“That’s all right,” she said. “Just doing my duty.”
Chase leaned in, and whispered, “You even sound like a cop.”
“Here,” said Charlie, handing her the big box. “From me to you, babe.”
She opened the box and to her surprise found Harriet staring up at her piteously.
The Persian gave a pleading little mewl, then said, “Please take me home, Odelia.”
Odelia placed the box on the floor and pressed her lips together, fury lancing through her. “Charlie Dieber! You can’t gift me a cat that you stole from me in the first place!”
“Oh, dear,” said the pop star, closing his eyes. “Here we go again.”
“This is Harriet! This is my cat!”
“How am I supposed to know who belongs to who?” the star asked with a shrug.
“You’re the worst cat person I’ve ever met in my entire life!” she screamed, her cheeks reddening and her fists clenching and unclenching. “And you’re a lousy singer!”
“Hey, now don’t you go and get personal,” he said, darting worried glances at her fists. He then directed a beseeching look at Chase, hoping the large cop would intervene, just like he had the last time Odelia had flown off the handle. But Chase merely smiled and folded his arms across his chest, clearly prepared to sit this one out.
“If you steal one more cat!” she shouted, wagging a finger in the kid’s face. “One more cat, I swear to God!”
“Okay, all right! Jeezus. What’s with you and cats? They’re just a bunch of stupid animals.”
She hauled off and slapped the singer so hard across the cheek the sound echoed around the dressing room. Charlie’s personal assistant was there, Roulston was there, and so were Regan and the rest of the security guards. None of them interfered when Odelia gave the spoiled brat a slap across the face that he would remember for a long time to come.
“She hit me!” he cried, touching his cheek. “Do something! Arrest her! She hit me!”
But instead of arresting her, they all smiled and then walked out. On his way out, Roulston leaned into Odelia and murmured, “Been wanting to do that for a very long time.”
Odelia picked up her cat and, after firing off a look that could kill and making the singer wilt, she walked out. To her great satisfaction the imprint of her hand was nicely outlined on Charlie’s face. A small gift from her to him. A token of her lack of appreciation.
Epilogue
After the crazy week we’d had, it was great to see things finally return to normal. To celebrate the conclusion of the Charlie Dieber case—although in actual fact it had turned out to be the Regan Lightbody case, and Charlie Dieber didn’t feature into the affair at all, much to the singer’s dismay—Tex decided to organize one of his fabled barbecues, and so the whole family gathered in Tex and Marge’s backyard that night, to enjoy a nice dinner.
Brutus, Dooley and I had taken up our usual perch on the porch swing, where we had an excellent overview of the proceedings, and Odelia had set out some delicious treats for us—the same meat the humans snacked on, only ours was fully raw, of course.
Why humans want to ruin their food by cooking it is beyond me. Then again, a lot of the things humans do is a cause for head-scratching. Though I usually try not to let the revolting scent of their cooking or grilling interfere with my own enjoyment of the feast.
Harriet, who’d been in seclusion inside the house, finally walked out and joined us.
At first things were a little awkward between us. The last words she’d spoken still rankled. ‘I never want to see you again for as long as I live’ is one of those statements it’s a little hard to walk back on. She was still alive, and she was seeing us right now, so…
She cleared her throat. “Look, you guys. I owe you an apology. I mean…” She cast an apologetic look at Brutus, her former boyfriend. “I guess Diego fooled me.”
“Not for the first time,” Brutus couldn’t help but point out.
I placed a paw on his leg. “Don’t be petty, Brutus. Let’s hear what she has to say.”
“Yeah, the joke is on me, isn’t it?” Harriet said bitterly. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…” She sighed, directing a searching look into the distance, beyond the cloud of thick, black smoke wafting up from Tex’s barbecue, a clear indication he was torching his sausages again. “I thought he’d changed his ways, you know,” she said. “He told me he was now a different, better cat. That I brought out the best in him. I guess Diego’s best was not all that good to begin with. When I heard how happy he was to go and live with that Kitty Nala person, and that he didn’t even give a single thought to me—as if I didn’t even exist…”
She brought a distraught paw to her quivering lip, and tears glistened in her eyes.
It was obvious that she hadn’t fully recovered from the terrible episode yet.
“I heard everything, you know. I was in my box but I could hear the whole thing.”
“Oh, sweetness,” said Brutus, sidling closer to her. “Forget about that cat. He isn’t worth a single tear.”
“I know,” she said, nodding hard, then turned her tear-streaked face up to Brutus. “You’re so nice to me, Brutus. Why are you so nice?”
“Because I care about you, babycheeks. You’re my girl. You’ll always be my girl.”
“Oh, Brutus.”
“There, there. Now lemme dry those tears. Everything is gonna be all right.”
“Oh, honey bucket. I missed you.”
“I missed you too, buttercup.”
“Oh, booksie-bug.”
“Oh, snooksie-tootsie-wootsie.”
“I’m gonna be sick,” Dooley announced, making a face.
I grinned. “Looks like things are back to normal on the home front, buddy.”
“Yuck.”
And while the lovebirds renewed their lovebirdiness, Dooley and I watched the Pooles come together and prepare to be poisoned by Tex’s nonexistent barbecue skills.
“So did you get a confession, Uncle Alec?” Odelia was asking as she held up her glass of rosé.
“I most certainly did,” the Chief said. “And I didn’t even have to beat him up.” When his comment attracted worried glances from his family members, he quickly added, “That was a joke. I would never beat up my prisoners. Not even the nasty ones.”
“Nugent confessed to the whole thing,” Chase chimed in. “Said he thought that if Ray and Toby were out of the picture Regan would come crying to him, and eventually develop feelings deeper than mere friendship. When that didn’t happen, he decided she had to die.”
“Yeah, a real Romeo, that one,” said Alec.
“I think it’s sad,” intimated Marge, who was officiating the carving of a big slice of roast that she’d prepared on the grill just in case her husband’s barbecue prowess failed them.
“Yeah, it’s pretty sad,” Odelia agreed. “But at least Regan is fine. And Jason Nugent will be punished for his crimes.”
“I still don’t get how you got it,” Chase said, returning to one of his favorite themes. “I mean, those hunches of yours are quickly becoming the stuff of legend, Poole.”
Odelia shrugged and took a sip of her wine, her eyes sparkling as much as the wine did. She wasn’t going to reveal her big secret to Chase, who would never understand.
I cast a look at Vesta, who’d been remarkably quiet throughout the evening.
“What’s the matter with Grandma?” asked Dooley, following my gaze. “She hasn’t spoken a word all day. It’s not like her to be in silence. And when she put out my bowl she gave me an extra cuddle and said, ‘You’re the only in this house who truly loves me, Dooley. My one true friend. The only one who would never betray me.’ What was that all about?”
We watched as Grandma Muffin sat cloaked in resolute silence, her lips pressed together in a thin line and her wrinkly face a thundercloud. She was even refusing to take nourishment, causing Marge to dart occasional exasperated glances in her direction.