“No, sir, I sure didn’t. If I had I would have intervened. Lord knows I hated Jaqlyn’s guts, but beating him to death seems a little harsh. I would have simply taken him to court if I were in Doc Poole’s shoes.”
“So you heard about the animosity that existed between the two doctors?”
“Who hadn’t? It was a well-known fact Jaqlyn was doing a real number on the Doc. Tarnishing his reputation and stealing his patients. But like I said, that’s no reason to go and beat him over the head with… What did he use, exactly, if I may ask?” There was a touch of wistfulness in his voice, as if secretly regretting he hadn’t thought of the same thing.
“We haven’t found the murder weapon yet,” said Uncle Alec. “But we’ll find it,” he was quick to assure the other man.
“I’d go for aluminum,” said Barney, offering an expert’s opinion. “Aluminum baseball bat. One nice whack and it’s game over. I wouldn’t use wood. Wood cracks. You don’t want that.”
“Okay,” said Alec, eyeing the man a little strangely.
“Or a billy club. A metal one. Limit the point of impact.”
This time Alec didn’t respond, but merely stared at the other man.
“Of course there’s a lot to be said for your plain old hammer,” Barney allowed magnanimously. “You can call me old-fashioned but a good hammer is like a best friend. Always there when you need it. Never fails to get the job done, if you see what I mean.”
“I think Barney is sad that Tex killed Jaqlyn first,” Dooley commented, and I thought he was probably right.
We searched around for any pet witnesses, and found a small dog of the Schnauzer variety following the buzz of activity on his street with marked interest.
So we sidled up to the hirsute canine, careful not to startle him or her, and introduced ourselves.
“Hi, my name is Max,” I said, “and this is my friend Dooley. We’re Odelia Poole’s cats. Odelia is investigating the murder of Jaqlyn Jones and has asked us to participate in the investigation.”
“Oh, hi,” said the Schnauzer. “I’m Jack, and that’s my human over there.” He gestured with his snout to Barney, who now stood pontificating about different types of hammers and their respective advantages and disadvantages in dispensing with annoying neighbors.
“So did you know Jaqlyn?” I asked, opening my inquiries with a softball question.
“I knew of him,” said Jack. “Barney didn’t like him very much, and frankly neither did I. You see, Barney possesses a nice little plot of land located right behind Jaqlyn’s house, only Jaqlyn forbade him access, and they’ve been fighting about it for a while now. Only a couple of days ago Jaqlyn put a spiky thing on the track and destroyed Barney’s tires. Barney wasn’t happy. In fact he told me he was going to kill Jaqlyn first chance he got.”
This startled me to some degree. “He actually said that?”
“Oh, yes,” said Jack. “He said a lot more, too, but most of that were swear words, and I don’t like to repeat them to two nice and polite cats such as yourselves.”
“That’s very kind of you, Jack,” said Dooley appreciatively.
“Don’t mention it. One does what one can to spread a little sweetness and light in the world, and repeating bad words isn’t part of that endeavor.”
“So… do you think Barney went ahead and did as he promised?” I asked, crossing my fingers and hoping Jack wouldn’t suddenly go all reticent on us. Some pets are like that, especially dogs. They’ll defend their humans regardless of the laws of man.
“I doubt it,” said Jack. “Barney is all talk and little action. Most people who curse a lot are. They release tension by cursing, whereas people who never say a bad word but bottle it all up inside? They’re the ones you have to watch out for. They’re the ones who suddenly explode and slay six in a homicidal frenzy.”
I gulped a little, and so did Dooley. “You seem to know a lot about the subject,” I said.
“Barney and I watch a lot of crime shows,” the dog said with a smile that lifted his hairy beard and mustache. “Seated side by side on the big couch we watch crime shows every night.”
“You like your human a lot, don’t you?” I said.
“Oh, sure, I love the guy. Barney is a little rough around the edges maybe, but he’s got a heart of gold. Dogs can sense it when humans have their hearts in the right place. But then I guess cats can, too.” He gave me an earnest look. “You probably knew the moment you heard the news whether your human was guilty or innocent, didn’t you? I don’t mean Odelia, but her dad. Pets have a way of figuring this stuff out long before the cops do. Am I right or am I right?”
I felt a little ashamed to admit that I had no idea whether Tex was guilty or not.
“I think he wanted to kill Jaqlyn a little bit but he didn’t know his own strength,” said Dooley, subscribing to Brutus’s theory.
“And what about you, Max? What do you think?” asked Jack. “Innocent or guilty?”
“I… I honestly don’t know,” I said. “I mean, can’t a person be good and still do a bad thing?”
“You mean by accident? Sure. We all do stupid things from time to time. But deep down I think you know,” he said now, tapping me on the chest. “Just look into your heart, Max. The truth is right there.”
And with these words, the philosophical Schnauzer with the distinctly shaped hairy facial features trotted off in the direction of his human, to go and sit by the man’s side.
Barney, when he became aware of his dog’s presence, picked him up into his arms. Jack gave the man’s face a lick and I found myself wondering about the dog’s words.
Did I know, deep down inside, whether Tex was guilty or not? I closed my eyes for a moment, and tried to sense what I was feeling. But nothing came. As far as I could tell it really was a toss-up. Though I sure hoped Tex was innocent.
When I opened my eyes again I saw to my surprise that Dooley was looking pained. His face was screwed up and he looked as if he was going through a particularly painful and unsuccessful bowel movement.
“Dooley?” I asked. “Are you all right?”
He blinked and gave me a sad look. “I can’t do it, Max. I can’t make it work.”
“You need to drink more,” I said. “Drink plenty of liquids and everything will come out just fine.”
“What will come out fine?”
“Well, your, um, stool.”
“Oh, my stool is fine,” he assured me. “It’s just that I tried to do as Jack suggested and look into my heart but it doesn’t work. All I see when I close my eyes is darkness. Did it work for you?”
“You don’t literally have to look into your heart,” I said with a laugh. “That’s impossible. You have to look with your mind’s eye.”
“My mind has an eye?” he asked, surprised, and glanced up as if searching for this elusive eye.
I saw that in my attempt to explain a tough concept I’d made things even more complicated, so instead I said, “Just try to feel what’s inside. Do you think that Tex is guilty or not?”
“Oh, but I already did that. Of course he’s guilty. But the most important thing is that we shouldn’t be too hard on him. After all, he killed Jaqlyn for all the right reasons.”
I groaned. “There are no right reasons to justify murder, Dooley. None.”
“There are if the person is really nasty, like Jaqlyn,” he argued.
“No, there aren’t.”
“Are you sure? Not even a little?”
“Not even a teensy tiny bit.”
It was obvious I’d given him some food for thought, for as I scoured the street in search of other witnesses to the recent and tragic events, he lapsed into silence.
“All right,” he said at length, “but I’m still going to keep liking Tex. No matter what he did.”
“Fair enough,” I said, and saw that a flock of birds were positioned in a nearby tree.
Time to bring out the inner diplomat.
Chapter 29
Odelia saw how Sarah Flunk walked away from Mayor Butterwick, closing the little notebook officers of the law consider part of their basic equipment, and decided to consult with her first.