And not by aliens. Or by Tracy Sting.
Chapter 24
“I don’t care what you say, I’m not sleeping next to that woman again,” said Tex.
“You don’t have to sleep with her,” said Marge as she peeled another potato. “If you make peace with her she can go back to her room, and Odelia can have her house back.”
“Make peace with her! Easier said than done. How do you suggest I pull off a miracle like that?”
“You need to figure out some kind of compromise, Tex.”
They were in the kitchen, and Marge was glad that Odelia and Chase had decided to take her mother along for their investigation so she and Tex could have this little chat.
“Look, you have to dig a little deeper. Try to figure out what’s really going on here.”
“What’s going on is that your mother hates her job. She wants to stay home and watch TV instead of being cooped up in that office handling my patients all day long.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong. Vesta loves to socialize, and she loves being a doctor’s assistant. It gives her prestige, and she enjoys being in the thick of things.”
“But she wants to watch her shows. Says sitting at that desk is killing her. Too boring. Unless Scarlett Canyon drops by, of course,” he added with a grin, “to spice things up.”
“Why don’t we buy her a tablet computer? That way she can watch all the shows she wants, and surf the web, or play computer games, and it won’t set us back two thousand bucks.”
Tex tapped the table.“She seems to have her mind set on this foldable phone.”
“I think that’s just her opening bid. Pretty sure she’ll settle for a brand-new iPad.”
“How about a second-hand iPad?”
“Tex,” said Marge warningly.
“Look, what she should be doing is work,” he said, as he sniffed at a sausage he’d taken from the fridge. “She should be greeting my patients and answering the phone. What will people think when my receptionist is watchingDays of Our Lives andGeneral Hospitalall day long? Word will spread and soon people will stop coming.”
“They won’t stop coming because you’re the only decent doctor in town.”
“There are other towns, honey, and there’s the clinic. People don’t have to come to me, you know. They can take their hernias and their ingrowing toenails to Denby Jennsen over in Happy Bays, or Cary Horsfield in Hampton Keys. And once I’ve lost all my patients, then what? We’ll have to sell the house and move to a town where nobody knows me or my lousy reputation and start all over again. Or take over an existing practice in Utah or Colorado or Alaska or work for another doctor as his apprentice. I’m too old to be an apprentice, Marge—or to start all over again from scratch.”
“Oh, don’t be such a drama queen,” said Marge as she put the pot with the potatoes on the stove. It was a Berghoff pot, one of a set she was very fond of.
“I’m not being a drama queen! Remember what she did today? Got into a fight with Scarlett over a sausage! A stupid sausage!”
Marge cast a quick glance at the sausage her husband was waving.“Oh, there’s that Duffer. I knew we had one left.”
“Yeah, I keep them at the back of the fridge where Vesta won’t find them. She’s like a rabid dog when she sees them. Attacks without provocation. Just like her crazy friend.”
“I don’t think she’ll like it when you call Scarlett her friend, honey,” said Marge as she glanced out the kitchen window into the backyard. Odd that the cats were nowhere to be found. Usually around dinner time you couldn’t keep them away, as there was always something that fell off the table when their family sat down for dinner. She remembered Vesta’s words about that hunger strike. Knowing her cats they wouldn’t last a day without food. She smiled and took the pork chops from the fridge. They’d be back soon.
“What’s the deal between those two anyway?” asked Tex as he cut a slice off the Duffer and took a bite.
“Oh, you know,” said Marge.
“I know what happened way back when,” he said. “But why are they still at each other’s throats? Your dad is long gone, so there’s no reason for them to be enemies.”
“Vesta likes to hold a grudge. And so does Scarlett. She’s not the innocent bystander in this.”
“So maybe you should try and negotiate a truce?”
She made a scoffing sound.“No way. I don’t want to be torn limb from limb by a pack of rabid old ladies. They’re vicious.”
“And don’t I know it,” he said, massaging his ankle.
“You wanna know what I think? I think they like this feud. It adds spice to their lives.” She moved over to where her husband sat and put a slice of Duffer into her mouth. The meat simply melted on her tongue. “Oh, my God. What do they put in these things?”
“Delicious, huh?”
“Incredible.”
“At least the Duffers managed to put this town on the map.”
“You know?” she said, suddenly feeling magnanimous. “Why don’t we give my mother exactly what she wants?”
“You mean, buy her one of those foldable smartphones?”
“Yeah. I mean, why not? She’s getting on, and she won’t be with us forever. And it’s not as if we can’t afford one, right?”
“Right,” said Tex dubiously. He put another piece of Duffer into his mouth. “I guess we could always sell her old phone, and then add a little extra and buy her a new one.”
Marge sat down on her husband’s lap and gave him a kiss. “And then you will finally be able to sleep with your wife again.”
“Finally,” he said with a smile.
She returned the smile.“You’re the best hubby in the whole wide world, have I ever told you that? And I’m a very lucky girl.”
“You’ve told me, but it never hurts to hear it again,” said Tex, then took another slice and tore it into two pieces, popped one into his mouth and the other one into Marge’s.
“Oh, my God,” she murmured, and gave him another kiss, then lingered. “The house is ours, hubby,” she said hoarsely. “The kids are away, my mom is away, and so are the cats.”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking, wifey?”
She giggled, and then Mr. and Mrs. Poole were scooting up the stairs.
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Chase drove the car into town, and they happened to pass by the Duffer Store. A mass of people had gathered on the sidewalk, and they were shouting something.
“What’s going on over there?” asked Chase.
“Disgruntled customers, probably,” said Odelia.
“Let’s check it out,” said Chase as he parked across the road. He got out and rolled his shoulders, then marched in the direction of the protestors.
“I love it when he does that, don’t you?” said Gran.
“Does what?” asked Odelia, wondering what was up with all this Duffer mania.
“He assumes the cop stance.”
“The cop stance?” said Odelia with a laugh.
“Sure! He straightens his shoulders, lifts his chin, plasters this fierce expression on his face and dives right in. The cop stance! Just like putting on the uniform. And then when he gets home at night, he takes it off, drapes it across the back of the chair and he’s Chase Kingsley again, son,husband… father.”
“I never thought about it like that,” said Odelia, though she had to admit there was some truth to what her grandmother was saying.
“All cops do that,” said Gran, as if she was the world expert on cops. “It’s a part they play, a role they assume, and like any actor they slip in and out of it. Like Robert de Niro or Al Pacino. They become the mobsters they’re playing, and Chase becomes the cop.”
“Well, I don’t think he sees it that way,” said Odelia, “but he probably does have to project a certain authority when he approaches a mob scene like that.”
The commotion was still in full swing, and she now wondered if Chase needed backup.
“It’s because they ran out of Duffers,” said Gran.
“Yeah, I know. I interviewed Colin Duffer this afternoon. They should have fresh Duffers soon. They’ve been working on an entirely new production facility.”