Chapter 49
It had been an eventful day, so I was glad to be home again. Gran was out, and so were Odelia and the rest of the family, but when we arrived at the house Milo was ensconced on the couch as if he owned the place—which by now he probably thought he did—so I decided it was time for a heart-to-heart with our annoying visitor.
“Where have you been?” he asked when I trotted in through the pet door.
“Your former home,” I said, and watched his response.
A slight smile slid up his face. “Slumming, have you?”
“Why did you send Brutus to the pound?” I asked.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“You wanted to show him what it was really like, didn’t you?”
He didn’t respond.
“How did you end up there?”
He shrugged. “I merely was part of the entertainment. The all-star band to entertain the inmates. Like Elvis Presley with his Jailhouse Rock.”
“Oh, don’t give me that crap, Milo,” I said. “You may fool others but you don’t fool me.”
He gave me a quick sideways look. “No, I guess I can’t.” He paused, seeming to think things through, then finally relented. “Fine. I was part of a litter of five. All of us were relegated to the pound, along with our mother. Punishment for her human’s stupidity, I guess. What human doesn’t understand that cats have a tendency to get pregnant? At any rate, I spent a good chunk of time down there, watching my brothers and sisters be doled out to deserving new owners, as well as my own mother. Finally my time came and I ended up with Aloisia and I was glad for it.”
“She treats you well?”
“I can’t complain. Only problem is that she doesn’t allow me to go outside.”
“That’s not very nice.”
“It’s her way of protecting me. In fact this vacation at Odelia’s is the first time I’ve been allowed out for years. And it’s been a lot of fun.”
“Why do you keep spreading lies and setting cats up against each other?”
His mouth closed with a click of his incisors. “I’m not sure I like your tone, Max.”
“I know you don’t, but I still want you to answer me.”
He glared at me for a moment. “You’re way too smart for your own good.”
“Is it because you developed lying as a coping mechanism at the pound?”
“And now you lost me, Mr. Amateur Shrink.”
“I think it is. I think you learned to survive by creating trouble amongst the others—anything so they wouldn’t notice what you were up to. Did you steal their food when they weren’t looking? Drink their milk when they were fighting amongst themselves?”
Milo laughed. “You think they serve milk in there? You are so naive, Max.”
I studied him for a moment. “What if I convinced Odelia to talk to Aloisia? Tell her to give you more freedom? Install a pet door, just like the one we have? That way you wouldn’t be confined to the house. You could even come and visit. Go to cat choir. Be free.”
He was regarding me suspiciously, as if trying to detect either a flaw in my reasoning or duplicity in my offer. He must have realized I wasn’t kidding, for he finally said, “Why would you do this for me, Max? I haven’t exactly been very nice to you or the others.”
“I don’t think you’re a bad cat, Milo. In fact I think deep down you’re a decent one.”
“You don’t know me very well, do you?”
I shrugged. “I guess I don’t. But I’m willing to take a chance on you. Are you willing to take a chance on me?”
For the first time since I’d made Milo’s acquaintance he was speechless. Finally, he said, with a lump in his throat. “I know I’ll probably regret this but… I am, Max.”
“Great. That’s settled then.” I held up my paw. “Put it there, ‘bro.’”
After a moment’s hesitation, he did put it there, and we shook paws on it.
Just then, the others walked in. “Hey, did you hear about Kit Katt & Koh, Milo?” asked Dooley.
“No, what happened?” asked Milo.
“Only that Kit Katt likes to kick cats for a living.”
“She doesn’t kick cats for a living, Dooley,” Brutus. “She was clearly drunk.”
“Drink brings out the inner you, Brutus,” said Harriet. “So she’s a cat hater.”
“That’s not necessarily true,” said Brutus. “And I don’t think she hates cats.”
And as the others chattered on, I saw that Milo was quietly smiling to himself. We locked eyes for a moment, and he gave me a nod of understanding. ‘Thanks, Max,’ he mouthed silently, and I mouthed back, ‘You’re welcome.’
Epilogue
Tex was watching on as Chase expertly turned the burger patties on the grill. I think everybody was happy Tex wasn’t in charge of the proceedings. Dr. Tex may know his way around a human gallbladder, but he can’t grill a burger if his life depended on it. Somehow they always end up looking like charred coal, which apparently humans don’t enjoy.
I know I don’t like to eat my food charred into oblivion, but then I’m a cat, and I like my food raw and bloody. Others, like our good friend Clarice, a feral cat, like to eat their food while it’s still breathing, but then Clarice has always been something of an extremist.
After the great upheaval, life in Hampton Cove had gradually returned to normal. Dickerson’s killers were in jail, Netflix had put Kit Katt & Koh on hiatus while its star went into rehab, and an anonymous benefactor had launched a campaign to offer all of the pets at the local pound new homes. Rumor had it that benefactor was Brenda Berish.
I told you. Once people fall in love with cats they become fans for life.
A row of cats was now lined up on Marge and Tex’s patio: me, Dooley, Harriet, Brutus and… Milo. Over the last couple of days the erstwhile terror had settled down and was starting to become almost like a regular feline. He still had a ways to go, though, considering that just that morning he’d convinced Dooley that if you pull a cat’s tail really hard a nugget of gold drops out of its mouth. Ever since then Dooley has been telling Odelia to pull his tail so she can become a millionairess.
“So what’s happening with Tracy?” asked Marge as the entire family convened around the table. “When is she going to join us?”
“Soon,” Uncle Alec promised with a smile. And when Marge tried to heap a pile of fries onto his plate he quickly declined. “I’m trying to lose weight,” he announced, patting his ominously large stomach fondly.
Odelia cocked an eyebrow. “Is this Tracy’s doing? If so, I like her even more.”
“That woman is such an avid hiker that if I hope to stand a chance keeping up I need to lose at least thirty pounds. At one point she said she thought there was something wrong with her ears as she kept hearing this strange thumping sound. I didn’t have the nerve to tell her that was my heart beating so fast I thought it would pop out through my throat.”
“I think it’s great that you’ve decided to take better care of yourself,” said Marge.
“And I think this Tracy is one overbearing female,” said Grandma. “I mean, look at you, Alec. You’re perfect just the way you are.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Alec muttered, munching down on a piece of lettuce.
“A real man got heft,” Gran continued. “Nobody likes a skeleton.”
Chase joined the others, placing a plate of perfectly grilled patties on the table. Tex, holding onto a bottle of beer, held it up in a salute. “I want to congratulate the law enforcement members of this family on a job well done. You, too, Odelia.”
“Thanks,” said Odelia. “I think it’s all very sad, though.”
“It is,” her mother agreed.
Tex had brought out the small television he’d recently purchased and they watched for a moment as President Wilcox laid a wreath on a grave, then held his hand to his chest while the National Anthem sounded.