“Uncle Alec, you scared me!”
“A police chief needs to be scary sometimes.”
She realized she was sweating.“I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Well, now you know. So what do you think happened last night? Did Emma Hudson or one of her colleagues try to kill Carl, or do you think Erica is involved somehow?”
“Erica? Why would you think that?”
“Because she wanted a divorce and Carl wasn’t willing to give her one, so maybe she figured the only way out of that marriage was to get rid of Carl once and for all.”
“Did you talk to her? Does she have an alibi for last night?”
He tapped the table.“I did talk to her, and she doesn’t have an alibi. Well, at least not one to speak of. She was home alone last night, with no one to corroborate that. So I’m adding her to my list of suspects if you don’t mind.”
“As long as you take me off your list of suspects.”
He gave her a reassuring smile.“My instincts tell me you’re in the clear. But I had to make sure. Those fingerprints on that club don’t lie, and no judge is going to look kindly on a police chief who doesn’t investigate a suspect simply because she happens to be family.”
“I still don’t understand how my prints came to be on that club.”
“You went golfing with Carl yesterday?”
“Yeah, I did. But I didn’t use his clubs. I used my own clubs—well, the ones I rented from the club.”
“Mh,” said her uncle musingly as he rubbed his chin. “The only explanation I can think of is that you somehow handled that club while you were out golfing with Carl yesterday. But if you tell me that you never touched his clubs…”
“I didn’t. I swear. I don’t think he’d let anyone near his personal clubs, either.”
“Then I’m afraid, honey, I can’t take you off my list of suspects. Officially, at least.”
20
“Look, Charlene,” said Vesta as she gave the little white ball a good whack, making it zoom across the fairway and hit a nearby tree. “I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse, okay?”
“And what offer would that be?” asked Charlene with a bemused smile as she watched the spectacle unfold.
“I want to build three extra floors on top of the original two, see?”
“Okay.”
“So I’ve been told I need some kind of permit to do that. Not that I understand why the government should stick their big nose into my private affairs, but fine. I’m a law-abiding citizen just like the next person, so I’m not going to start building those floors without permission.”
“That’s good to know,” said Charlene. She’d accepted her boyfriend’s mother’s invitation wondering what the old lady could possibly have to talk to her about, and now she was starting to regret having come out here to the Riviera Country Club already.
“So I’m going to ask you straight out: are you going to give me permission to build those extra floors and make my family some extra money or not? It’s a simple question.”
“No, I’m not going to do that,” said Charlene curtly. “And for a good reason.”
“I don’t want to know about your reasons,” said Vesta, holding up her hand.
“You don’t?”
“No, cause like I said, I’m here to make you an offer. I’m going to give you ten thousand dollars, cash in hand, if you give me that permit.”
Charlene stared at the old woman.“For your sake as well as mine I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear what you just said, Vesta.”
“Okay, so how about twenty?”
“Vesta Muffin!”
“Thirty thousand smackeroos and that’s my final offer!”
“You have got to be kidding me,” said Charlene, shaking her head and starting to walk back to the club house.
“You drive a hard bargain, lady!” Vesta called after her. “Thirty-five thousand!”
“You’re out of your mind!”
“Forty! I can’t go any higher than that or my daughter will kill me, and so will my son-in-law!”
“I suggest you save your money—and your breath!”
She took out her phone and dialed the number at the top of the list. Alec picked up on the first ring.“Alec, do you know what your mother just did?”
Her boyfriend heaved a sigh that seemed to come from very deep.“Do I? Do I really?”
“She just tried to bribe me into giving her permission to erect a couple of extra floors on top of her house.”
“She did what?”
“She offered me forty thousand in cash!”
“She’s nuts—did you tell her she’s nuts?”
“I told her she should shut up, but she kept on going, raising the offer from ten thousand to forty thousand.”
“Fifty thousand!” suddenly a voice sounded in Charlene’s rear, and when she glanced over her shoulder, she saw that Vesta was chasing her, golf club in hand!
“She’s chasing me, Alec, and she’s got a weapon!” Charlene cried, and started running—running for her life!
“Come back here!” Vesta yelled. “I’m not done with you!”
“But I’m done with you!” Charlene bellowed.
And so it was that the people enjoying a drink in the outdoor bar witnessed a strange scene that day: the Mayor of Hampton Cove, being chased around the fairway by a little old lady waving a golf club and screaming a choice series of profanities at her.
About twenty minutes into this rare and highly entertaining spectacle, a police car arrived, and a large chief of police crawled out, then commandeered a golf cart and started steering it in the direction of the little old lady and started chasing her. The little old lady abruptly changed course, and for the next few minutes the chase was reversed: now the Mayor, who’d hopped onto the golf cart, was chasing the old lady, who kept up a nice lead, which was remarkable at her age. She was still waving the golf club, though, and still making disparaging remarks at the twosome who were now giving chase.
Moments later they finally caught up with her. The old lady gave the golf cart a serious whack across the front, and consequently the police chief wrested the club from her hands and managed to overpower her and place her in the golf cart. And as the gobsmacked audience watched on, the old lady was duly placed under arrest and unceremoniously bundled into the police car.
“Show is over, folks!” Madam Mayor shouted, waving her hands. “Nothing to see!”
And then Charlene Butterwick got into the police car, next to her boyfriend Alec Lip, and moments later the police car took off with screaming siren and flashing blue light.
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“What were you thinking, offering the Mayor a bribe!” Alec shouted at his aged mother, who was seated in the same spot where only an hour before his niece had sat.
“I was thinking she was a reasonable woman, but clearly she’s not. And for your information, I wasn’t bribing her, I was merely offering her a business proposition.”
“A business proposition? You realize what you did, don’t you? You offered money to the Mayor in exchange for a building permit. Are you out of your mind?”
“She’s the one that’s out of her mind. She turned me down, can you believe that? Who turns down fifty thousand smackers?”
“Charlene does, that’s who, and I commend her for it. Besides, what do you need a building permit for? I don’t get it.”
“I want to build extra floors, just a couple—is that so wrong?”
“It’s wrong when the people who own the house have clearly told you that they don’t want these extra floors.”
“Oh, don’t you worry about them. They’ll come around when they realize what a perfect business opportunity I got for them.”
“Oh, Ma,” said Alec, shaking his head. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Help me to convince that stubborn girlfriend of yours to take my money!”
“And what’s this I hear about you crashing Marge’s car last night?”
“That was nothing,” said Vesta, suddenly remarkably subdued.
“Is it true that you purposelessly ran your car into Wilbur Vickery’s car?”