged. “So? What’s it to you?”

I stared at him. “Are you blind? She’s the prettiest cat for miles around.”

“I always thought Harriet was the prettiest cat for miles around.”

“Well, I don’t. And if I don’t figure out a way to trump Brutus I’ll lose my chance.”

“Why don’t you climb a tree?” he suggested.

“Climb a tree? What do you mean, climb a tree?”

“I mean climb a tree. Chicks dig it. They clap and cheer. It’s a thing.”

It shows how far gone I was that I seriously contemplated Dooley’s inane suggestion. He’s my best friend, but he’s also an idiot, and the fact that even before he finished telling me to climb a tree I was scooting up the nearest tree, proves that when it comes to women, I’m an even bigger idiot.

“Yoo-hoo, Princess!” I shouted when I’d reached the first branch. “Why don’t you come up and join me? These are the best seats in the house!”

“Oh, Max,” Princess laughed. “You’re so funny!”

Funny wasn’t what I was going for, but at least I had her attention.

Brutus scowled at me, and within seconds he’d joined me, clawing his way up to the branch directly above mine. “My seat is even better!” he yelled. “In fact this is the conductor’s spot. Make sure everyone can see me.”

Princess laughed again, a breathy, coquettish sound. It was so sexy.

I decided I wasn’t going to be outdone by this brute, so I quickly clambered up one more branch, and then I was one up on Brutus.

From the ground, Dooley gave me two thumbs up. “Doing great, Max!”

The other cats all stared at us as if we’d lost our minds. Even George stood shaking his weary old head. For the first time I was starting to wonder if I wasn’t making an absolute fool of myself. Unfortunately, Brutus wasn’t making this consideration, as he quickly outdid me, and rose one more level.

“Brutus!” a voice rang out. “Come down at once!”

It was Harriet. Apparently she’d returned to butt heads with Princess once again. She wasn’t going to give up on Brutus without putting up a fight.

“Not a chance!” Brutus croaked. “I have a choir to conduct.”

“You never do your conducting from up there!” she shouted.

“Oh, yes, I do,” he said with a chuckle. “Don’t listen to her, Princess. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Harriet turned to Princess. “I do know what I’m talking about. I’m not just this choir’s leading lady and main vocalist, I’m also Brutus’s girlfriend.”

“Not anymore, you’re not,” Dooley muttered, and Harriet gave him a withering look that quickly shut him up.

As Princess and the others watched, Brutus and I climbed higher and higher into the tree. Each time he overtook me, I went higher, and on and on it went, until we both reached the top and there was no more tree left. Huh.

Unfortunately we were now so high up that we couldn’t even see the ground, or the others. And as we listened to the sounds of cat choir starting their rehearsal without us, I wondered what the hell I was doing up here.

“Um, Brutus?” I asked, precariously perched on the top branch.

“Yeah?” he said a little uncertainly.

“Do you know how to get down from here?”

There was a momentary silence, then he confessed, “Nope.”

We both looked down, and the dizzying height gave me the creeps.

“They’ve started without us,” I said.

“I know. Can you believe it?”

“And Princess didn’t join us.”

“I think she lost interest about halfway through our climb.”

“I like that cat.”

“Me too. Though to be honest I like Harriet more.”

“What?! Then why did you put the moves on Princess?”

He shrugged. “I’m a cat, Max. Putting the moves on felines is what I do.”

We were quiet for a while, sitting there side by side while we listened to the cats singing up a storm. Then the first neighbor opened his window and shouted something. Then the second neighbor opened his window and threw a shoe. Sound carries, and the sound of two dozen cats screeching as if their whiskers are being plucked from their faces with tweezers carries even more. Not that I’m not proud of cat choir, but I may have exaggerated a little when I was telling Princess how good we are. Actually we kinda suck. Big time.

“How are we going to get out of this tree?” I asked.

“Beats me,” Brutus said. “I’ve never climbed this high before.”

He sounded just as unnerved as I was feeling.

“Max?” he asked.

“Uh-huh.”

“If we get out of this alive, I want you to know I think you’re pretty brave.”

“Come again?”

“Discovering that murder weapon today? That took guts.”

"I only climbed that pipe because you locked us up."

“You know why I did that, right?”

“Actually, I don’t.”

He hesitated. “The thing is… Chase isn’t my human.”

“He’s not?” This surprised me. “But I thought—”

“His mother is. She took me in straight from the nest. But then she got sick and had to go and live in some place where cats are not allowed, so Chase had to decide whether to put me in a shelter or to keep me. Lucky for me he kept me, but… well, let’s just say Chase isn’t much of a cat person.”

“No, he doesn’t strike me as one.”

“I mean, he never cuddles me, or scratches me behind my ears. He just feeds me and that’s it.”

“Yeah, but he feeds you real meat.”

He gave me a sad glance. “I’d trade all that for a cuddle. You and Odelia? You guys have such a great bond. She cares about you, and even lets you sleep on the bed and all.”

“Chase doesn’t let you sleep on the bed?”