“Hey, that’s my ball, Vesta,” said Ted.
“If this is your ball, then why are you making my cat try to catch it?” she asked.
“A reasonable question,” Dooley said, nodding.
“He’s not your cat anymore,” said Ted with a touch of belligerence. “Brutus is mine now.”
“Oh, you idiot,” said Vesta, and I wondered if she was referring to Ted or to Brutus. Maybe to both. “Catch, Ted,” she said, then brought her arm back like a pro pitcher, and threw that ball straight onto the roof of Ted’s house!
“Hey!” said Ted. “You did that on purpose!”
“Of course I did that on purpose, you silly man,” said Gran. “And if you catch the ball for me I’ll give you a pat on the head and tell you that you’re a good boy. Now fetch!”
And with these words, she broke out into raucous laughter and was gone.
12
Odelia was just relaxing on the couch—it was Chase’s turn to cook dinner—and going over her notes for the story about the Hampton Heisters’ breakin at Katrina MacKney’s house, when her phone suddenly attracted her attention. When she picked it from the coffee table, she saw she’d received a message from an unknown number.Much to her surprise the message read, ‘Hi Odelia. This is Carl Strauss. We met today at the links. I’ve been giving what you told me some more thought and I would like to meet and discuss a possible solution. How about tonight at my place? Ten o’clock too late for you?’
“Oh, this is great,” she said.
“What is it, babe?” Chase called from the kitchen.
“A message from Carl Strauss!” she said. “He wants to meet tonight. I think he just might be coming around on the whole divorce thing after all!”
Chase came walking out of the kitchen, an apron tied to his muscular torso and wearing a frown on his face.“Are you sure this is such a good idea? Carl Strauss is as famous for his golf swing as he is for being a playboy. What if he just wants you to drop by so he can put the moves on you?”
“No way. You should have seen him this afternoon. The guy doesn’t even like me. No, I’m pretty sure all he wants is to talk about the divorce.”
“Maybe I should tag along.”
“No, I better go by myself. This is my chance to convince him a divorce is the best thing for everyone. And if you suddenly show up he just might change his mind again.”
Chase didn’t look convinced, but since he basically trusted Odelia’s judgment, he nodded and returned to the kitchen.
“What are you cooking?” asked Odelia.
“Spaghetti bolognese,” said Chase.
Odelia grinned. Chase was probably the best husband any woman could hope to find, but unfortunately when it came to his cooking skills, the man was a one-hit wonder.
Just then, Gran walked in, looking like a cat who caught a mouse.
“What are you looking so pleased about?” asked Odelia.
“I just told Ted off,” said Gran. “He’s trying to turn Brutus into a dog, so I gave him a taste of his own medicine.”
“What did you do?”
“I threw his ball on the roof. See if he can catch that!”
“Gran, you shouldn’t antagonize the Trappers. You never know when you might need them.”
“Need them! I’m never going to have any need for Ted Trapper as long as I live. And if I ever do, you better shoot me!”
And with this sentiment clearly expressed, she ducked into the kitchen and asked,“What are you cooking? God, not spaghetti bolognese again!”
“It’s my specialty!” said Chase.
“We had spaghetti yesterday! And the day before!”
“So? Italians eat pasta every day for their entire life. And the oldest Italian just turned a hundred-and-eleven.”
“I don’t want to be a hundred-and-eleven! I just want to eat some decent food!”
“Pasta is good for you, Grandma.”
“Don’t call me Grandma. I’m not your grandmother, Chase Kingsley.”
“You became my grandma when I married your granddaughter. Have a taste of this.”
Slurping sounds emanated from the kitchen, and for a moment silence reigned, then Gran said,“Pretty good. What did you put in this? Cannabis?”
“It’s my secret sauce.”
“So what’s in it?”
“That’s just it. It’s a secret.”
“No, but what’s in it?”
“If I told you it wouldn’t be a secret, Grandma!”
“Stop calling me grandma and tell me what’s in it!”
“Okay, but only if you promise not to tell anyone.”
“I promise, now just tell me before I smack you over the head with this spoon.” The conversation was carried on in whispered tones, and then Gran said, “You son of a gun! Okay, you can call me Grandma from now on.”
“What’s going on here?” asked Mom as she entered through the front door.
“Chase is cooking dinner. Gran has just thrown Ted’s ball on the roof where he can’t get it. And I just got a message from Carl Strauss for a late-night meeting about his divorce. Oh, and Chase revealed the secret ingredient of his spaghetti sauce to Gran, earning himself brownie points.”
“Secret ingredient?” asked Mom as she hung her purse from a chair and lowered herself onto the couch next to her daughter. “What’s the secret ingredient?”
“I just told you Carl Strauss wants to meet and all you care about is Chase’s secret ingredient?”
“I like his sauce, and I’ve always wondered how he does it.”
“Oregano, that’s the secret. But don’t tell him I told you.”
“Oregano? Doesn’t everybody put oregano in their bolognese?”
“They do, but Chase doesn’t know that. He thinks he invented it. Now tell me what I should wear tonight.” It wasn’t every night that one gets invited for an exclusive one-on-one with the world’s most famous and best pro golfer, after all.
“Nothing too revealing if I were you,” said Mom. “Maybe a turtleneck sweater? Or better yet, one of those big fleece sweaters that people can’t see if you’re a boy or a girl. The important thing, honey, is not to give him any reason to jump your bones.”
“He’s not going to jump my bones, Mom. This is a business meeting.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come? This man has the worst reputation.”
“I’m sure.”
The door opened again and Dad walked in.“Mh, something smells good,” he said, sniffing the air expectantly.
“Chase is cooking his famous spaghetti bolognese,” Mom said as she switched on the television and channel-surfed until she found one of the cooking channels that were all the rage. She had a theory that watching people cook and eat caused the stomach to produce those enzymes and juices that give the digestive process a real boost. Or maybe she simply liked to watch people cook and eat, that was also possible, of course.
“I’m starving,” said Dad, dropping down onto the couch next to his wife and daughter. “Ida Baumgartner was in today. Again, I should add.”
“What did she suffer from this time?” asked Odelia. Mrs. Baumgartner was Dad’s most loyal patient. Not a day went by that she wasn’t in his office with some new illness.
“Today she thought she just might be pregnant.”
“Pregnant!” Mom cried.
“I told her that being pregnant at the age of sixty-one is highly unlikely. Also because she claims not to have been with a man since her husband died, which makes it even more unlikely. But she says she’s heard about women getting pregnant without the assistance of a man, and she thinks she just might be one of those women.”
“I think she’s running out of diseases,” said Mom. “She’s used up all of them and now she’s grasping at straws.”
“Oh, there’s still plenty of diseases she hasn’t suffered from yet,” said Dad, rubbing his face.
“Your daughter has a hot date with Carl Strauss tonight,” said Mom, giving Odelia a pointed look. “Now what are you going to do about it?”
“Do about it? Our daughter is old and wise enough to handle herself, honey.”
“And it’s not a date, Mom,” said Odelia. “Like I said, it’s a business meeting.”