“Extremely stressful,” I agreed.
“I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel once and they said money transporters suffer more from stomach ulcers than the average person. I hope Odelia won’t turn this into a regular thing.” He grabbed his stomach. “I think I can feel an ulcer developing already, Max. Can’t you?”
“I think I’m fine for now, Dooley,” I said with a smile. “No ulcers anywhere in sight, I’m happy to say.”
“I’m not so sure, Max,” he said, giving me a dubious look. “It takes years for an ulcer to develop, so one could already be there, only you don’t know it until it’s too late. Same with cancer.”
“I’m sure we’re both fine, Dooley,” I said as we entered the house in Odelia and Chase’s wake. “It’s just one little trip through town, not a lifetime of transporting precious cargo in an armored car.”
“Still,” he said as we set paw inside our living room and immediately relaxed. I don’t know about you, but I always feel there’s no place like home, is there?
“So what do you plan to do with it?” asked Chase as Odelia took the envelope the jeweler had handed her and opened it.
“I’d like to put it in Mom and Dad’s safe immediately,” said Odelia as she studied the stone. It didn’t look all that remarkable to me, to be honest. In fact it looked just like a piece of pink glass. Why a tiny little stone like that should be worth millions was absolutely beyond me.
“So is there a picture of a pink lady in that stone, Odelia?” asked Dooley eagerly. “Can I see it?”
Odelia laughed, and when she translated Dooley’s words for her husband, the burly cop emitted a hearty laugh, too. “The diamond might be called the Pink Lady, Dooley,” he explained as he crouched down and gave my friend a tickle under his chin, “but there’s no image of a pink lady inside it.”
“There isn’t?” said Dooley, looking distinctly disappointed. “But why?”
“Because there simply isn’t,” said Odelia as she tucked the diamond away again. “Let’s get this over with, shall we? I’ll feel safer once this stone is behind lock and key.”
Together she and Chase walked out the back door and into the backyard, then disappeared through the opening in the hedge that separates our backyard from Odelia’s parents’ little patch of green heaven. And since our mission now seemed at an end, Dooley and I decided to take a breather and take up our position on the smooth lawn once more, before that fickle sun decided to call it a day and turned off the heat.
And we’d just been lying there for a couple of minutes when a voice intruded upon the peace and quiet.
“What’s all this I’m hearing about a Pink Lady?” asked the voice.
I didn’t even have to open my eyes to know who the voice belonged to: Harriet, our white Persian friend. She was trotting up to us, her tail pointing at the sky like a flagpole, Brutus in her wake.
“The Pink Lady isn’t actually a real lady,” said Dooley helpfully. “And she’s not even an image of a pink lady. She’s just a pink stone, so why they’re calling her a lady I really don’t know.”
“Probably because the diamond is pink and was a gift for a lady,” I said.
“So where is this diamond now?” asked Harriet as she lay herself down next to us.
“It’s in Marge and Tex’s safe,” I said. “The jeweler didn’t feel comfortable having it at the shop, and Uncle Alec didn’t feel comfortable having it at the police station, so Odelia thought it would be a good idea to put it where nobody would think to look, at least until they can getin touch with the owners of the precious gem.”
“Precious, huh?” said Brutus, joining us on the lawn. “How much, you think?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. “The jeweler told us it’s priceless, but he also said it’s worth millions, so make of that what you will.”
“Millions,” said the butch black cat, and a strange glimmer came into his eyes, and when I glanced over to Harriet, I saw that the same glimmer was mirrored in her strikingly green eyes as well.
“It used to belong to the Sheikh’s wife,” Dooley explained. “She was the Sheikh’s ninety-ninth wife, but then she died, and then the stone disappeared, and then the Sheik died, though I’m not sure when, but now his son is the new sheikh, and I’m not sure how many wives he’s got, butthen the stone turned up on the beach, and then fake cops tried to take the stone, and Odelia recognized the fake cops but she wouldn’t tell us who they were, though she whispered their names to Chase in the car, and I think she said it was Johnny and Jerry. Isn’t that right, Max?”
I nodded. Even though for some reason Odelia hadn’t wanted us to find out that our two criminal friends were up to their old tricks again, of course we’d heard what she said loud and clear.
“So millions, huh?” said Brutus, as if he hadn’t heard Dooley’s entire iteration of the story. “That’s a lot of dough, fellas. Imagine what we could do with millions.”
“Odelia could buy herself and her family a castle,” said Harriet, “and then we could live like kings.” That glimmer was shining more brightly than ever now. “She could really pamper us and we could all live in the lap of luxury if the Pooles had those millions at their disposal.”
“First off, they don’t have millions at their disposal,” I said, deciding the best way to deal with this glimmer, which I recognized as the glimmer of greed, was to nip it in the bud. “And second, there’s nothing millions could buy that we don’t already have. I mean, we have food, and aperfect home, and the best humans, and great friends—what difference are millions going to make?”
Harriet turned an icy glare on me.“God, Max, you’re so pedestrian.”
“Of course Max is a pedestrian,” said Dooley. “He’s never learned how to drive a car.”
“Don’t you see this is the chance of a lifetime?” Harriet continued, ignoring Dooley. “If Odelia sells that stone to the highest bidder we’re set for life. None of the Pooles will ever have to work again, they could spend the rest of their lives on a yacht in the South of France and live the most amazing wonderful fabulous life!”
“I don’t think I’d like to live on a yacht,” said Dooley, striking the discordant note. “I was on a cruise ship and I almost got eaten by a big nasty bird. So I guess I haven’t found my sea paws yet.”
“Oh, Dooley,” said Harriet with a sigh. “You’re almost as pedestrian as Max.”
“More pedestrian,” Brutus pointed out.
“I think I’ll have a word with Odelia now,” said Harriet as she eagerly glanced in the direction of the hedge. “It’s obvious she needs a little guidance from her favorite feline.”
So she and Brutus skedaddled, and Dooley and I were left staring after them.
“I didn’t know Harriet was Odelia’s favorite feline,” said Dooley.
“She isn’t,” I assured him. “It’s just that Harriet wants something from Odelia and she thinks flattery will get her there.”
“Do you really think Odelia will sell the Pink Lady and become a millionaire?”
“No, I don’t think so. She might even refuse a reward if one is offered. She’ll insist that seeing the happiness on the rightful owner’s face is enough reward for her.”
“Well, phew. I really don’t want to live on a yacht, Max.”
“Me, neither, Dooley.”
10
Now that the diamond was safe, and the powers that be were engaged in tracking down its rightful owner, it was time to tackle the problem that really should be at the forefront of our minds: how to save Buster’s human from self-destruction!
And so as we lay there, I rallied my mental faculties and directed them toward solving that seemingly unsolvable problem.
“So how do you convince someone who’s one hundred percent convinced of something that they’re heading down a dangerous path?” I asked, thinking out loud as I sometimes do.