Chapter 24
The moment we’d long been waiting for had finally arrived: Odelia had told us that she was going to get more serious about dental hygiene and she hadn’t been kidding. The reason for this was that recently I’d lost three teeth, due to the fact that they’d apparently outlived their usefulness. Yes, it happens, even to cats. And then Vena had advised Odelia to be more proactive in dental care and now there we were, the four of us filing into the bathroom to undergo our first ever session of having our teeth brushed.
It may surprise you to know this, but cats are incapable of brushing their own teeth. I know, for super creatures like us this is a strange state of affairs but there you have it. We need a human to do the brushing for us, unfortunately.
“What do you prefer?” asked Odelia. She was holding up two dangerous-looking devices. “Manual or electric?”
I hesitated. Tough choice. “Um… what’s the difference?”
“Oh, Max, hurry up, will you?” said Harriet. “You’re holding up the line.”
“No, I just want to know what the difference is. How can I be expected to choose between two unknowns?”
“They’re not unknowns,” said Harriet. “One is manual and the other electric. How hard is it to grasp a simple concept?”
“Does it hurt?” asked Dooley. “It looks like it might hurt. Is it painful?”
“No, it doesn’t hurt, Dooley,” said Odelia. “In fact it’s a very pleasant experience, provided you don’t apply too much pressure on the gums.”
“Yes, please don’t apply pressure on my gums,” he said. “My gums are very sensitive. I have very sensitive gums. Like, extremely sensitive.”
“And how would you know?” said Brutus. “Have you ever tried brushing your teeth before?”
“Um, no,” said Dooley as he licked his gums.
“Well, then? Just go ahead and do it already,” said Harriet. “I don’t have all night, you know. I have cats to see, places to visit.”
“Try the electric one,” I said. “That’s probably the most modern, right?”
“Yes, it’s important to be modern,” Dooley agreed. “We’re modern cats so we should have a modern way of brushing our teeth.”
“All right,” said Odelia, and applied a little bit of toothpaste to the toothbrush, then approached me. I automatically recoiled. “Open your mouth, Max,” she said. “Say aaah.”
I said, “Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”
“Oh, we’ve been through this already,” said Harriet. “Just do it already. Go, go, go!”
I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth a little.
“Wider,” said Odelia. “Wider, Max.”
“How hard can it be to open your mouth, Max?” asked Harriet, who was in one of her moods again.
“Just open as wide as you can,” said Odelia. “That’s it. Now who’s a good boy?”
I don’t like being talked to like a toddler, but I did as I was told and opened my mouth wide.
Now I want to add a minor PSA. Don’t try this at home, folks. Most cats are not as well-behaved and well-trained as we are, and if you try to come anywhere near them with a toothbrush they’ll bite you. And then they’ll scratch you. And when they’re done biting you and scratching you they’ll punch you in the eyeball. And if you use an electric toothbrush they won’t be happy that you’re being ‘modern’ but they’ll bite you even harder, because most cats don’t like mechanical noises. But since this was Odelia, and I still had the recollection of having three teeth pulled by Vena, I was willing to give it a shot.
She lowered the toothbrush to my teeth and applied gentle pressure, then moved it all around.
“It’s not so bad,” I said, though the words probably didn’t come out that clearly.
“What did you say, Max?” asked Dooley.
“I said it’s not so bad!” I repeated.
“I didn’t get that,” said Brutus. “Did you get that, Harriet?”
“Who cares?” said Harriet. “As long as things are zipping along I’m happy. Just do the other side and be done with it, Odelia.”
“Careful now,” said Odelia. “I’m going to try massaging your gums a little.”
Now that was too much. “It tickles!” I giggled, and promptly clamped down on the toothbrush. There was the sound of a crack, and when I opened my mouth again the thing had changed its tune. Instead of the nice humming sound it now produced a high-pitched whine. And then there was that odd smell. Like something burning. Yuck.
“Uh-oh,” said Odelia.
“You broke it!” Harriet cried. “I don’t believe this, Max—you broke the thing!”
“She’s right,” said Odelia, frowning at her electric toothbrush. “You bit down so hard you cracked the plastic.”
“Oops,” I said.
“Oh, well,” said Dooley, suddenly sounding a lot happier. “Maybe next time.”
“Don’t worry, you guys” said Odelia. “I have plenty of other brushes.” And she removed the one I’d broken and snapped another one on top of the device.
“Oh, shoot,” Dooley muttered.
And so began a new chapter in our lives: from that moment on our snappers would always be squeaky clean, and plaque-free—whatever plaque is.
“Plaque is the enemy,” Odelia explained. “We have to fight plaque.”
“Great,” I said as I grimaced. That toothpaste tasted horrible. “Can I go now?”
“Yes, you can,” said Odelia, giving me a pat on the head. “You did good, Max. Next!”
Harriet, of course, was the next one to experience the miracle of the electric toothbrush, and before long she had a toothpaste smile, too.
“Plaque is the enemy,” repeated Dooley reverently when it was his turn.
“That’s right,” said Odelia as she carefully applied brush to teeth and gums.
“And here I always thought dogs were the enemy,” said Brutus. “Just goes to show you’re never too old to learn new stuff.”
Soon all of us had taken a turn on the hot seat and as we smacked our gums and tried very much to get the horrible taste of mint out of our mouths, Odelia put away the brush.
“Tomorrow, same time, same place,” she said, sounding entirely too happy.
One thing I need to have a word with Odelia about, though, is sharing stuff. I mean, when I passed by the bathroom later that night, I saw how Chase was brushing his teeth with the exact same brush Odelia had used on us. Now I know that humans think sharing is caring, but I, for one, would prefer my own dedicated toothbrush. After all, you never know where Chase’s mouth has been, right?
And when he suddenly took the brush out of his mouth and stared at it, muttering something about a weird taste, then smelled it and grimaced, I could tell he was of the same opinion.
Chapter 25
The next morning, bright and early, Odelia decided to drop by Courtyard Living, the landscaping company Boyd Baker used to work for. She’d discovered it was still in business, though now it probably belonged to the next generation of owners, or an entirely new one.
Courtyard Living was located in an old warehouse, where now a dozen small businesses were housed. She parked her car in the parking lot and got out. The warehouse used to be part of a candy factory, which had moved to another part of town fifteen years ago. She looked around. Someone was putting a display stand outside and carrying clay sculptures to place on top of it, and a wholesale clothes store was opening its doors, welcoming their first customers. It all looked very industrial chic and she liked it. Giving a new purpose to old factory buildings was a good thing. Better than to allow them to run down. She set foot for the landscaping place and as she walked in, several men dressed in green coveralls walked out, carrying gardening tools.