“No, she’s not,” I said. “Odelia told me so herself. She’ll never get rid of us. Never.”
“Duh. Of course she’s going to say that,” said Diego, rolling his eyes. “She’s not going to risk you running away before she drops you off at the pound and collects her fat fee.”
I frowned at him. “What fat fee?”
He gave me an innocent look. “Oh, you didn’t know? They pay good money for old cats. In fact they pay by the pound, so Odelia stands to get quite a fortune for you, Max.”
I gasped, and cried, “Odelia! Diego says you’re going to sell me by the pound!”
But unfortunately Chase was behind the wheel again, his ears pricking up at the sound of us cats duking it out, so Odelia was forced to ignore my heart cry.
“How much will she get for me?” asked Dooley softly. “I mean, I’m small, so I’m bound to fetch a lot less than Max.”
“Yeah, it’s almost not worth dumping you,” said Diego with a dismissive glance at my friend. “And as for you, Brutus, these places pay a premium for aggressive and dangerous animals such as yourself, as they’re glad to be rid of them, so you should fetch a nice bonus.”
“You’re full of crap, Diego,” Brutus growled. “I don’t believe a word you say.”
“Ignore me at your peril,” said Diego. “But don’t come crying to me when they come for you. I’ll be the one sitting pretty with my lovely girlfriend by my side.”
Harriet, who’d been suspiciously quiet all through this conversation, now piped up. “Can’t you do anything to convince Odelia not to do this? I mean, Max and Dooley have been my friends since, like, forever, and Brutus has come to mean a great deal to me as well.”
“I don’t know if she’ll listen to me, babe. She’s got her heart set on getting rid of the riffraff and focusing on her true treasures from now on.”
“I can’t listen to this,” Brutus growled. “If you can’t see this cat for who he truly is, Harriet, there is no hope for you.”
“I’m trying to help you out here, Brutus,” she snapped. “The least you can do is show me some respect.”
“Respect! You threw me over for this oversized hairball and you want my respect?”
“I’ve earned it,” she said, her tail swishing defiantly. “I was your girlfriend for a long time, Brutus. And even though we parted as friends, that doesn’t mean you can talk trash about me. Furthermore, I want you to refer to me as Miss Poole from now. Only true friends call me Harriet, and judging from your recent comments you, sir, are no friend of mine.”
Brutus uttered a few choice curse words that no cat should ever employ, and Dooley covered his ears with his paws, visibly aghast at the level the cat had stooped to. This conversation was clearly getting out of hand and into the gutter. Which was why it was a good thing that we had finally arrived home, and Odelia opened the door to let us out.
We instantly tripped up to the house, all of our tails held high, as a deadly silence descended over our small troupe of five.
Once inside, I immediately set paw for my bowl. Ever since Diego had stolen my food last night, I’d been worried about my disappearing stash. To my relief, Odelia had filled my bowl to the brim, and I quickly set about devouring its contents with greedy gulps before Diego had a chance to gobble it all up again. And I’d reached the bottom of my bowl when I happened to glance over, and started when Tex appeared in the kitchen, dressed in coveralls and swinging a saw in one hand and a screwdriver in the other.
“And? What do you think?” he asked cheerfully.
I joined Odelia, Chase and the other cats to stare at the latest addition to the kitchen: a small panel that had been installed in the door.
“Wow, Dad,” said Odelia. “You’re a fast worker.”
“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop, honey.”
“Come on, Dooley. You be the first to try,” said Odelia.
“What is it?” asked Dooley, eyeing the panel with suspicion.
“It’s a pet door, you dummy,” said Diego. “Here. Let me show you chumps.” He took a running leap, and headed straight for the door! And to my great surprise, he didn’t smash into it, but ran straight through! The panel gave way, flapped out and then in again, and Diego was gone, before returning the same way he left.
“Oh, now I see what you mean,” said Dooley, and quickly followed suit. “Hey, I like this!” he exclaimed when he returned. And to demonstrate that he did, he proceeded to run three more times through the newly installed gizmo.
“Looks like a great fit, Dad,” said Odelia.
“Yeah, the little fellows seem to like it,” said Chase.
Harriet, quickly followed by Brutus, both passed through the door, and then it was my turn. With a happy smile, for I understood this meant I could come and go as I pleased and Odelia would save a ton on her heating bill, I headed for the pet door, stuck my head in and then… got stuck. For some reason my head went through fine, but my midsection didn’t.
“Um, you guys?” I called out. “A little help?”
I felt hands fingering my belly and I giggled. I’m ticklish that way. Then those same hands pressed into my belly and slowly eased me back inside. Finally I was free, and found three humans and four cats intently staring at me, then they all burst into laughter!
“Hey! What’s so funny?!” I cried. “Never seen a cat get stuck before?”
“No, actually I haven’t, Maxie, baby,” said Brutus, pretty much rolling on the floor, laughing. Diego, too, was howling with mirth, and so were Harriet and even Dooley, though he tried to spare my feelings by hiding his face behind his paws.
“Very funny,” I growled. I was blushing, though since I’m blorange, and covered in fur, I was pretty sure no one could see it.
“I think you’re going to have to make it bigger, Dad,” Odelia said finally.
“Yeah, better install an outsized pet door for an outsized cat,” Chase added.
Tex scratched his scalp. “I don’t think they have them in a larger size. I guess I’ll have to make the next one custom-sized.”
“I’ll give you a hand, Tex,” said Chase, clapping his future father-in-law on the back.
“Thanks, buddy,” said Tex, still looking slightly stunned. “I should probably have measured Max before I got started. My mistake.”
“Don’t worry about it, Dad,” said Odelia with a smile. “Max is a one-of-a-kind cat. He needs a one-of-a-kind pet door.”
I’m not sure what she meant by that, but judging from Diego’s knowing look it wasn’t good. ‘See?’ that look seemed to mean. ‘She’s going to get good money for you, Max. Paid by the pound… by the pound!’
Then again, if Odelia was going to sell me by the pound to the pound, why did she go to all the trouble of installing a pet door for me? I was going to have to thresh this thing out once and for all. The moment Diego was gone I was going to have a long heart-to-heart with my human. Was she or wasn’t she about to get rid of me? Inquiring minds needed to know!
Chapter 13
Odelia woke up in the middle of the night from a strange noise bleating away in the vicinity of her ear. For a moment she thought it was Max, whose breathing could get a little noisy from time to time, especially when he was having a bad dream. He would start to paw the air, as if running in his sleep. She’d asked Vena, her veterinarian, about it once and she said he was probably dreaming about chasing something or being chased himself.
The notion that cats could dream had been a new one for her, but it didn’t surprise her. In fact there wasn’t much about her cats that did surprise her these days. They were amazing creatures, and capable of so much more than most humans gave them credit for.
They were also very sensitive. As she was falling asleep earlier, Max had tripped up to her, carefully looking left and right, and had asked her if it was true that she intended to drop him off at the pound one of these days, and actually sell him by the pound. The idea was so outrageous that she’d laughed it off. But when he told her the story had been launched by Diego, it wasn’t all that funny anymore. It would appear that Diego had been feeding Max and the others a bunch of sensationalist stories, and scaring them witless in the process.