“Me neither, honey bunch,” said Brutus.
Mom stood watching the syrupy scene with cocked head. “Aw, isn’t that sweet? Young love.”
“It’s the best,” muttered Odelia, not impressed.
“Shouldn’t you be home with Chase right now?” I asked Brutus.
“Yeah, he’ll wonder where you are,” said Dooley.
“I’m sure he doesn’t mind me spending the night with my girlfriend.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t,” said Marge. “Chase strikes me as a man who appreciates love and affection. For a police officer he’s very much in touch with his feelings.” She gave Odelia a meaningful look.
Odelia threw up her hands. “Don’t hold anything back, Mom.”
“Well, I won’t. Detective Kingsley is a wonderful young man, extremely handsome and very sweet and you could do a lot worse than him. And he’s single, which I’m sure he won’t be for long so you better move fast.”
“I told you already. I’m not interested in Chase Kingsley.”
“Someone else might snap him up. Alec tells me Blanche Captor comes into the office every day to file littering charges. She’s in there at the crack of dawn, demanding Chase take her statement. And she just had that boob job.”
“I’m sure it takes more than a pair of boobs to turn Chase’s head, Mom.”
“I’m not so sure. Chase might be a great guy but he’s still a guy. And you know what that means.” She directed a pointed glance at Odelia’s more modest chest. “The women in our family have to rely on other assets, honey.”
“Oh, for crying out loud, Mom,” Odelia groaned.
To be honest, I’ve never understood this obsession with boobs. I mean, I’m a guy and I don’t care one hoot about them. Then again, I’m not human, so maybe that’s why. Truth of the matter is that Odelia has dated a few lemons in the past, so she’s understandably cautious and I don’t blame her.
“I think Chase is dreamy,” said Harriet, contradicting her earlier statement that interspecies relationships are just plain wrong.
“And I think he’s a great cop, but that doesn’t mean he’s relationship material,” I said, deciding to put my two cents in. It seemed Odelia’s dating life was a free-for-all now, so why not share my opinion with the group?
Mom laughed. “Oh, Max. Since when did you become an expert?”
I shrugged. “Just looking out for my human. Someone has to.”
I like Marge, I really do, but I don’t like how she tries to foist this cop on Odelia. To be honest, my motives weren’t totally selfless. If Odelia hooked up with Chase, it wouldn’t be long before he moved in and so would Brutus. If there was a way to prevent this doomsday scenario, I was all for it.
Marge patted me on the head. “You’re doing a great job, Max.”
“Thanks,” I said dubiously. Compliments are a double-edged sword. You have to be careful or they blow up in your face. If it’s swords that blow up in your face. It might be plans. I don’t know. Hey, I’m a cat, not a dictionary.
“I think Odelia and Chase should hook up,” said Harriet. “Just like Brutus and I have found each other. That way we’ll all be family forever.”
“I think you should listen to you cats, honey,” said Mom. “They’re a sacred and ancient species known far and wide for their infinite wisdom.”
“I think Chase should return to wherever he came from,” said Dooley, giving Brutus a particularly dirty look.
Odelia held up her hand. “All right, Mom. I’ll listen to my wise cats.”
“Dooley is confused, that’s all. He is your grandmother’s cat, after all. Some of her traits are bound to rub off on him and dilute his innate wisdom.”
“I thought Gran wanted me to get together with Chase?”
"Gran wants to get together with Chase herself," said Marge with a tight-lipped smile. "Which is hardly appropriate for her age."
Odelia put her bowl in the sink. “You know what I think? This family is starting to resemble the Kenspeckles. If we’re not careful we’ll have our own reality show soon.”
“Ooh, I’d like that,” said Harriet. “I would love to be on TV.”
“Oh dear God, no,” said Marge. “Just imagine all those cameras filming everything we do. We wouldn’t have a life anymore—no privacy at all!”
“It’s all scripted,” Odelia said. “Nothing about that show is real, Mom.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. Nobody behaves like that. It’s completely fake.”
“I think it’s all real,” said Harriet. “Especially the relationships. Nobody can fake all that love and affection. You can see it in their eyes.”
Dooley and I rolled our own eyes. Odelia was right. Maybe Keeping Up with the Pooles would be the next big thing. Though Keeping Up with Harriet and Brutus would be an even bigger hit. Nobody could fake that much ignorance.
Chapter 3
The doorbell rang and Odelia was surprised to find Chase on the doorstep. She wanted to tell him they were just talking about him but thought better of it. Nothing boosts a man's ego as much as knowing a gaggle of women is talking behind his back, though she probably shouldn't include Harriet in this particular gaggle, as she wasn't an actual woman.
Chase Kingsley was tall, dark-haired and movie-star handsome and took his job very, very seriously. And whatever he was doing here probably had something to do with that job, because in all the time she’d known him he’d never once paid her a social visit unless she’d specifically invited him.
“What’s up?” she asked, suddenly feeling a little underdressed. Those Daisy Dukes had seemed like a great idea half an hour ago, but now that Chase’s eyes slowly traveled south and his eyebrows rose north, she was having second thoughts. Then again, there was nothing wrong with making a great impression, even if she wasn’t interested in dating the guy.
“Morning, Miss Poole.”
“Morning, Detective Kingsley. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“There’s been a murder.”
“What? Who?” she asked, her smile evaporating.
“Shana Kenspeckle. They just found her.”
Holy cow. “Give me a minute,” she said.
He followed her inside, and nodded a greeting at her mother but ignored the cats seated at the kitchen counter. Unlike Odelia, Mom and Gran, Chase wasn’t one of those rare humans who could communicate with felines. This special gift had traveled down from generation to generation because one of Odelia’s ancestors had purportedly been a witch. It was a gift that came in handy in her line of work. As a reporter for the Hampton Cove Gazette she needed to be on top of everything that happened in her small Long Island town. And since she couldn’t be everywhere all the time, Max and his friends acted as her eyes and ears, supplying her with a steady stream of news.
She drained her coffee cup and went in search of her smartphone.
“So what brings you down here, Chase?” asked Mom.
“Police business, I’m afraid, Mrs. Poole.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake. When are you going to start calling me Marge?”
“There’s been a murder, Marge.”
Mom’s hands flew to her face. “Oh, no!”
“Yeah. One of the Kenspeckle sisters was found murdered.”
“But that’s horrible!”
“I’m just going over there to investigate.”
“And you’re taking Odelia along? That’s so nice of you, Chase.”
He grimaced. “Chief Alec engaged your daughter as an official consultant to the department, ma’am, I mean Marge. He’s made a point of including her in the day-to-day police business. And since he’s out of town this week he’s asked me to partner up with his niece for this particular investigation.”
Judging from his tone he wasn’t happy about Uncle Alec’s decision.
“Oh, but that’s wonderful,” said Mom, clasping her fingers together as if in prayer. “The two of you together, cracking a case. That’s so exciting!”