“I don’t believe this,” said the Sheikh, upsetting his own very nice hair by dragging a hand through it. “So you murdered my father’s wife, and now you tried to murder her daughter, my sister.”
“Murder is such a loaded term, sir,” said Sharif. “I like to think of it as providing a permanent solution to a difficult problem.”
“Looks like this isn’t the first time you’ve done this,” Chase grunted, as he clearly had to restrain himself from giving the fellow a good thrashing.
“Look, I’m very sorry,” said the Sheikh. “If I’d known…” He turned to Loretta. “Are you all right?”
“I’ll live,” croaked Loretta, touching her throat, where we could clearly see Sharif’s fingers imprinted on her skin.
“This is just terrible. First off, I want you to arrest this man.”
“Sir!” said Sharif.
“I can’t,” said Chase. “He’s got diplomatic immunity, so we can’t touch him.”
“Fine. I’ll deal with him myself,” said the Sheikh. “And as far as you are concerned, I think I owe you all a large debt of gratitude. A debt of gratitude so big I don’t even know where to begin.” He offered Loretta a toothy smile—the man had a great dentist. “It took thirty-five years for us to meet, but now that I found you—or you found me—I don’t want to have this unexpected connection severed again. Please take me to meet your grandparents, so I can personally tell them what a fine job they did raising you, and to offer my sincere apologies for this man’s atrocities.”
“I merely did what was best for the country,” said Sharif stiffly.
“Well, you’ll be able to spend the rest of your life contemplating your crimes… in prison,” said the Sheikh. And when two burly guards finally materialized in the room, he said, “Please take this man into custody. He’s to be deported back to Khemed at once and tried for his crimes.”
And as Sharif was led away, the Sheikh shook his head.“What a terrible, terrible waste. I’ve vowed to change the way things are done in my country, and this is a good moment to start. By getting rid of the old regime, and instituting some sweeping changes.”
“Better watch out,” said Chase. “Or else they’ll try to strangle you, too.”
“Thank you for the warning, Mr. Kingsley. I’ll take the necessary precautions.” He regarded his sister’s bruises with a look of anger mixed with sadness. “I better take you to see my doctor.”
“You have a doctor?” Loretta croaked.
“Are you kidding? I never travel without my personal physician. One of the perks of being sheikh.”
We watched brother and sister leave, and just as they walked out, a man walked in.“Who asked for a hairdresser?” he announced, then frowned as he took in the strange scene.
“Fido!” said Dooley, then lowered his eyes to the Maine Coon at the man’s feet. “Buster!”
“Hey, you guys,” said Buster. “Fancy meeting you here!”
“You came back!” said Dooley as we all crowded around our friend.
“Of course!”
“Um… I guess I can come back later?” Fido said.
“I thought you were in California?” said Gran.
“I was, but things didn’t work out,” said the hair maestro.
“They didn’t need hairdressers over there?” asked Odelia with a smile.
“Well, I thought I’d end up with a group of like-minded individuals and work on the future of our planet, only when I got there I discovered that the Flat Earth Society was hopelessly divided. Part of the organization had decided they wanted to ask Elon Musk to drill a hole through the earth sothey could prove the earth is flat, while a different section wanted to organize an expedition to the world’s end and prove their theories that way. In the end the fighting and the bickering became too much for me, so I decided to chuck the whole thing and come back.”
“And now you’re working at the hotel?”
“I closed up my shop before I left, and my customers have all left me,” he said as he idly played with a comb. “So I just figured I’d start from scratch, and the hotel was the only place that offered to hire me.”
“I think you’ll find that if you open up that shop of yours again,” said Chase, clapping the other man on the back so hard his knees almost buckled, “that your customers will all come flocking back soon enough.”
“I’d come back to you,” said Gran as she touched her tiny white curls. “In fact I’ll come back right now. That hair salon at the mall stinks. They don’t know how to do a perfect perm.”
“Only you know how I like my hair done, Fido,” said Marge.
“Yeah, I missed you, too,” said Odelia.
“Just don’t mention this flat earth business again, will you?” said Marge. “It’s a real turnoff.”
“I won’t,” said Fido with a crooked smile. “I guess I went a little loony there for a while, didn’t I?”
“It’s that darned internet,” said Gran. “It turns everybody looney.”
“I know,” said Fido. “I watched a YouTube video on how to baste a turkey, and the next video was about how to shoot a turkey, and I don’t know how it happened, but suddenly I was watching videos about how the earth is flat, and I couldn’t stop! I watched those videos day and night—I hadthem on autoplay and they just became more and more cuckoo and in the end so did I!”
“That’s YouTube for you. You start with a turkey and end up with a cuckoo.”
“It’s the human brain,” said Dooley. “It’s a very delicate instrument, and a YouTube bombardment can easily destroy the balance that makes it all work together in perfect harmony.”
We all stared at the cat.
Dooley shrugged.“I watch a lot of Discovery Channel. At least it doesn’t melt your brain.”
A round of heartfelt laughter was his reward, and even Fido laughed, though of course he hadn’t understood a word Dooley had said. But the mere fact that three former customers had told him they’d come back in a heartbeat was enough to spirit a big smile onto the hair wizard’s face again.
Epilogue
Tex had fired up the grill, and had provided the rest of the family with an assortment of sausages, steaks, ribs and other goodies, and the scent of deliciousness had even caused our next-door neighbors Ted and Marcie Trapper to stick their heads over the fence and see where that wonderful smell was coming from. So Tex had very magnanimously invited the couple over, and since the Trappers never went anywhere without their precious sheepdog Rufus, the latter was now lying next to us on the porch, and was chewing at a very large rib. His best friend Fifi, a neighboring Yorkie, had also been invited, and was trying to chew through a piece of steak.
“Tex is definitely improving,” said Brutus as he savored the piece of prime beef he’d been fed.
“Yeah, he’s improving with leaps and bounds,” Harriet agreed as she dug her teeth into a hamburger patty.
“I think it’s because he’s finally reconciled himself with his position in life,” I ventured as I enjoyed the taste of a piece of chicken filet.
“And what is his position in life?” asked Dooley, who was nibbling a meatball.
“Being the town doctor, of course.”
We all glanced up at Tex. I still felt a little bad about the way I’d treated him, when all he tried to do was help me get rid of that diamond. Then again, it’s hard to control a bowel movement.
“I’m sorry, Tex!” I cried, not for the first time, I might add.
Tex raised his tongs in recognition. Even though my words eluded him, I think he grasped my intention. He’d forgiven me, I like to add, which just shows what a good-hearted man he is.
The rest of the family were all gathered around the table set up in Tex and Marge’s backyard, and thoroughly enjoying the feast.