Except that he knew she did it out of pity. It was written all over her face how sorry she felt for him, but it just proved to Kip how sweet she was. How perfect she was.
And she was so pretty, always smelled so good. Her scent reminded Kip of the candy store, with a hint of flowers. Like rose flavored licorice. She never wore any makeup, never dressed in anything provocative, never showed any skin. But she didn’t need to. In Kip’s opinion, she was beautiful, his dream girl, and seeing her sitting there across the cafeteria pitying him hurt like a shotgun wound to his chest. The zits frenzied like they were trying to tear free from his skin.
Throb… throb… throb.
Sure, Jade Brewster was drop-dead gorgeous, was probably the source of every boner in school, but if Kip had his choice, he would take Gwendolyn any day. An easy decision. He had lain in bed many nights, imagining Gwendolyn confessing her love for him, kissing him with tears in her eyes. That was as far as his fantasy ever got, but it was wonderful. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to actually kiss her, to feel her soft lips pressed up against his, her nails scraping across his scalp as they embraced.
Jade Brewster was hot though. And she made appearances in his fantasies too, but they weren’t as sweet as his Gwendolyn ones.
Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen Jade around either. He had seen Jezebel and Sasha, Jade’s clique, and they were hardly ever without her.
Zak skipped school with her. That’s what he did. He lied to me. And now I’m stuck here with all of these assholes. Alone. Like always.
Kip was still hungry, but decided not to finish his food. The sickness growing like mold in his belly overpowered his hunger, and he wrapped a paper towel over the remaining pizza, tucked his comic under his arm, and stood.
“Where you going, dork? I’m not done talking to you.” Chuck weaved his way through the tables toward Kip, his buddies, Cash and Jerrod, following behind like a pair of pilot fish to a Great White. Kip wondered if either of them could actually think for himself. They were like moons trapped in Chuck’s gravitational pull.
“Leave him alone, Chuck.” Gwendolyn was on her feet now. “Does it make you feel like a big man picking on someone smaller than you?”
At the sound of her voice, after hearing her stick up for him like that, Kip had to grab the edge of the table as his acne came alive. It pulsed so hard, he wondered if any of the other kids could see his face moving, see his skin thumping like he was filled with one giant beating heart, pressing tight against his skin from the inside. Hearing Gwendolyn’s tone as she stood up to Chuck, knowing why she was doing it, might have been worse than her joining in on the ridicule.
She thinks I’m pathetic. She thinks I’m a loser. And she’s right.
“What, you want me to pick on you instead?” Chuck now stood just in front of Kip, but had his eyes on Gwendolyn. He grabbed his crotch and licked his lips. “I gotta pick right here for you, girl. And I know you want it.”
Cash and Jerrod chuckled, both still staring Kip down hard. Kip kept his eyes on the table, chancing glances at Gwendolyn every few seconds.
“You’re a fucking pig. All of you are.”
“What the fuck did you just say, bitch? Maybe I’ll shove my dick down your throat, shut you the fuck up.”
“Hey,” Kip said. He was on his feet, and the sudden motion of standing tossed his chair onto its side behind him. Now all attention was back on him. Chuck’s head turned slow, like an owl’s, and his eyes looked like open flames on his face. “L-leave her alone, okay? If you need someone to pick on, just pick on me.”
Each bead of sweat felt like it had tiny spindly legs that tickled him as they ran down his flesh. He could feel each individual pimple now, each one calling his attention all at the same time. Each one inflated and deflated like a frogs’ throat.
The tingling became so intense that he started to feel his pants tighten. His erection pressed up against his cold zipper and demanded to be let free, and all Kip could do was hunch his back some and hope nobody noticed.
“What’d you say, you little faggot?” Chuck took a long step toward Kip.
Kip closed his eyes, turned his head, and awaited the fist that was surely on its way to his face. Chuck had never actually hit him before, had kept it to verbal abuse, a few shoves here and there. But Kip had never stood up to him, had always just taken it.
“What’s going on in here?”
Kip’s eyes burst open at the sound of Mrs. Lee’s voice. One of the assistant principals. She was always nice to Kip, always making sure nobody messed with him. She shot Kip a quick smile and nodded, then turned toward the boys and scowled.
“I suggest you boys walk away before you find yourselves in the principal’s office. Wouldn’t it be a tragedy for you to miss the big game?” She gasped and covered her mouth, eliciting a few giggles from the other kids.
Chuck and his buddies were already backing away. Chuck kept his eyes on Kip the whole way, smiling, nodding. His friends did the same, elbowing each other and snickering.
“If I see you boys picking on Kip again, I promise your coach will be hearing about it. And I’ll personally see to it that you don’t play. Understand?”
Chuck and his buddies nodded, hands up in surrender.
Gwendolyn rolled her eyes, gathered her things, and stood. She shot another look toward Kip, sort of pursed her lips, then walked out the side door, the opposite direction of Chuck and his jock minions.
Kip started heading the same direction as her, not to try and talk to her, but because it seemed like the best route to avoid another confrontation. He couldn’t even look at Mrs. Lee, just wanted to be out of there.
“See you later, Toad. See you real soon,” Chuck said, cracking his knuckles and licking the front of his teeth. Cash and Jerrod thought this was hilarious.
Throb… throb… throb.
“What the fuck is that?” Zak blew smoke from his nostrils as he flicked the butt of his cigarette.
“Oh, come on. Don’t be such a pussy, man.” Jade unscrewed the top to the Crown Royale bottle, pressed it to her lips, and tilted her head back. She held it there for a few seconds before pulling it away and hissing. Then she offered it to Zak.
“No thanks. You know it’s barely past noon, right?”
“So what? It’s not a big fucking deal, okay?” She took another drink, then went digging around her purse again. “That’s what the coke’s for.” A small Ziploc bag full of white powder was now pinched between her thumb and forefinger.
“Are you fucking serious right now? You’re not doing that shit in my car. God… if I knew you had that…”
“Then what? You would have pulled your dick out of my mouth and told me to leave? I doubt it.” She opened the bag, glancing toward Zak as she did it.
“Don’t. I’m serious.”
“Dude, you’re totally blowing it right now. You know that?” She dipped her pinkie nail into the bag, pressed it to her left nostril, and snorted. Then she repeated for her right. Her eyes fluttered and she leaned back in her chair and moaned, smiled.
Zak started the car and started pulling out of the woods. He already hated himself for skipping school, for lying to Kip. His cousin had probably been looking for him all day, had probably already figured out Zak didn’t show up.
He’s gonna be pissed. I’ll have to make it up to him somehow.
“Where the fuck’re you going, Zak? Just chill out for a second.” She checked her nose in the visor mirror, ran her tongue over the front of her teeth. “Besides… coke makes me horny. Pull over and fuck me. Right now.”