“Well, um …”
“Whose face is red now?”
“Touché.”
“You were explaining hot and dirty sex?” She set her mug on the end table.
“Fine. Obviously, anything that is fast and rough.”
“Obviously.” She grinned. It would be more fun getting him to admit his little secret himself.
He glared at her. “Some dirty talk as well. Maybe a little hair pulling. Not on the bed, of course.”
“Of course.”
“I’m being serious because you asked.” He took a drink. “Not your typical missionary.”
She held up her hands. “Oh, this definitely wasn’t missionary.”
“Vanilla?”
“What’s that?” Oh, how I love goading him. He considers me his naïve little sister. I’d be happy to let him believe it … At least for a few more minutes.
“Well, uh, your typical sex. Usually missionary or doggy style. Or cowgirl with her on top.”
“What do you call atypical sex? Chocolate? Neapolitan?”
Emerson laughed. “You’re like to research things. Don’t you know?” He took another sip of his beer. “Kinky, Charlie. It’s called kinky sex. BDSM. Control, ropes, and spanking. Shit like that.”
She lifted her coffee mug to her lips, but it couldn’t hide the corners of her mouth as they turned up.
“Are you shitting me? You knew what I was talking about?”
Charlie smirked and tipped back the cool liquid with delight. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so embarrassed before. Priceless. It was worth it.”
“Anybody ever call you a tease?”
“Yeah, well, they used to.” Charlie sobered up a little, her melancholy returning. And before she could stop them, the words spilled out of her mouth. “I need some advice. I knew I could come to you. I may or may not be in trouble.”
“Charlie?”
“I’m starting to get in pretty deep with this guy. It’s getting intense. And just when I was starting to feel safe being back in a relationship, this guy from before comes back into the picture.”
He sat forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “Are you okay?”
She shrugged. “I will be, eventually.”
He was silent for a long time, rubbing his thumbs over the condensation on his bottle. He kept his gaze on the floor when he spoke again. “How long have you known about me?”
Charlie blinked. That was an unexpected question. “Well, a few years now.”
“What gave it away?”
“A comment you made after you read one of the books I was working on that time I came home for Thanksgiving. Something about how the heroine should have been more submissive in the bedroom. You gave me some suggestions that implied you had firsthand knowledge of the topic.”
“So?”
“So what?”
“So, Charlie, are you into kinky sex?”
Oh hell, just get it over with. “Yeah,” she mumbled against the glass lip.
“Is this too much for you? I mean, you’re my little sister.”
“Damn it, Emerson, I’m not a baby. I’m twenty-four years old.”
He rolled his eyes.
“I won’t go into details if that was what you’re asking me to do.”
“Good.” He sat back, shaking his head as if he was still in disbelief that they were having this conversation in the first place. “Can you … will you tell me what about it made you drive all this way to see me?”
She thought for a moment, trying to find the right words but failing miserably. Charlie curled into the corner of the couch. “I guess I liked the feeling of not being in control. Of being restrained. Being told what to do. But I am worried he will be like the last guy, I don’t know.”
“The last guy? What the hell …” Emerson almost choked on his beer.
“It happened in college. He was a teaching assistant. I was crazy about him. He said he would mentor me, train me. Things changed between us in a way I didn’t expect.” Charlie shifted gears. “How long have you been involved in the lifestyle?”
“Don’t tell Mikki. Or Mom. Definitely not Dad.”
Charlie crossed her heart. “I promise I won’t.”
“It wasn’t a question, Charlie.”
“I still promise.”
“Ten years.”
This time she did choke on her beer. Emerson rushed over to pat her on the back as she coughed until she could breathe. Well, damn.
“Secret is finally out. There are two of us kinksters in the family now. Except that you’re just a novice.”
“I take it you’re a Dominant?” There was no response. “A Master?”
Emerson laughed and gave her a look that warmed her. He was fucking serious.
“Holy hell,” she whispered. “So you know what a typical Dom should do? How he should act?”
“Charlie, it’s not like one comes off the Dom assembly line. No two Dominants are alike, just like no two people are alike. There isn’t some sort of federally mandated Dom checklist of requirements.”
“What about you, what are you like?”
“Um, enough about my kink. Let’s get back to your issue. You subbed a teaching assistant?”
She nodded her head. “Yes.”
“Charlie?” Emerson moved to sit next to her on the couch. He laid his hand on hers. “Did he hurt you in a way you didn’t want?”
Charlie sobered and frowned. She didn’t want to share any particular memory. She couldn’t. “No, not at first. He was sweet and patient, and I was willing and compliant. Eventually though things changed. He would get drunk, hold me down, and rip me open until I was bleeding and passing out from pain. He would punch me in the face and the stomach; leave me black and blue, not remembering a thing in the morning. He would tell me I am ugly and worthless and make me clean up my vomit from the amount of pain he had caused me. He would lock me in his room alone for hours at a time while he snorted lines.”
Charlie’s big brother remained silent. His face clouded, his eyes dark, his jaw jerking slightly as he clenched it.
She broke the silence. “He became a different person. It was like I was a whipping post or an object.”
Emerson’s voice was low and fervent. “He sounds like he saw you as a vessel, not a partner. I’m sorry your first experience wasn’t all you had dreamed it to be. Honestly, I don’t think they ever truly are. Even a vanilla relationship isn’t always good. Throwing a kinky wrench into the mix makes it harder. What were his basic rules?”
“Call him, Sir. Not speak unless spoken to. Not to touch him unless he gave permission. Trust him blindly. Obey him blindly. No contract. And if I used the safe word, he was done with me. Oh, and …”
Emerson looked at her with the full force of his gaze. “This lifestyle needs to be about being safe, sane, and consensual relationships. Trust me. You did the right thing by walking away. Especially with a guy like that. You have to see people for what they are, not what you want them to be.”
Charlie tried to hide her dismay. Emerson was not usually wrong when it came to people. “You obviously know more about this lifestyle than I do. I never thought I’d be getting this sort of advice from my brother, but hey …”
“I love you, Sis.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“And now the piece of shit is contacting you again after you ended it?”
Charlie pulled out her phone and showed Emerson the texts she had received.
“You’re worried he’ll come after you, aren’t you? What does your new Master say about all this?”
“He doesn’t know. Wait how did you …”
Emerson took his sister’s hand in his and turned it to expose the bruises on the inside of her wrist. “These told me.”
They were both quiet for a long time. Charlie liked being able to talk to someone about her life without having to mask who she was.
Emerson’s voice broke through her thoughts. “If it were me, I would suggest you tell him. But it has to be your decision. I can’t make it for you. Don’t let the past hurt you. It’s past. It’s done. It can’t hurt you unless you allow it to.”