“Never. He kicks me out of the house when he goes to bed.”
“That’s not very nice.”
He shrugged. “It’s all he knows, I guess. His mother was the same. Cats aren’t supposed to sleep in the house. They should be outside. Catch mice.”
“It’s nice to sleep on the bed,” I said. “Nice and warm and soft. In the morning I like to snuggle up to Odelia and she hugs me. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.”
“I’d like that,” he said softly. “I’d like to have a human who cares about me like that. That’s why I wanted to be the one to tell her about Dion Dread’s new show. That way she might want to, you know, adopt me, maybe?”
I hesitated, then said, “You know, if you like we can share Odelia. She’s got a big enough heart for two.”
He was silent for a beat, then said huskily, “Thank you, Max. I’d really like that.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do. You practically live with us anyway, so…”
He glanced at me. “You’re all right, Max.”
“You’re all right, too, Brutus.”
We gave an awkward high five and then lapsed into silence once more. All this talk of Odelia was fine and dandy, but if nobody came to save us, we’d probably never see her again. I just hoped Dooley was calling 911.
Chapter 16
Odelia woke up from a pronounced whispering nearby. She’d been dreaming of Chase, more particularly Chase’s remarkably soft lips, and she so didn’t want to wake up right now. The whispering persisted, and she dragged her mind back from her sweet dreams to the cold reality of her empty bed. Well, not completely empty. Two cats were seated next to her in the darkness.
She moved, and the whispering stopped. She closed her eyes, ready for more Chase. The whispering started again, Dooley and Harriet having some kind of argument.
“God. What’s with all the whispering?!”
“No, I’m not telling her,” Harriet was saying.
“We have to tell her,” Dooley said. “We can’t just leave them up there.”
“We can and we will,” Harriet insisted stubbornly.
Odelia smacked her lips. The pressure of Chase’s lips against hers lingered. If Real Chase was as good a kisser as Dream Chase she was hoping her dream might turn into a reality one day. Maybe the day hell froze over.
“Leave who where?” she finally asked, giving up on her dream.
“Max and Brutus are stuck in a tree,” said Dooley.
“Dooley!” hissed Harriet. “I told you not to tell her!”
“Look, I don’t care about Brutus, but this is Max we’re talking about. He could be stuck up there for days! Or even forever!”
“Serves him right. Serves them both right. They shouldn’t have made such a spectacle of themselves in the first place. And all over some dumb broad. She can’t even sing!”
Dooley giggled. “Yeah, she sounded pretty awful. No way she was John Paul George’s muse. She fooled us all.”
“Not me. She didn’t fool me. Not for one second.”
“What’s going on?” Odelia asked tiredly, propping herself up on her elbows. She stared into the darkness. All she could see were two pairs of cat’s eyes staring back at her.
“Max and Brutus decided to impress Princess,” Dooley said.
“The skankiest cat alive,” said Harriet.
“Princess isn’t skanky. She’s just… not a great singer.”
“She is skanky. A classy cat would never get two cats to fight over her.”
“Well, anyway,” said Dooley, “Max and Brutus decided to impress Princess so they climbed a tree.”
“Who gave them that idea?” asked Odelia, rubbing her eyes.
“Dooley did,” said Harriet. “This was all his idea. Yes, it was!”
“I just figured it would give Max an edge. It looked like Brutus was winning her over and Max was very upset so I told him to climb a tree.”
“So Brutus and Max were going after the same cat?” asked Odelia.
“Yes, they were.”
“But I thought you and Brutus were a thing, Harriet?”
“We were. And now we’re not. If he likes that stupid Princess he’s welcome to her.”
“So it’s official now?” asked Dooley. “You and Brutus are history?”
“Ancient history.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said, though he didn’t sound sorry.
“I don’t care,” she said. “I don’t mind being single again. I’m too young to be tied down. In fact Brutus did me a favor. A big one.”
“So where are Max and Brutus now?” asked Odelia. She was starting to get the picture.
“Still in that tree,” said Dooley. “They can’t get down. It’s too high.”
She did a mental head slap. “I better call the fire department.”
“Or you could leave them up there,” said Harriet, returning to her favorite theme. “At least a couple of days. That should teach them a lesson.”
“I can’t, Harriet. Max is my cat. I can’t leave him up there.”
“Then just leave Brutus up there. I’m sure Chase won’t mind.”
Yep. Cats were more like humans than people thought. A woman scorned and all that. “I have to get a hold of Chase. Tell him his cat is stuck in a tree.”
She swung her feet from between the sheets and found her slippers. She shuffled over to the window and opened the curtains. It was still completely dark out, though on the horizon she thought she could detect first light trying to hoist itself over the skyline. It was doing a pretty half-ass job of it, too.
“What time is it?” she asked with a yawn.
Dooley had joined her at the window. “Um, like, seven?”
“So how long have they been up there?”
“Since after midnight.”
“Oh, those poor dears. They must be terrified.”
“Especially since Max and Brutus hate each other,” said Harriet.
“Yeah, it wouldn’t surprise me if they’ve eaten each other by now,” said Dooley. “Like in that Tom Hanks movie? When he was stuck on that island?”
“Tom Hanks didn’t eat anybody in that movie,” said Harriet.
“That’s because he was all alone out there, with nobody to eat. But Max and Brutus have each other.” He paused. “I wonder who’ll eat who. My money’s on Brutus. He’s bigger and tougher.”
“Max is bigger,” said Harriet.
“Yeah, but that’s all flab. Brutus is all muscle.”
“Nobody is eating anybody,” Odelia said.
“She’s right,” said Harriet, sounding worried now. “They’ve got bark. Wouldn’t they eat bark before eating each other? They’ve got plenty of bark.”
“Would you eat bark when you could gobble up a perfectly succulent cat like Max? I don’t think so,” said Dooley. He sighed. “I’m afraid the only thing you’ll find up there are a skeleton and a cat that looks like Tom Hanks.”
“Oh, no,” Harriet cried, and streaked over to Odelia. “You have to save them! You have to go out there right now and save them!”
“Relax. A couple of hours stuck in a tree won’t hurt them.” She hoisted up her jeans and slipped a sweater over her head. “In fact it might do them some good. Those two have done nothing but fight.” Maybe being cooped up together in the same treetop might knock some sense into them. Or not.
“Men are so stupid,” said Harriet, now practically in tears.
“Not all men,” said Dooley. “I wouldn’t climb a tree to impress Princess.”
“Bet you’d climb a tree to impress Harriet, though,” Odelia said, dragging her fingers through her hair. She knew Dooley had always had a soft spot for Harriet. Maybe now was his chance to score.
Dooley scraped his paw across the floor. “Maybe.”
“Oh, Dooley,” said Harriet. “You would do that for me?”
He looked up, hope dawning. “Of course I would. In a heartbeat.”
She pressed a paw to her heart. “I take back what I said about you being responsible for Brutus and Max’s being stuck. You’re a true friend, Dooley.”
“Friend?” asked Dooley, sounding a little disappointed.
She nodded, a smile on her face. “One of my very best friends.”