It wasn’t true. She felt the past at her back always, ready to destroy the fragile world she’d made, but she blinked and tried to smile. Though she knew, it didn’t fool her brother. “Yes, you make a good point … ”
Her brother’s eyes softened. “You know, you don’t have to do this alone. There are people who can help.”
“Yeah?”
“If you’re willing, I could introduce you to a couple of friends I trust. One is another Master, unpartnered. The other is a female sub. You could talk to both of them. Ask questions. They’d be more than happy to help you get past the demons and feel comfortable in your new relationship.”
“So sort of a mentoring thing?” She felt sorrow, relief —too many things. She frowned suddenly. “Would you be there?”
“Only if you want me there. You don’t need to answer right now. In fact, I don’t want an answer tonight. Don’t rush it.”
“Okay.”
“How long are you staying?”
“I don’t know. I took the week off. At least overnight. Maybe a couple of days. Is that a problem?”
“Not at all.”
“Thank you. It means a lot to me.”
“Anytime. Let’s get you settled into the guest room, and we’ll talk more when I get back from work this evening, okay?”
She nodded and reluctantly got up from the couch to follow him down the hall. This weekend had definitely not gone the way Charlie had planned. But she was so exhausted, all she could think about right now was crashing in a soft bed with warm blankets cocooning her. It was all she wanted to do. To lie there and be comforted and think of nothing and go nowhere.
Chapter Eleven
Declan pretended to sleep as Charlotte slipped out. She left a note on her pillow. If he had his choice, he would have followed her. He would have followed her all the way home. His protective instincts were off the chart when it came to making sure she was safe. Charlotte pushed all the right buttons. But he knew he had to let her have some time. If he became too possessive, too protective she would freak out. And then she would run for good. Charlotte was a runner.
He had always hated runners. Declan could deal with brats, fighters, weepy women—hell, even whiners. But runners were too much damn trouble. Hard to catch. Then once you caught them, you’d have to bring them out of hiding. Charlotte was in this group. She hid behind her nerd girl image, but she was something special when she let that guard of hers down. And when she flashed a glimpse of what was really inside her, it did something to him.
But so far that’s all she’d given Declan; glimpses. There had been moments when he thought they would make a complete breakthrough and she would come out of hiding for good. He could see it on her face, but then it disappeared just as quickly.
I can go slow. If she needs to see self-control, I can show it to her. Fuck, I don’t think I can slow down much more. But it isn’t working. She still has one foot out the door. What the fuck?
Declan would give her up if he thought he could or if she didn’t respond to him. But that’s the thing, she submitted without even realizing it. She had no idea she was doing it, and it was the most beautiful fucking thing he’d ever seen. And that’s why he ’couldn’t let her go.
His cock twitched as a brief image flickered through his mind. The image of Charlotte sucking him off in the car before work Friday came into sharp focus. Thoughts drifted to the feel of her sweet pussy milking his cock dry after their session last night. God, she’s so perfect.
He’d only been away from her thirty minutes and already he was craving her. It was like quitting smoking.
Fuck, it’s going to be a long few days. Why the fuck am I going to Owen’s cousin’s place?
Declan knew the answer. He needed to give Charlotte the chance to run. Until she stopped hiding, the only way to know if she was being true to herself was to give her the opportunity to get away. If this situation is wrong for her, she won’t be able to keep herself from running. But it’s not wrong. It’s so right; it scares the shit out of me.
***
Halfway through his Monday, Declan caved and called Charlotte. It didn’t matter that it went to voicemail. He had to hear her voice. Something about it calmed him.
He considered blowing off Owen’s invitation to the munch Monday night, but in the end he made himself go. If for no other reason than to talk to Owen and get his take on things. It couldn’t hurt. There were five cars in front of Owen’s uncle’s house. Declan recognized hers right away. He tried not to cringe.
Declan walked up to the house and greeted Becker first. Becker was Owen’s cousin. Becker was his last name, and Declan had no idea what his first name was. That was something you adjusted to in the lifestyle with most people. Nicknames or last names only. For people who relied on building trust in their partner, they were an untrusting group. Declan knew of a couple who had been play partners for over a year before they knew each other’s given names.
He had no idea how involved in the lifestyle Becker was or had been. Right now, he was just a loner who lived in an old farmhouse in the country. His wife had passed away five years ago. As far as they could tell, Becker hadn’t dipped his toes back into the dating pool since. It seemed like a waste because he was a great guy.
“Hey, Becker. How’s things?”
“Pearse, hey. Things are good. Owen and everyone are out that way.” He pointed toward the west. “Better light this time of day.”
“You joining us?”
“Nah. My shoulder has been bothering me lately. I need to take a break.” Becker rubbed his right shoulder, wincing a bit.
“Caught yourself a girl, yet?”
“All the time. Catch and release.”
Declan nodded. Becker had been saying the same thing for as long as he knew him, which was going on four years. He figured it was Becker’s way of politely telling him to fucking mind his own business.
He walked through the side door and spotted the group. A moment later, he heard Owen’s whip crack. Declan knew it was his by the loudness of it. They were the only ones in their circle who invested serious money in their implements. They both had handcrafted French Martinet twelve plait whips made from Latigo leather that tapered to thin crackers at the end, producing a wicked sound. The other regulars sported mostly shorter stock whips or synthetics. They worked well but weren’t nearly as impressive sounding.
Declan tried not to notice Katherine as he approached, but she was like an old bad habit. Every once in a while your eyes are bound to shop even when it’s not what you want anymore. She was most definitely not what he wanted. Unfortunately, she caught him looking in her direction. Fuck!
He stopped and stood a comfortable distance from where she was standing, focusing his full attention on Owen. He was explaining something to Ford about timing, which was so critical to the more advance cracks. Declan ’guessed he’d arrived at the end of his mini lesson because the other guys who’d been listening were starting to palm their whips and spread out. He created his space and started his warm-up routine.
About ten minutes later, Declan spotted Owen out of the corner of his eye making his way toward him. He coiled his whip in one hand and turned to face Owen.
“Hey, glad you could make it.”
Declan nodded.
“Where’s Charlotte?”